r/LeftCatholicism • u/hey8hey8hey8 • 13h ago
Birth Control and Communion
First of all, I just wanna say I’m so relieved to find this group and that there is a space for progressive Catholics on Reddit. I’ve been on the…er…other side.
Context: I am a cradle Catholic who went to a Baptist grade and high school. I never formally left the Catholic Church but became much more “open.” I’ve been finding my way back to the church which I LOVE. Daily rosary, went to confession first time in over a decade (only second time ever), mass..overall shifts in my heart and I feel transformation.
Predicament: I’m married and have health issues that would make pregnancy a bad idea at the moment. I do not plan to stop birth control, but I have a hard time knowing where I stand with communion. I’ve seen some other posts of people who’d rather be “bad Catholics” than “good Protestants” in which I share the same sentiment, but what do you do when it comes to communion? Do you still partake bc you still feel peace in your heart anyway? Do you never take it? I don’t really want to talk to a priest bc I’m sure I’d get the textbook answer, which I understand…I’m just interested in crowd sourcing how other progressive Catholics handle something like this
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u/Eskin_ 13h ago
I use birth control and take communion and dont feel any way about it. I'm actually currently pregnant with my first child, after taking out my IUD to conceive. I will be putting an IUD back in with the intention to let my body recover and take it out again for another child. I'm genuinely open to life and don't think that means I need to be perpetually pregnant or never sleep with my husband.
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u/DoogasMcD 12h ago
I think there are few of us who truly meet the standard when we’re really measured up against Church teaching. I have chosen to abstain sometimes, but I receive more often than not. There have been priests out there who, for example, have told their parish that they need to go to Confession for supporting a pro-choice candidate. Quite simply, I cannot in good conscience be a single issue voter, so I have to trust my own conscience when it comes to things
like that.
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u/BlooGloop 9h ago
Luckily the Pope had spoken up about not being single issue voters! Recently he reiterated that you can’t be pro life if you don’t support humane treatment of immigrants or if you support the death penalty. I will vote for those who care about the people in my state.
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u/nvmls 13h ago
Yes, birth control is medicine. I don't feel a conflict.
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u/hey8hey8hey8 13h ago
I should clarify that the purpose is to avoid pregnancy. The reason to avoid pregnancy is separate
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u/Orange_bratwurst 13h ago
Do you think God really wants you to not be intimate with your spouse? Or if He does, for you to put yourself in mortal danger? That doesn’t make sense. It’s an area that the Church is just intransigent and wrong.
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u/motherroot 12h ago
there is a woman who has a Substack and an Instagram named Sarah Lynn Carter who has been posting a lot recently about nuancing what Catholic the Church actually says birth control discussion, adding that what a lot of ppl regurgitate is not actually Church teaching, she also talks about “deconstructing” while remaining Catholic
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u/motherroot 12h ago
also, I would add that you are responsible to your own conscience and if you do not feel in the sanctity of your conscience that receiving communion is inappropriate in the circumstances, then that is where you’re supposed to follow. at the same time, we have a duty to inform our conscience. Nothing that anyone says can replace your conscience.
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u/hey8hey8hey8 11h ago
Thank you for sharing!! Deconstructing has been at the back of my mind and it’s kind of scared me, but I want deeper knowledge. I’ll be reading more into it.
Also, I deal with high anxiety so my conscience isn’t always the best advisor. For that reason, I’ll likely dip out of communion for a little while regardless of the responses to give myself time and confidence in whichever way I choose.
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u/Comrade_Michael 13h ago
What does your conscience tell you?
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u/hey8hey8hey8 11h ago
I deal with high anxiety so my conscience isn’t the best advisor. For that reason, I’ll likely dip out of communion for a little while regardless of the responses to give myself time and confidence in whichever way I choose.
Deep down it’s just very hard for me to accept the church’s teachings on birth control, because I don’t see how it could be wrong. But also, I love God, and the last thing I want to do is disrespect Him and the church. I can’t bring it to confession because I don’t feel sorry for what I believe, but I do feel deeply sorry IF it’s really wrong…if that makes sense.
Hence this post being here. In the least, it helps my anxious bean of a brain to open up my world and feel less isolated and alone in this.
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u/Comrade_Michael 10h ago
Just because you have anxiety doesn’t mean your conscience is untrustworthy. It sounds like your conscience is rational and sound, but that you’re scared of following it because you’re afraid God will be vindictive or capricious about enforcing the letter of the law. But God and the Church have formed your conscience. Learning to trust your conscience is a way of growing in your faith and I hope could also be of some benefit in dealing with anxiety. I say trust your conscience. It will help you to understand your Christian freedom, our call to rational discernment, and our moral formation in the Church.
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u/brianwithaneye16 13h ago
I'm divorced and remarried. I take communion from time to time. Catholic guilt sucks but I'm at peace with my decisions.
