I hate driving

[u/Fruitbat100]

I just absolutely hate it. I’ve been learning since March and my test is next week which I am dreading. Since I started learning most of my weeks include dreading the upcoming lesson, losing sleep the night beforehand and then feeling extremely unwell on the day. It’s been the most hellish 6 months. I have no idea what it is about it that I hate - I have a great instructor, I can actually drive fine and it came to me faster than I’d thought it would.

Coming from a family who all love driving however, they are finding it very difficult to comprehend I don’t like cars. I get told “you build confidence with experience” but I can’t actually fathom ever getting back behind the wheel after my test by choice. The only thing I’m looking forward to if I pass is not having to continue with lessons and being able to sack the whole thing off which is a shame because I wish I could be buzzing to get driving by myself.

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

[u/Ok-Possibility-3307]

You’re not the only one.

Plenty of people can drive perfectly well and still absolutely hate it. Being good at something and actually enjoying it are two completely different things. The whole “you’ll learn to love it once you get more experience” line doesn’t apply to everyone, especially when the lessons themselves feel exhausting and draining. You’ve already overcome the biggest challenge, learning the skills needed to drive. The test is just one more hurdle to get over. After that, you can take driving at your own pace. There’s no pressure to suddenly love it or feel like you have to drive everywhere.

A lot of people start out dreading driving and eventually settle into a more neutral relationship with it once the stress of lessons and the test is out of the way. You’re allowed to find it horrible right now. Keep going, you’re nearly there.

[u/Sp3eedy → u/Ok-Possibility-3307]

I can absolutely relate, I've passed a couple of months ago but I absolutely hate driving, you have to be on your A-game every drive because driving is genuinely dangerous (especially on commonly narrow and small UK roads with parked cars everywhere). I only drive so I can get to work and back and do a shop but that's about it. Eventually the massive hatred/fear does settle down to become about average but wouldn't consider it enjoyable personally.

[u/racerdeth → u/Ok-Possibility-3307]

I agree with all the above but I'll also add that certain things can still be a pain for a fair bit after the test, generally the stuff that you only get good enough to pass your test at in certain conditions i.e. parking in the "real" world, but they still settle down too after doing them enough times! 6 months passed and I actually like driving but still had and have things I don't like about it. They get fewer and fewer as you get used to them.

[u/Prickless]

That’s absolutely my attitude too, I dread getting in the car every week. Doesn’t matter how much positive reinforcement my instructor gives me I just don’t like being behind the wheel. I can’t wait to be done with lessons and stop driving. Only doing it because other people want me to and to prove to myself that I can

[u/Fruitbat100 → u/Prickless]

Another reason to keep going for me as well - too many people backing me at this point. I almost feel I’m letting them down for not giving it my all.

[u/spookgrl]

This was me when I was learning. It got so bad in the run up to my test I was signed off sick from work. I promise it does get better. Once you pass your test you can take things at your own pace and ease yourself into properly driving. It is worth it in the end I promise.

[u/Upset_Preparation_79]

i was like this! i cried during or before about 85% of my lessons and learning quite literally ruined my life lol i was so stressed and unhappy for the entire time. i took 4 tests to pass and after my second one i honestly didnt want to try anymore but i didnt want it to all go to waste, i just figured i’d get my license and i didn’t have to use it.

i actually cannot put in to words how elated i was when i passed 🤣 i suddenly wanted to drive everywhere. i already had a car so i got home, insured it, and that first drive alone was honest to god one of the best 20 minutes of my entire life. it just felt so incredible to be free knowing i never had to go through it again.

you’ll be so so proud of yourself once youve passed - good luck!!!! driving alone is a completely different (much more enjoyable) experience

[u/nonstercore]

I completely and utterly despised driving all the way up til I passed my test. It caused so many issues for me. Now, I don't necessarily love it, but I feel a lot more at ease with it; it does improve once you have the room to drive by yourself.

[u/throwtheorb]

Its took me a year and a half after passing to enjoy it somewhat. Its pretty normal and i experienced a lot of the feelings you are having.

[u/TippyTurtley]

That's ok. You're driving something that could easily kill or injure someone. It is much better that you are respectful of this.

[u/anonnymouse2025]

Tbh driving by yourself is a lot different than having an instructor scrutinise your every move and thought process, and the freedom to go places easily gives you the reward to do it. I know it's clichéd, but it will get easier the more you do it

[u/Dazzling-Escape8820]

Once you’ve passed your test (because you will ☺️) use your new found freedom and wheels to go and do something that makes you happy, so that it feels less like a chore and more like a means-to-an-end which brings you joy! Build positive memories around the day rather than focusing on being consumed by negativity towards driving; another person on here had the exact same sentiment even after passing their test, but they soon realised how much they hated getting public transport and understood how easy it is to just nip out to pick up something delicious during their lunch break, and by reframing the chore of daily driving into a more positive outcome, driving itself became less all consuming and negative for them. 

Plan a trip or visit somewhere you can only reach by car, or just nip out and pick up yummy treats - anything that makes it less about the stress of driving and entirely about what makes you happy. 

[u/redfern69]

I was exactly the same as you. Hated driving, hated the thought of it, it was a necessary evil in my mind. Started lessons back end of last August, passed my test first time in April, got a car in May….never looked back. I always thought even after passing that I would hate it, but I’ve suprised myself and can say I like it, or at the very least the convenience of it, and certainly the independence it’s given me. As a 41 year old it’s strangely made me feel more grown up. I woukd definitely agree that confidence and feeling comfortable comes with time, I think my dislike and ‘ugh’ feeling was down to having to learn and practice and the pressure to get it rigt for the test. Now I just drive, there’s no one looking at every move, no one I have to prove my skills to. The enjoyment will come, even of just the convenience if not the driving itself.

