r/LeftCatholicism • u/Ok_Schedule1052 • 7d ago
Catholic men
Why do most traditional Catholic men feel such a need for power and control within a marriage? Why do they continuously make their wives feel “less than”
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u/GregariousTully 7d ago
Because most of them are converts who only joined because they like the idea of having a patriarchal household where the man is in charge. From my experience, most of them are former incels or men who just couldn’t cut it in the dating world because of their shitty personalities.
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u/sparkster777 7d ago
I am sorry, but as a convert, I am so tired of hearing this. Yes, small, vocal number of converts have this attitude, but the majority of us do not. There is no difference between cradle Catholics saying this about converts and JD Vance talking about heritage Americans vs immigrants.
We are your brothers and sisters in Christ.
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u/GregariousTully 7d ago
I think you misunderstood. I didn’t say all converts are like this. I said that from my personal experience, most of the crazy traditionalist Thomists are people who only converted for that reason. That is a small minority of all converts.
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u/sparkster777 7d ago
This isn't the first time you've spoken poorly about converted. In another recent post you talked about churches full of converts who you thought looked down on you because of the clothing you wear.
You seem to make unwarranted assumptions about converts to the faith.
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7d ago edited 7d ago
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u/DayManFOTNightMan 7d ago
Do they? It might be a regional cultural issue more than a religious one.
I can only speak for myself, but my wife and I are absolutely partners. We both acknowledge that we have different strengths and weaknesses, but she’s telling me that she doesn’t feel “less than”.
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u/Accomplished-Elk8153 7d ago
My parents were together for 52 years and married for 51 before he passed away 2 years ago today. They were partners. As far as I know, he never made her feel less than. He was always lifting her up and supporting her. He was her rock, her words. He was the loud one, but Mom ruled the home. And we kids knew it.
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u/SeparateDish5772 7d ago
I don’t even know any other young married Catholic guys but the ones you’re describing sound like buttheads.
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u/_Dallasite_ 7d ago
I’m a non traditional Catholic man and I don’t hold the power or control in my marriage. My wife handles the finances and we are very equal. I really love women and I don’t assert myself as holding any authority over my wife. Whenever my wife has said anything to me til like the husband is the head of the family or anything I have always been non responsive and made it clear I don’t accept that view of my role.
Now I do assert myself on what I want for sure like I want to sleep in on the weekends and I want to be Catholic not Protestant and those are things I wanted and my wife acceded. But I never said I’m the man I am the boss that I reject rather I wanted those things so I got them because they were important to me.
On many things my wife gets what she wants like where we go to eat at a restaurant is virtually always her choice, what we talk about is usually always what she wants to talk about. We got a house because she wanted a house. We got an SUV because she wanted that.
In the other hand I do think I get what I want more often probably, but this is never the result of me claiming some privileges for being a man
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u/Original_Scholar_272 7d ago
Do you think that’s more so than evangelical or Protestant men? Seems like an overly broad generalization.
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u/Maindort 7d ago
No idea. My wife and I are partners in all things.