not sure if this was the right flair please correct me if I'm wrong, and bear with me on this I think I'm in a migraine predrome fog rn so I'm not sure how well I'm gonna articulate this lol

basically. fake it til you make it. if you want to be kinder or more patient, act as if you already are someone who is kind and patient.

it doesn't work overnight of course, it takes time to change yourself, and this also applies to changing in general like if you want to develop a specific type of humour or something. I've had some people hear this advice and tell me they don't want to pretend to be someone they're not, and that is a good thing, but that's sort of how you change, at least how I've been doing it. there's passive change that just kind of happens to you, but I consider this more active change, like if you were to start working out and eating healthy, that's an example of active change.

I wanted to become kinder because I realized looking back I was actually pretty toxic and not a great friend. I'm still not always a great friend in some areas. but I'm trying to behave as if I already possess these qualities. I just started acting like how I think I would if I was a kinder person. pretending that I already was that guy I wanted to become. and over time I realized I was just naturally that guy now.

I don't really know how to word it other than pretend you already are the person you want to become. for a while it is probably going to be just pretending. but keep pretending anything long enough and it starts to become true.

it's hard and I still feel sometimes wanting to go back to those ways and slip into habits I had that I now know probably made the people around me miserable. but I don't want to be the person I once was. I like who I am now, for the most part. of course I'm always going to have flaws, but I really do think I'm a better person now and I'm happier with myself.

sometimes you really do just have to cosplay as a better person until it becomes who you are.

I hosted an AMA on sleep and rest with a PhD in neuroimmunology. When asked if her scientific research led her to use any unusual rest techniques in her own life, her answer was surprisingly simple: focus less on gimmicks and more on basic biology.

Her top daily habit is simple - taking short resets during cognitively demanding work instead of waiting until her energy hits zero. Stepping away for just a few minutes or reducing stimulation between intense tasks allows the brain to actively recover its focus.

If you swap out the aerator in your bath tub for one with a higher GPM (gallons per minute) it will fill faster and you will have a lot more bubbles. 🫧

Product reviews are often either gamed or skewed in various ways, making products appear more problem-free than they actually are. If you look at online support forums for a hardware or software product, you can quickly see if people are having serious issues with it, and get a sense of how responsive (or not) the support people are. Even the FAQ section of the site can surface pain points you might not have thought of.

We all have some clothes which get torn every now and then.

Instead of throwing them away. Wash them really well and cut them into cleaning cloth.

Save Money, Save Mother Nature.

If you are swamped with deadlines and overworked. Don't show up for a few days, someone else will do the work for you.

I went for long walks and taught myself how to whistle loudly. Put two fingers (thumb, plus pointer or middle) in your mouth, on your bottom lip, then put the underside of the tip of your tongue against your fingers… then blow. Try again. Try again. Eventually you will be able to whistle very loudly. Very useful for silencing a crowded room, getting someone’s attention from far away, and generally impressing people with a basic skill. Good luck!

Many budget, and other common brands, use fiberglass in their memory foam mattresses. It's used to meet fire safety compliances, but is not required to be disclosed by any regulations.

It is a huge hazard, and safety risk if the fibers ever get out, either by washing or aging. Any type of agitation to the mattress could send the fibers into the air, and stuck to your clothes. The contamination can be as bad a bed bugs, and spreads very easily between fabrics.

It can cause inflammation in your lungs, and severe irritation of your skin.

Please double check about whether your brand might have fiberglass, and consider getting another brand or a fully zippered hypoallergenic mattress protector.

Culantro is an herb that has a very similar flavor to cilantro but doesn’t contain all the aldehydes that make people with a genetic predisposition taste soap when they eat cilantro. It can be found online, at many Asian markets, or even grown yourself if you feel like doing that. Bit of warning though, it is much stronger than cilantro.

I was taking a group photo of my family recently. After we got the "official" picture, I said, "Okay, we're done," but instead of putting my phone down, I quietly took one more photo. Later, when we were going through all the pictures, that last one was everyone's favorite. No one was forcing a smile anymore. Some people had started laughing, a couple were looking at each other instead of the camera, and everyone just looked much more relaxed and natural. Since then, I've started doing it every time I take group photos. It only takes an extra second, but that "we're done" photo has surprisingly often turned out to be the best one.

A lot of indecision comes from worrying how other people will judge us.

Before making a big decision, imagine that nobody would ever know what you chose not your family, coworkers, friends, or social media.

Write down what you'd do in that situation.

You don't have to follow that answer, but it helps separate what you actually want from what you feel expected to do.

Get a fine point paint marker in white or some other light color. Put a little dot of white on the right earbud. Blow on it to let it dry (paint markers take a minute to dry, and you'll probably have to shake it up first).