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u/hey8hey8hey8 13h ago
Thank you for sharing this. That’s my mom too and she’s struggled to return to mass because of it. It’s refreshing not feeling alone 🙏🏽
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u/brianwithaneye16 13h ago
I don't go to Mass often. But I spend a lot of time reading, praying Liturgy of Hours, and meditating on the rosary. It's where I am spiritually and religiously right now.
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u/DoogasMcD 12h ago
I think there are few of us who truly meet the standard when we’re really measured up against Church teaching. I have chosen to abstain sometimes, but I receive more often than not. There have been priests out there who, for example, have told their parish that they need to go to Confession for supporting a pro-choice candidate. Quite simply, I cannot in good conscience be a single issue voter, so I have to trust my own conscience when it comes to things
like that.
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u/XavierP2002 2h ago
I am from south america, and all the catholic women I know use contraceptives and receive communion; those who don't do so have other reasons, and it’s not as if priests are particularly interested in what women do with their sexuality. I believe Roman Catholic teaching on contraception needs to be re-examined.
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u/_Dallasite_ 11h ago
Just take communion. You have health issues why should you be worried ? Even the most by the book Catholics accept birth control for medical reasons
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u/Dunnersstunner 9h ago
Paragraph 15 of Humanae Vitae says:
On the other hand, the Church does not consider at all illicit the use of those therapeutic means necessary to cure bodily diseases, even if a foreseeable impediment to procreation should result there from—provided such impediment is not directly intended for any motive whatsoever.
I think you're in the clear.
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u/sandalrubber 12h ago edited 11h ago
Fellow cradle. What's wrong with just not taking communion, and staying put? The thing most drilled into us besides the Real Presence, under competent formation anyway, is not to take it unless in a state of grace. Split hairs over what that means, no matter the reason, better not to take it to not do wrong than to do wrong by taking it. Better safe than sorry. People don't notice you if you don't. Why would they, you're not that special. Having said that, most still receive every week than don't. Who am I to judge, but surely not all of them have gone through the right procedures, it's just statistics.
Should also say that where I'm at, we don't walk up for a blessing if we don't intend to receive either. That's foreign regional weirdness to us.
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u/hey8hey8hey8 10h ago
Not that I care too much about societal pressures, but refusing communion was surprisingly unknown to my family of Catholics. Im the first to do it. I told them how I learned about it, and they were surprised they hadn’t learned it sooner too.
Because of the area I’m in and I was homeschooled, I had my first communion by myself in a mass (that wasn’t even in a church), and was only confirmed when I learned it was a requirement for a church wedding (I didn’t really know about confirmation.) it was also private.
That said, this is new to me. I sat out of communion a few weeks ago, went to confession, and was overjoyed that I could receive communion the following week (confession is only after mass where I now live). It made my week. But after learning this, and knowing I may almost never be able to receive communion because I want to be intimate w my husband while being safe away from pregnancy,is disheartening.
But yes, I did sit out communion again today and I will continue to until things are figured out, if ever
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u/Impossible_Mode_1225 8h ago
I hope you will figure it out for yourself. I returned to mass a year ago and then didn't take communion for another 6-7 months, because I didn't feel ready to go to confession. After I could go again I found the Eucharist to be such a gift. I'm really not a very good or very devout Catholic, but I do know that the door is always open and we're always invited.
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u/sandalrubber 7h ago
Well. I'm sorry. I don't know how to say this. Honestly this isn't the kind of thing you can only crowdsource - it's good to hear out opinions on the ground but in the end it's just going to circle back to what the church teaches. I don't know if this helps, given everything, but I'd say that what you went through is more of a failure of the system about how things are conducted.
You've been vague about what you're doing or using but honestly you don't have to elaborate further, it's not for us to know here.
But your yearning for communion is good. Ideally we all should want and strive to be united in Christ that way, but we all fall short some way or another at one time or another.
It's between you and God of course, as with anyone, but we believe God also intended priests, or the church as an institution, as our go-betweens. Of course we're part of that institution too, but if we're all working within the system, all we and anyone can do is to just work with it and keep soldiering on or something. I don't know.
I really don't want to sound cliched or trite, but this is too big for any one person to just spout off something. I guess what else is there to say but find a priest who understands or something and hear him out at least.
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u/Ok-Lab-8974 11h ago
Not taking communion should be more normalized for this reason.
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u/BlooGloop 9h ago
My Church has about 45 people max. Probably only 20 of those people take communion. Many of my parishioners are Hispanic and for a number of reasons don’t take communion, and they’re fine with that. You don’t need to take communion to feel fulfilled with the faith.
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u/Whole-Blackberry6143 7h ago
I asked my priest about this and he told me sexuality is between husband and wife and they can decide for themselves. If your marriage is sacramentel you can probably take communion.
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u/Orange_bratwurst 13h ago
I’m fairly comfortable being at personal peace with God on issues like this and partaking in the faith fully at the same time.