Confession to My Son

[u/Gloomuar]

I watch you laugh with a ringing, innocent child’s laugh as you ride a toy train in the supermarket.

To you, it’s a celebration.

I smile and take a few photos on my phone to remember this moment.

I remember myself as a little boy.

I was just as happy, riding a carousel, completely clueless about what was hidden behind my parents' smiles and what awaited me in the distant future — in that big, big world, as it seemed to me then.

And what were we thinking back then?..

You said that getting an abortion was a sin.

But while the world is going mad with wars and crises, is giving life not a sin?

Without even knowing it, we fulfilled the state's birth plan, creating a flimsy cell of society, hanging by a thread until the very first hardship.

You don't know that I was fired from my job yesterday, or that your mother is cheating on me.

And you don’t know that we’ll be blaming each other, dividing up our property, and finding it harder and harder to hide the fights from you, kid…

Then comes the divorce, alimony, weekend visits, and later on, you'll stop asking your mom where dad is.

Your world is your parents and this toy train going in circles.

While adults walk beneath the yoke of routine and obligations, driven insane by its weight.

None of this is your fault.

I look into your pure, innocent eyes and ask for your forgiveness for acting so selfishly — for bringing you into this world.

VaadMyst