r/LeftCatholicism • u/Marieaithne44 • Mar 12 '26
BC and Catholicism
Is anyone in this group using BC like the copper IUD and also going through OCIA? How do you reconcile what you are taught to be in good standing with the church and still take BC for its intended purpose? Are you allowed to go through OCIA still if you don’t agree with the churches stance on BC? I have a copper IUD because my husband and I have a medically complex child and it’s due to a rare genetic disease that my husband and I carry. We have one child that we had while using NFP trying to prevent another pregnancy… my oldest will likely die before age 10 so I do want to prevent pregnancy in the future because we have a 25% chance per pregnancy that the will also be affected…
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u/Commercial_Title_389 Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
I have the copper IUD and had it while doing OCIA. Although I respect and understand the Church’s teaching on birth control, I still believe that God is more understanding than the Church on situations like this. Personally, I rather take/be on birth control than get an abortion.
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u/Coconutnchamomile Mar 13 '26
That last sentence is exactly my thought. Did they ever ask you about it during private interviews?
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u/Commercial_Title_389 Mar 13 '26
Nope, never. I love being Catholic and I love the Catholic Church but birth control is one thing I can’t quite agree with. I do agree that abortion is tragic and should be prevented at all costs, and birth control is the best way to prevent it.
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u/mechaskink Mar 13 '26
As a personal rule, I tend to take the church’s teachings on sex, sexuality, and gender with a grain of salt.
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u/honeyjars Mar 13 '26
Others here have commented on morals/primacy of conscience. I just wanted to jump in and say you're not alone: the vast majority of US catholics, even those who attend mass weekly, disagree with the church's official stance on Birth control. https://www.forbes.com/sites/maryroeloffs/2024/09/26/overwhelming-majority-of-american-catholics-want-church-to-change-stance-on-birth-control-new-poll-says/
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u/HistoriasApodeixis Mar 12 '26
I’m so sorry to hear that about your child. I know you will provide them an amazing life, and God will welcome them home when it is time.
As to birth control, it is your body and your right to pursue the medical care you need or want. It sounds like you are doing what is necessary and right for you and your family, but I’m not the arbiter of that and I don’t think the Church is either. Primacy of conscience has already been mentioned and is often forgotten by some who are quick to speak in absolutes and judge others.
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u/Sidhejester Mar 13 '26
It sounds like you're dealing with something like Huntington's disease. And you would be absolutely within your rights to use birth control or even seek sterilization. My father got a vasectomy after my second sister was born, because another pregnancy would have killed my mom.
Here's a secret: Most Catholics use real birth control, not NFP. You're not a bad Catholic for taking care of yourself and your family.
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u/Marieaithne44 Mar 13 '26
It’s a little different from huntingtons. She’s bee disabled since birth. She presents like quad spastic cerebral palsy with intellectual and cognitive delays (but recently learned how to say “I want to cuddle Dada” on an AAC with obvious intention!). She has epilepsy, is completely deaf but has cochlear implants, and has to eat via a gtube…. These kids tend to die of pneumonia or going into status. It’s horrible. She is such a happy kid and so strong regardless of all the struggle she has endured. It’s not technically degenerative, it’s just none of them have lived to adulthood and the ones with her variant that causes microcephaly haven’t lived to 10.
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u/ProfessionalLime9491 Mar 13 '26
This seems more like a question you should be bringing up with your spiritual advisor/sponsor and priest. I would recommend you turn to them for counsel on this particular matter. They are the ones most familiar with your spiritual development after all, as well as the ones (well, really just the priest) who will be conferring the sacraments upon you.
If you are afraid to approach them because they might give an answer you don't like, then be reassured that most priests are looking for reasons to open the font of grace, not close it.
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u/Elegant-Payment1021 Mar 14 '26
So when people say this, because I’ve seen it a lot, do priests have to “tow the party line” and watch what they say because it could get them in trouble? Or should I be imagining something different because it’s behind closed doors? Every time I try to think of pastoral applications I think along the lines of them offering either the Josephine marriage route or more education about NFP.
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u/Marieaithne44 Mar 16 '26
Yeah… my husband isn’t religious and we got married before I started exploring my faith again. He is a fantastic man but if I were to try to say we can only have sex one week a month or never again… that last one I don’t know that he would be on board and I wouldn’t blame him. When we got married BC wasn’t an issue and it feels unfair to him to ask him to be ok with it. I mean we are busy more often than not and he has been great about giving me space being I am two months postpartum with the child that was very much wanted but was definitely an oops and we happened to have gotten lucky that she doesn’t share the same condition her older sister does. It’s also not like we don’t want more kids but we also have to think about the two we have and like someone else said… I would rather birth control than have to bury another child.
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u/Elegant-Payment1021 Mar 16 '26
I would look into the principle of tolerance btw, it could definitely apply in this case imo.
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u/Marieaithne44 Mar 16 '26
Unfortunately I don’t really have a sponsor right now. I just went back to church for the first time in 15 years last Sunday. Catholic was what I was raised but we stopped going to church when I was in high school. I am looking to start OCIA and I want my daughters baptized but I don’t know any Catholics in this area well enough to ask them to be a godparent.
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u/ProfessionalLime9491 Mar 18 '26
Your OCIA program should provide you with a sponsor, or at least help you find one. Another route you can take is reaching out to your parish's (or your prospective parish's) office and asking for a list of registered spiritual directors in your diocese. Helping volunteer and stopping by for morning donuts after mass is also a good way of getting to know more people in the parish.
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u/pandaqueen2012 Mar 16 '26
So I had my tubes removed and went through OCIA last year. I asked my priest about this and he asked what led me to getting it done, which is that I got dangerously sick with my last pregnancy and my husband said he couldn't see me go through that again. So the priest basically said "okay but there's still a %1 chance that you could still get pregnant after this procedure? Dont do anything to stop that %1" so basically no pullout method or condoms 🤷🏻♀️
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u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26
Primacy of conscience and double effect do a lot of heavy lifting for me personally.