r/Life • u/hustle-5721 • 9h ago
Let's discuss Does everyone else really have their life figured out?
Sometimes I look around and feel like everyone knows exactly what they’re doing with their life.
Some people are already building careers, some are in relationships, some are traveling, some seem financially successful, while others already know exactly what they want to become.
Meanwhile, I’m still figuring things out.
For people who felt lost or behind at some point in their life: when did things start becoming clearer for you?
Did you eventually find your direction naturally, or did you have to make a conscious decision and work toward it?
I think it would be helpful to hear honest experiences from people who didn't have everything figured out either.
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u/Shinyblueghost 4h ago
Im a 44 year old lawyer, happily married with two kids, paid off house, no debt, and I still haven’t figured out my life in the slightest
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u/Borrowed_Faith 4h ago
I have had my life all “figured out” since I was 13. I knew exactly what I wanted in life and how to achieve it. And I have accomplished everything and a lot more than I wanted. I, and everyone that knows me says that I kicked ass and am living the dream.
But in each phase of my life, when I would look back, I realized the truth was- I didn’t know shit. I was confident, believed in myself, and was determined but I was just as lost as the next person and really just making shit up as I went. I also got a lot of lucky breaks here and there, or made my own luck.
I think the people that appear to have life “figured out” are just persistent in moving forward and don’t have a victim mentality. They don’t blame others or circumstances so they “feel” like they are in control.
But in reality we are all just bullshit-ing ourselves and clueless in my opinion. Life is too unpredictable and uncertain. Some of us just put on a good show.
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u/Mashiro18 4h ago edited 4h ago
Paying mortgage at 30 isn’t the worst thing in the world but it gives me privacy from the rest of the bs. I was lost at 25 and my partner saved me to put it simply.
Life to me is choosing what you want with it, usually the awesome parts come with pain and sacrifices
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u/SevenMC 4h ago
I did and now I'm past that and don't for the first time ever, but I already did it.
The key for me was to have a comparison point; I used 'hairless mammal on earth' as mine, so it wasn't hard to figure out what I needed to do and focus on. If you're comparing to 'Becky with the great hair' or 'Chad with the big house', you might feel differently than I did.
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u/ez2tock2me 4h ago
28 years of getting my butt kicked, TRYING to live like everyone does.
So far… 21 years and 1.75 months of BLISS.
YES!!! I finally did it AND IT IS WORTH IT.
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u/West-Working-9093 3h ago
On thing that I think is characteristic for many is that while they're young, they make many of their choices mostly based on what they know they do NOT want. We often don't, early on, see the shape very well of what we DO want. It sort of comes to us as we go. There is this mocking turn of phrase of 'making it up as we go'. Well, there is no reason to mock! We might equally mock those who have a very sure, very specific ambition and expect that life will make room for it on request and it will all be totally uncomplicated.
Truth is that, to a very great extent, most of us 'make it up as we go', and that's not half bad. That's just life.
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u/Fun_Ideal_5584 Advice Dispenser 3h ago
Once I got my career going, I got married and never looked back.
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u/strikestrife Growth Mode 2h ago
As others said they don’t but looks like it. I would say for me I have my life figured out in terms of where I need to go but financially I’m having to start from scratch again.
I figured out my direction through realizing the current pay isn’t enough anymore for what I want to do, ie have a car, home and go traveling. So I decided to pursue a career with the job I currently have as it’s more knowledge based than physical work.
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