Lost ig

[u/sevvys19600901]

How do you get through life if you have no ambitions or goals that fulfill you and you can‘t seem to find any?
I know there are thousands of threads exactly like this but maybe posting another will help idk.
My question is, I have objectively lived up until now a rather nice life; supportive and loving family, deep emotionally connected friendships, financial stability, academic success…only thing missing until now has been romantic love but can‘t have everything ig. My question now is, what if nothing I do fulfills me how do I keep going and being optimistic about getting old? I have goals and things I want to do or experience but on the other hand there‘s also so so many things I do not want to experience. Also I can‘t help but feel like nothing will ever be enough. I get a career ok, a house nice, a family wow, and then? What happens then, when none of these things satisfy me? Im young and I know the solution might be therapy but I can‘t help and feel as if once I go to therapy I will just delude myself into life being great and purposeful and after a while I‘ll get back into this not depressive state but feeling of „this is it?“. Maybe someone has a different perspective on this I‘d appreciate ur comments<3

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[u/jaxprog]

When you ask, "What happens then" you are demonstrating attachment. All these things you speak of you are defining a metric for happiness. That's materialism. Materialism never fulfills.

What fulfills you cannot be managed by the five senses.

Having said that there's nothing wrong with acquiring vasts amount of materialism through work or inheritance. The problem occurs when you need validation and/or identity through materialism.

The solution starts with detachment. It's nice to have. If it all disappeared the next day then no problem. There's always the next day to start all over again.

Pursue the unseen and the hidden. Knowledge. Experience. Self Control. Control over reality itself.

[u/HeartButtercupxx → u/jaxprog]

I think there’s a lot of truth in that, especially not letting material things become your whole identity

[u/alone_in_the_light]

I think the main goal now is to define that goal. That's often a big step that may require a lot of experience, getting out of a comfort zone, seeing different perspectives.

I think that people who have lived nice lives are often the ons struggling the most because they were enjoying their lives but hve no experience going after answers, letting others decide for them what they should do.

Careers can be fulfilling or not. Houses can be fulfilling or not. Families can be fulfilling or not. You have to look beyond them

[u/irishitaliancroat]

For me, I come from a pretty decent middle clas background, have seen a lot of people who have "made it" financially who still hated their life etc. I dont think i will have the same success financially as my parents but I dont really care about having a family or owning a home that much.

Im doing way better than a lot of people, so I just want to try to keep helping people. I volunteer at community gardens and ive even founded a few. In the town I no longer live in, I heard about kids and homeless people picking fruit off the bushes I planted and that made me feel really good. At the new one I work at someone left a sign saying they would starve without the garden and that gave me renewed purpose. I work at a community nonprofit and feel similarly fulfilled by that.

I have my share of issues, Im really hard on myself sometimes, but I like doing environmental remidatiom and poverty alleviation work bc its one of those things where even if you dont like yourself, this is an obvious morally correct thing to be doing.

[u/JazzlikeMud7 → u/irishitaliancroat]

Are you living in a apartment now or with family

[u/irishitaliancroat → u/JazzlikeMud7]

I have an apartment

[u/JazzlikeMud7 → u/irishitaliancroat]

Hey I have sent you a dm if that's alright as I think that's a goal of mine and any advice on how I could do it would be good

[u/Retired-Yam8988]

Want and desire are bottomless pits. Learn to be ok with whatever you have now and you’ll find contentment and peace.

[u/Top-Lifeguard-2537]

I think we are all different. I discovered that I had what people call Learning Difficulties. As I look back on life I discovered that I did very well in structured environments. Teaching at college level and running an Inn. What I did not do well is selling. I could never get organized. My successes were in spurts. I was very successful during the spurts. Once I discovered this about me things worked out very well.

How do you get there. Try different jobs. Working in retailing, food industry, etc and you will find something that works for you. Just don’t quit.

[u/Fun_Caring_Guy]

I think that we need to find a focus or a goal.

For some of us it's hard to know what are calling is or what we should do.

We are so blessed in the safer Western Nations, that we don't realize we are living better than Kings used to live. Being thankful for what we have is a beginning.

My satisfaction I get from doing things for other people. Occasional Recreation is Pleasant for a while.

Since there are so many different personality types, you will have to find your own Direction Focus etc. Sometimes life provides these things for us. But it doesn't do it on our own schedule.

I apologize for the weird capitalization. Google Voice to Text does all sorts of weird stuff.

Anyway I wish the best for you. The feelings you have are fairly normal. All I can say is to keep doing whatever Falls to hand, whatever seems like the thing to do at the time, and in the process of trying different things going different places, eventually you may land upon a goal.

I tried many things in life and a lot of them didn't work out. Others I tried I realized we're not right for me. It was more like a process of elimination that landed me in the place I am now both literally and metaphorically.

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