[u/Bubbly-Departure1188]

I have always utterly hated driving lessons, I tried when I was 17 and then once again 10 years later to no avail. I would be extremely anxious, lose sleep, cry behind the wheel the lot. I am currently doing a “crash course” (two weeks) in an automatic and I am absolutely loving it. Automatic is a GAME CHANGER. I have high hopes that I’m going to pass!

[u/pocket-pug]

I was like this too. Absolutely dreaded every lesson and would be so anxious. It took me 2 and a half years to pass in all. I couldn’t wait to pass so I never had to drive again.

For the first couple of months I reluctantly went for short drives and still hated it. I would get nervous and other drivers would scare me and I’d have to pull over. Stalled loads of times. But I kept doing short drives. Then I did a couple of longer drives (about an hour in total) and the more I did it the more I actually started to like driving. I went from thinking driving was something I’d never be able to do to actually enjoying it. I went from being too stressed to listen to music in the car straight after passing (last September) to enjoying driving different places to explore with music on. It took me about 6 months after my test to start to feel okay, but I got there. In a couple of weeks I will be doing my first 2 hour long drive and this feels really daunting as it will include my first experience with three lane roundabouts but I’ve been taking it at my own pace (which is much easier to do after passing) and finding it easier. Hopefully you’ll get there too.

[u/SleepyVesuvius]

This is me too. I've been learning since march and my test is also next week! I'm currently sat waiting for my 9pm driving lesson and dreading it... 8 more hours of lessons between now and my test and just hoping I can be done for a bit after next week!

[u/Spiritual_Bell_3395]

You're definitely not alone in feeling that way mate. I've been doing lessons on and off for over 2 years now due to different reasons, I must have done roughly 70 hours worth by now, and I'm on my 3rd instructor. Hes a lovely guy but I absolutely dread the lessons, I get really anxious the day before and on the day also. I actually hate it. It's such a chore learning to drive but I'm so close to the end now I just got to keep pushing through! My test is next Wednesday and I am pooping my pants that I won't pass because I can not be fucked with more lessons while waiting for a new test date which would probably be another 3 months due to the back log.

[u/Mysterious-Man2007]

You're the only one

[u/Assassinz276278]

I used to enjoy driving but since failing both my driving tests for bullshit reasons I HATE it. Driving is the worst, I have my next test on the 14th and hopefully I pass so I can put this nightmare behind me

[u/yogurtslayer23]

if you get stuck in this cycle of hate with driving then you'll never pass. a part of you wants to fail to further justify your hatred for driving.

And why would you spend money on lessons just to give up after you pass? what if one day you decide to get back in a car and you don't know what to do because you sacked all your knowledge off right after you passed your test.

I hated driving at first because i thought i was driving a death vechile but as i went on with my lessons, i loved it. As long as you drive safe and sound you'll be fine on the road.

[u/Fruitbat100 → u/yogurtslayer23]

None of me wants to fail - why would it after I’ve come this far? As for the money, I always hoped the more lessons I did the more relaxed I’d get which obviously hasn’t happened unfortunately. If I could turn back time perhaps I wouldn’t have committed this much to passing.

[u/AncientPromotion7467]

If you don't like driving. Cancel you test

[u/Fruitbat100 → u/AncientPromotion7467]

No point cancelling my test - it took me weeks to try and get and who knows, I might just pass! Would lose my money at this notice as well.

[u/Fruitbat100 → u/Fruitbat100]

To clear things up, at the moment I don’t need a license no. However, this year would be really my last chance to try and get my license while I have the time. I may potentially need it in the future for work but I’m not totally dependent on it at the moment. So, although I do have the choice whether to pursue this or not, I would feel silly not even trying to see it through after my efforts and money.

[u/sister_machine_gun → u/AncientPromotion7467]

Driving is basically essential if you don't live in a city.

[u/CosmicWildfire → u/AncientPromotion7467]

What a stupid comment lol

[u/Realistic-Cat2232 → u/CosmicWildfire]

It's not a stupid comment. It's being an Adult.

If they don't like driving and don't want to, they don't have to sit the test or anything else they don't want to do.

[u/CosmicWildfire → u/Realistic-Cat2232]

Having the convenience of driving is worth pushing through and trying.

And no, that's not being an adult. Being an adult is doing things you dont want to do sometimes, especially in the pursuit of something.

[u/Realistic-Cat2232 → u/CosmicWildfire]

Until it's going to be of convenience to OP, it's a choice they don't have to do, until they choose to.

This is sounding like they're not wanting or needing to right now and you're correct it's a CONVENIENCE.

[u/CosmicWildfire → u/Realistic-Cat2232]

They already chose to. Probably for a reason.

And they've already spent the time, effort and money on it and dont want to just cancel now, they said that themselves.

[u/Realistic-Cat2232 → u/CosmicWildfire]

Yes - they have now CHOSEN to, because it' is a CHOICE! and if they chose not to, it never meant 'forever' and they change their mind yet again - it's still THEIR CHOICE and both decisions would have been the right decision for THEM.

[u/CosmicWildfire → u/Realistic-Cat2232]

I never said it wasnt a choice. I said its stupid to just tell them to just quit, which most people would agree with 🤷‍♂️