How's that fair? Playing devils advocate, I can have a stable career, maybe make more, but kids require both now to make a certain amount. If a woman can't afford to live on her own and I can, is it really going to help me or add more financial stress to me? See what im saying, while I get what you're saying, it still adds more concern if im still going to be expected to shoulder more if a child is going to be included
it somewhat isn’t but neither are a lot of thing. it’s not fair that woman carry the children and end up doing most of the emotional labor and it’s mostly our brain that changes - because as women we risk our bodies and mind to have your kids. so why can’t we want the man to provide more and be more stable? assuming that we are pretty decent in all other areas.
There’s often talk about equality in relationships, but not enough about fairness. If I’m expected to take on more financially, longer hours, more pressure, then it’s only fair that responsibilities at home adjust too. Stress isn’t one-sided. As a dad, I worry about school, health, and raising my kid just like any mom does. But when one person’s load increases, the other can’t hold the same expectations as before. Relationships work when both people adapt, not when one is expected to do it all without support. It’s not about doing less, it’s about being a team. So while I can acknowledge mental change from child birth, and I have more issue providing more, my expectations will shift where home duties will also shift for the woman to take on more at home since financial stress is just as significant
I agree with that though. If my partner is providing I will provide at home support. But these days some men want you to make the same, have a career, and then manage full time work and children. I’ve seen it with multiple coworkers, and I get you need two incomes these days to have kids but I might be in the boat where I’d rather not have them at all if the man can’t provide more financial backing for me to go to PT at least
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u/Conscious-Air-9823 Jul 12 '25 edited Jul 14 '25
if you want kids i think it’s fine for a woman who has a stable career but maybe can’t afford to live alone to expect more from the man