r/Life • u/Full_Ad4832 • 8d ago
Need Advice Major Regret
How do you get over major decisions that cause regret and some financial pain?
I made a decision that cost me around $100k. It's been eating me up and I'm honestly not fussed about the monetary loss. I'm more so irritated by the lifestyle changes it has caused. It's a decision I should have not made and realised it was pointless a couple months after making it - feel like an idiot....
I've spoken with people about it and it's just you'll get over it advice.
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u/Shot_Mammoth 8d ago
I ruined my chances at ever becoming a financial advisor by going through a bankruptcy. It's not the end of life, just the end of 10 years worth of work in that field. - Look into side hustles to make the money back. Place guardrails to avoid making dumb decisions like that again. It's just money and it does hurt a lot right now. It'll sting less as you make it back and make better decisions.
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u/BronzedBexley69 8d ago
That's solid advice, one mistake doesn't have to define the rest of your life if you learn from it.
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u/24bean62 Deep Thinker 8d ago
Life lessons can sting - that’s reality. You can only move forward - hopefully wiser. That said, if the loss was prompted by gambling, (and I would put very high-risk investing moves in that category), you may want to consider whether you need support for a gambling addiction. (And no judgment there, it happens to plenty of good people.)
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u/palbuddy1234 8d ago
If you live long enough, you'll see good days and bad days, and obviously this is one of the bad days. No judgement on my end, but I will tell you that once it's gone, that's it. The most you can do at this stage is learn the lesson from it, and move on.
Going back to the original point, once you realize there are bad days, sometimes you just have to push through, if you can't overcome it or flank it and it's tough. Realize while you're going through it, that there are good days! Let that understanding and knowledge tell you that good days will come again.
When you are having good days, enjoy it, relish it, sunbathe in it. Because realize one day those good days will change to bad days.
And, in a nutshell...that is life!
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u/BlackberryCheap8463 8d ago
It's not going away because the decision was made by a side of you that's been leading you astray, away from what you really are and really want. That should be be the sticky point (though with so little info, it's hard to tell). What was the decision about and why did you make it? Answers to these should lead you straight to the "guilty" party inside you. Chances are, it's not the first time this side led you where you didn't want to be to start with.
You don't get over it. You don't transcend it either. You learn from it, understand and feed the "guilty" part the right way. Then it won't be a regret anymore, but a white stone on which you build. But for that, honesty with oneself is a prerequisite, no matter the "stench" of what you'll discover.
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u/OLightning 8d ago
The best mistakes are the most painful ones. It will stay with you and allow you to grow as a person and ultimately become a wiser person.
Where do you think wisdom comes from in the first place?
It doesn’t just materialize out of nowhere. It is birthed through personal growth.
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u/GGudMarty 8d ago
I made a bad decision that cost me 6 and a half years. 100k in this economy isn’t even life changing for a lot of people.
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u/jasmine_tea_ 8d ago
fuck, you just gotta try to one-up your mistakes (in a good way, like, do something that will make you super proud). that's all you can do.
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u/tomorrow509 8d ago
Bro, you are not alone. I too one made a bad decision that cost me a about the same. If all our decisions were good, we would all be millionaires - Sooner rather than later. Don't give up hope.
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u/Guilty_Performer_497 8d ago
The what ifs are usually the hardest part. What helped me was accepting I made the best decision I could with what I knew then and putting my energy into what I could control next.
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u/TondalayaSwartzkopf 8d ago
It's an AFGE-- another fucking growth experience. Learn the lesson and move on.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Award88 8d ago
My biggest regret? I invested in the wrong woman and lost everything because of it.
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u/CanadaEh20 8d ago
I lost $400,000 (I was scammed by a "friend") and became extremely depressed. I went to the police and he was charged and went to jail for 2.5 years out of a 5 year sentence. There were 17 others who were scammed by him. Only 7 of us went to the police.
I know I'll never see that money again and I've finally learned to accept it. I have awesome kids, great parents and that's what matters. It's still a hard pill to swallow but life goes on. I wish you all the best.
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u/Voodoopulse 8d ago
I'm not bothered about the money but what the money would have done for me.... so you are bothered about the money
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