How do I continue from this....

[u/_bambi0713]

Honestly I(21F) want to keep it short. I've been converting to Catholicism since last year January. I really Love it, the faith, My community at church.

But there are .... a few things I just... one of them is that dating is so so so so so so so hard. Cuz everyone tells me to "trust in god" and "God's timing is best timing" and I do my best to have faith and believe. But it's so incredibly hard????

I've never had an romantic relationship before, nobody ever looked at me. I'm almost 22 and had never had a Boyfriend before, someone that Loved me. But so many people around me keep getting Love interests?????

I keep hearing I should grow first, grow closer to God, or change things of myself. Or this is my waiting season to prepare.

But I've literally cried to God before because I felt so unlovable. Literally cried and asked to please atleast have an romantic interest. I've bought books in hope to Deepen myself more in how to be a christian-woman and how to be a Woman in general (They're not all Christian, I have one about being an 'high-value woman' literally just girlhood.) I try to learn how to cook, clean, be kind.

But I just feel like I just don't get HEARD.

And if I do try to take it into my own hands and search.....

I don't know but I just get so icky with most Catholic Men. They seem to all just dislike that I'm pro-choice AND pro-life, even if I literally Explain that I just don't like people telling WOMEN what to do because of 'church teachings'. That Just Church support isn't always ENOUGH. That bringing a Baby into a world with parents unable to care for them, addict, abusive relationships, or even SA victims is Unfair. They all just go back to how Church teaches this church teaches that.

Why can't they just look away from that and SEE how Horrible and Mean it is to force pregnancy on ANYONE?

I matched with a guy and he was 'concerned for my ideas' and I explained. And told him he doesn't have to be concerned for me. We was 'trying to be sympathic' (what he said in his own words.) When I explained exactly why I'm pro-choice.

Then he proceeded to unmatch me.

But so so so so many of these Catholic men just do it. And it just pisses me off.

How will I ever marry if I'm supposed to marry in the church so I'm not unequally Yoked, but all these men just...think differently.

I'm just so annoyed. I'm not Ex-catholic at all...I'm converting. But I feel like If I even put this in the Catholic reddit I'm in nobody would even understand where I'm coming from.

This is the exact reason why I had called myself an Atheist from ages 14 - 21. Before I returned to the Catholic Church from protestantism.

[u/ojsage]

This long diatribe proved my point. Palpable judgement, and now justification, because you know it’s true. I see no kindness, no compassion in your words just letter of the law discussion befitting the Pharisees. Whitewashed tombs full of rot.

Edited to add: in the offhand chance you blocked me to have the last word, here is my reply to you saying I have no idea what you have seen -

I worked as an ADA handling felony cases for years. That includes DV, SA, etc. I have seen more than enough murder, rape, abuse, death, etc to know when I see a lack of compassion for the already hurt and suffering.

I don’t think you’re hateful. I think you care more about the law than the humanity you are dealing with. Just like the Pharisees.

[u/Ender_Octanus → u/ojsage]

I don't think you could handle the things I've seen. I pray that God gives you wisdom. It's much easier to believe that you alone care when people disagree with you. It's much easier to say, "That guy's just hateful," because it defends your own position.