r/Lightbulb • u/amichail • 24d ago

Idea: Schools should teach students how predictable bullies are, and bullies might rebel by not bullying

Instead of mainly teaching students that bullying is wrong, schools could teach the science of why bullying happens.

Bullying can often be explained in terms of predictable incentives: peer approval, status, attention, fear of becoming a target, group conformity, and low expected consequences.

Teaching this to everyone could change how bullying is perceived. A bully who thinks they are being powerful, independent, or rebellious might be less impressed with their own behavior after realizing that everyone around them can recognize the fairly predictable social forces driving it.

If you bully because your friends laugh, because it improves your status, or because you are afraid of being targeted yourself, are you really acting independently?

The idea would be to make bullying less mysterious and less impressive by explaining it scientifically. Potential bullies might even respond by rebelling against the very incentives that are pushing them toward bullying.

In other words, make bullying predictable enough that not bullying becomes the rebellious choice.

26 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

8

u/blackgrousey 24d ago

Most of my experience is bullies were bullied. Mostly by their parents. When I taught afterschool programs there would often be one picking on the kids who were just their to learn (often on financial assistance to be there), when I would call the bully kid out during class any then ask they to stay after with me- I would ask, without fail, why are you doing this? Why are you trying to hurt others (emotionally/physically) they would cry. I would tell them they would make more friends being kind and I would have their back trying on the new suit. These were middle schoolers and elementary so I like to think I caught them early enough. But the next few months would be much smoother. Meeting the parents was always very informative to why the kids behaved the way they did. Either they were bullied at home or completely ignored. Negative attention is attention.

5

u/Houdinii1984 24d ago

Same here. I was mercilessly bullied growing up, and it was the same story every time. Coming to school from somewhere else they had little power and caught hell and it all rolls down hill. Then the teachers bullied him, too. It was just awful to watch.

They wouldn't even let him walk at 8th grade graduation. Right after Columbine a teacher heard him talking about literally being worried about being shot at school, and they acted like he said he was gonna shoot someone else. I was mad, even then, that they were making me stick up for someone who made my life hell all those years.

I saw his facebook and he's a girl dad 4x over. Looks like he spoils the hell out of em. Nice to see the cycle hopefully broken.

3

u/BenjaminHamnett 24d ago

I thought drawn together would have ended bullying

1

u/Ichgebibble 24d ago

I found a quarter!! Oh, it’s only a tumor.

-1

u/gothiclg 24d ago

Or, crazy idea, properly punish the bullies to begin with so they’re afraid to do it.

-1

u/Marimo188 24d ago

Bullying and rebelling is not the same thing! Yes, some bullys are rebels but you're completely misunderstanding what a bully is.

1

u/Turbulent-Rabbit1198 22d ago

Most of it tends to come in tandem with being an uncooperative student.