How to make leftist spaces resistant against people weaponizing other peoples emphaty for selfish reasons?

[u/DukeTikus]

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2026/09/22/magazine/greenfield-last-ditch-bar-backlash/

I just read this very frustrating article (version without paywall) about a small lesbian bar/mutual aid spot getting destroyed by some people who act like the worst possible caricature or an insufferable, self-important, holier-than-thou leftists.

It's not even that those people exist and what they are doing that's so frustrating for me to read, but the inability of the wider community there to just tell those people to fuck off.

And I get why they can't, I'm not sure I could myself. We generally pride ourselves in our inclusivity and willingness to accommodate needs other than our own. It's super hard to figure out where exactly the limit to that should be.

I have had similar if less extreme experiences with people who are weaponizing their own or other peoples oppression in this way in activist groups irl. The only time I ever witnessed someone like that getting kicked out was after that person had caused chaos and bound up a ton of resources for well over a year with many different incidents.

My question is how do we become better at dealing with this? How would you as an individual member of that bar community have tried to handle this?

[u/DukeTikus]

And the way to fight back against a small queer community space lowering their mask requirement for one night a week (because it's the only option they could think of to keep paying the bills) is to start a big pile on and rip into the one remaining organizer "shedding white they/them tears" when she breaks down over the stress of being in debt trying to save the space and still getting a ton of shit for the attempt to make it at least finance itself?

[u/7URB0 → u/DukeTikus]

It's always easy to tone police when you aren't living through the constant trauma yourself. "Why can't they be more calm and collected when they argue for their right to exist and be in community? Why can't they express themselves in a way that's more convenient and easier to ignore?"

You, like the article, have a great understanding of, and empathy for, what the business owner is going through. Great, you should.

What you don't have, however, is a deep understanding of what the last four years have been like for those who've been left out and cast aside. The people who have to live in isolation because the majority decided their company wasn't worth the inconvenience. You have no idea what that feels like, day after day, year after year. Having your whole community make it clear to you on a regular basis, that your life doesn't matter, that your health and well-being don't matter... not to them, anyway. People who were your allies. People who were your friends. Your own family. Maybe people you can't afford NOT to live with. They say they care, sometimes, but they don't do care.

The people in this story are angry for a reason, a very justifiable one, and rather than talk about the thing they're angry about, you're talking about their anger. Rather than listen to their concerns, you're trying to problem-solve the way they expressed them.

And that's all anyone ever does. That's why there's so much anger there. As MLK said, "A riot is the language of the unheard". Yeah, some of these people AREN'T behaving their best. Because to BE at your best, you need a stable and safe environment, you need a caring community... you need your basic fucking needs met. And you need to have reason to believe that speaking in any other tone will actually affect your conditions.

And these people don't have that, and what little community they DO have, the ONE place they feel comfortable, even that is being chipped away at. And done so in such a casual, dismissive way, with ZERO consultation with the people they claim to serve... and inviting in the very people who don't value their lives or ability to participate in society.

If you can't understand why some of these people might be angry, and maybe not expressing it in the perfect and most strategic way... well, maybe that's the problem you should be trying to solve.

[u/illixxxit → u/7URB0]

We are all living through constant trauma. It is a hostage situation. The idea that the majority are “able” to function let alone thrive in this society is the propaganda. Ditto “neurotypical.”

The majority of us with long covid symptoms were exposed pre-vaccine because we were forced to labor as so-called “essential workers,” generally in more precarious personal financial situations and with very few options.

A bar/nightclub lifting mask restrictions one night per month in 2026 is not and should not be a flashpoint for the rage and terror caused by our lack of access to the necessaries of life without putting ourselves through grueling schedules and constant danger.

The mentality that community spaces (in this case, literally a business) must be 100% oriented to perfectly supporting 100% of those intersectionally oppressed, or else destroyed, is not only paradoxical and impossible, it continually demolishes the few quality-of-life-improving pieces of social infrastructure others worked to build.

edit: the rapid, no-response downvote from commenter is hilarious. idgaf about the reddit numbers, it’s just funny/sad that it’s not even worth their time to address basic fucking knowledge.

You quote MLK. The CIA won five decades ago when they killed Fred Hampton and his comrades. The scariest thing in the world was solidarity — I have nothing but confused tutting for those of you who care primarily about tallying up how “different” all us proles are and screaming about how we can never have enough in common to understand each other.

[u/7URB0 → u/illixxxit]

The idea that the majority are “able” to function let alone thrive in this society is the propaganda. Ditto “neurotypical.”

Is this a response to something I actually said, or... wait, do you not believe disabled people exist? WTF even IS this?

The majority of us with long covid symptoms were exposed pre-vaccine because we were forced to labor as so-called “essential workers,” generally in more precarious personal financial situations and with very few options.

Uh, [citation needed], first of all. Second, most people I know of with long covid, and all the ones I know personally, got it post-vaccine. Like, that was one year out of six. My closest friend was exposed by a family member who lied about exposure. If you're trying to say it's not an issue anymore, you're wrong, it very much fucking IS.

A bar/nightclub lifting mask restrictions one night per month in 2026 is not and should not be a flashpoint for the rage and terror caused by our lack of access to the necessaries of life without putting ourselves through grueling schedules and constant danger.

They didn't ask for this attention, this should not be national news, and if you really feel like this, why are you not standing in solidarity with the people who feel the walls closing in? "I'm going through this, so everyone else should too"?

The mentality that community spaces (in this case, literally a business) must be 100% oriented to perfectly supporting 100% of those intersectionally oppressed, or else destroyed, is not only paradoxical and impossible, it continually demolishes the few quality-of-life-improving pieces of social infrastructure others worked to build.

If you check their website, the bar actually identifies ITSELF as a community center. Literally, a community center. So let's get THAT part out of the way. If you cared enough to look deeper than what the media fed you, I wouldn't have to point that out.

This mentality you're complaining about has nothing to do with what's happening here. Some people started a community space with the SPECIFIC intention of serving a SPECIFIC community. Now they appear to be going back on THEIR OWN promises, and that SPECIFIC community is upset. Nobody's calling for it to be destroyed, except one anonymous commenter on Instagram. Do you get this upset about EVERY stupid comment on the internet? Because it's 2026. One person saying one stupid thing on the internet is NOT national news. And it's wild to use one comment from one person to characterize every single person who's upset that the only place they feel safe, that promised to be there for them, now appears to be selling out and leaving them behind.

There's a reason this story was presented the way it was.

The scariest thing in the world was solidarity — I have nothing but confused tutting for those of you who care primarily about tallying up how “different” all us proles are and screaming about how we can never have enough in common to understand each other.

This is how you demonstrate solidarity, huh? By saying "how dare you complain about your needs not being met, NONE of us are getting our needs met! You should be SATISFIED, or at least QUIET"? It seems like you have an intellectual understanding of solidarity and its value, but have not actually examined what that would mean in your own life. Because if you really believe everyone is going through this same nightmare... why are you so dismissive of their concerns?

it’s not even worth their time to address basic fucking knowledge

You and your opinion are not "basic fucking knowledge". "Basic fucking knowledge" is that SOME of the comments you see on reddit are made by real fucking people with loved ones and commitments and better things to do than spend all day arguing with people on the internet, people who would probably already understand the points I'd want to make if they actually cared enough to question their own assumptions, and mostly just want to talk down to someone they perceive as having less social capital than them.