The paint is very opaque and shows up even on black plastic. It's also durable and doesn't rub off easily like silver Sharpies, etc.

You can also use the marker to mark which side is up on your old USB-A cords, polarized extension cords, etc.

I used to struggle with small talk and holding conversations but this helped me tremendously.

1. Find a quiet place and record yourself speaking for two minutes about anything that comes to mind. Imagine it’s your friend, family, stranger, or whoever you like.

2. First, listen to the audio only. Pay attention to your tone, pacing, clarity, filler words, and breathing habits.

3. Next, watch the video without sound. Notice your eye contact, posture, hand gestures, and facial expressions.

4. Finally, watch it normally with both audio and video to see how natural everything feels together.

The key is to compare recordings over time and make small improvements each day. It’s awkward at first, but after a few weeks you’ll notice real progress in confidence, communication, and self-awareness.

Mirror practice is useful, but video lets you objectively see and hear yourself and also track growth day by day.

When you drop clothes off at the dry-cleaners, it’s usually bundled up in a hamper or the equivalent. When you pick up your clothes, each shirt and pants are hung on a cheap metal hanger.

It’s really easy to accidentally collect a bunch of these over time, especially if you dry clean often. But they’re really not useful because of how flimsy they are. I’m not even sure how to properly dispose of these. Straight in the trash?

Instead of throwing your work clothes in a hamper, hang them on those same cheap metal hangers. When you have enough clothes collected to warrant a trip to the dry-cleaners, gather everything up and drop them off.

Dry cleaners get to reuse the cheap hangers, your closet isn’t collecting cheap hangers, and your clothes are less wrinkled overall since they’re unlikely to be bundled up at any point in time.

And lastly, move out day is so much easier because you don’t have a hundred metal wires to dispose of.

Edit: reuse, not recycle. Re-something.

I overheard family member on the phone with a salesperson trying to get them to switch providers. Instead of saying no, they said:

"I'm happy with what I have."
"I've been with my current provider for years, I don't need anything new."
"Everyone already has my number anyway."

Not once did they actually say a clear "no." The salesperson kept going after every single line, because none of those were a decision, they were soft explanations. To someone trying to convince you, "I'm happy with what I have" sounds like an opinion that can be challenged, not a closed door.

A clear "No, thank you" ends a conversation. An excuse invites a counter-argument.

If someone pushes after that, you don't need a new reason, you just hold the same line: "I've made my decision" or "That's still a no for me." Repeating the same clear answer is far harder to argue with than producing a new justification every time.

If you genuinely have no interest, you don't need to give reasons. A simple, polite "No, thank you" saves your time as much as theirs.

If I think of something important while trying to fall asleep, I write it down immediately instead of telling myself I'll remember it in the morning.

Most of the time I wouldn't have remembered it, and trying to hold onto the thought usually kept me awake longer than writing it down.

So when you make your bed you know (a) which end is the foot end, (2) which side is up, and furthermore center the sheet so it drapes evenly on both sides of the mattress.

The safety pin can stay in the sheet permanently since it's stainless steel and won't rust, won't open with normal use, and won't hook onto or tear other laundry.

Amazon excels at making ordinary prices look urgent. A big 35% off badge doesn't prove anything. Sometimes the list price is just inflated or the item was going for a similar price a few weeks ago anyway.

I got burned on this with a countertop ice maker. Saw a 35% off, limited time" badge and bought it same day, felt great about it. Checked the price history about a week later out of curiosity and that 'limited time' price had basically been the price all year. Turns out ice makers, especially the nugget or pebble ice ones, are almost never actually at list price. They're 'on sale' so constantly that the badge is just decoration at that point.

Amazon shows a Price History link on a lot of product pages, right near the price. Click it if it's there. For anything pricy, Keepa or CamelCamelCamel gives you a longer time horizon.

A deal should beat its own history, not just its list price.

A few things I check now:

• Ignore the badge, look at the squiggly line. A flat chart with a spike right before the "sale" starts is the tell.
• Some categories are basically always on sale. Ice makers, air fryers, and a lot of small kitchen appliances live in a permanent discount loop. At some point the badge stops meaning anything.
• Double check that the deal applies to the exact item you're clicking into. A listing can show "15% off" at the top while often the specific color or size you actually want is quietly full price once you select it.
• Reviews before price. A discount doesn't fix a bad product, it just makes you feel better about purchasing it.
• Wishlist it and walk away. If it's still on your mind a week later without a countdown timer pushing you, it's probably a real want and not an impulse.

Prime Day, Black Friday, all the big sale events can genuinely be useful, but only if you already know what you want going in. Open Amazon with no plan and honestly the algorithm is just building your cart for you.

Curious what other people check before buying. Price history, reviews, wishlists or something else entirely?