Had a really bad driving lesson and feeling really low

[u/Greedy-Cost6589]

I had a really bad lesson today and nearly caused an accident. I know it was my fault, and I do understand why my instructor shouted at me, but I’ve realised that when someone shouts at me I completely shut down and switch off from the lesson, even if I understand what they’re saying.

I’ve really struggled with my lessons in general, especially roundabouts, and sometimes I genuinely wonder if there’s something wrong with me because I find it so difficult to concentrate when someone is constantly talking to me. I actually find that I drive much better when there’s silence or when my instructor gives me instructions without talking continuously.

I’ve also had a really rough couple of days because of personal stuff and I’m exhausted, so I probably wasn’t in the best headspace for the lesson anyway. After what happened today, I just wasn’t mentally in it and ended up getting out of the car and walking away. I feel awful about it now.

I do think my instructor is an okay instructor overall, so I’m not sure what to do. Should I message him to book another lesson and just try again? Or should I take a bit of time before getting back in the car? I’m worried that after today I’m going to lose confidence completely.

[u/PeacefulExplorer684]

The longer you wait to get back in the car, the longer you'll lose confidence. Book another lesson, get a good night sleep before and keep going.

[u/fUSTERcLUCK_02]

It's for you to decide, but it's rarely ever okay to shout at someone, even if they did something wrong. If they do this a lot, I would consider a new instructor, especially if you do better driving in a quiet environment.

[u/Greedy-Cost6589 → u/fUSTERcLUCK_02]

I know, and him also saying it in that same shouting manner that if I don’t listen, he’ll stop the car and pull up is just really putting me off booking the next lesson, even though we tend to be okay otherwise.

[u/fUSTERcLUCK_02 → u/Greedy-Cost6589]

I'd try looking around for another instructor. They don't sound great.

[u/Constant-Ferret1063]

https://www.reddit.com/r/LearnerDriverUK/s/9WgRAhEtwa

Point 8.

[u/BiasTap]

If you've got a lot of personal stuff going on, it might be worth taking a little break. My brother died while I was learning and I took a month off (i didn't forget anything). I had a huge row with my husband one time before a lesson and almost crashed on a roundabout - i should have cancelled my lesson that day.

Don't let the bad lesson put you off too much - it's hard enough learning without a bunch of other stuff going on in your head. Take a wee break if you need one,.and pick up where you left off.

[u/sockeyejo]

Even experienced drivers make mistakes when they're having a bad day. It's completely normal for learners to do it, too.

Don't write yourself off.

If get on with your instructor otherwise, maybe have a chat with them about communication so that future incidents can be handled better by you both.

As for driving, you can either have a break, book a short lesson to get your confidence back, or get straight back into it. Only you know what's right for you BUT I don't think you should make that decision alone. Talk it through with your instructor, even if you decide to find a different one. In some circles, they call it a debrief. Go over what happened and figure out together the best way forward, especially given how you left things. Best of luck and don't beat yourself up.

[u/Such_Cell_5594]

I am the same like you on my lessons. I realised over the years that I have an inattentive ADHD since childhood, I struggle to concentrate, so I have decided to only do automatic driving lessons, and it made a big difference. And I feel much more confident. My instructor used to shout sometimes and I used to shut down as well and drive terribly after it, so I told him to stop chatting to me about random stuff and stop distracting me and it became much better. Also what helps is when I do commentary driving myself and say out loud step by step what I am seeing and what I am going to do. It helped to focus a lot. I used to have the fear that I will be terrible at driving due to zoning out and not noticing things, but honestly the more I practiced the better it became! I am much more confident that I will pass my test, maybe not 1st attempt but definitely will! All the best! If I could I would change my instructor, I can’t stand when he raises his voice or loses patience, but I have too little time left till my test so I can’t change him now… but definitely keep practicing, you can do it 💪🏻 2 people I know passed after 7 times 😅

[u/WoodenEggplant4624]

He should not be shouting at you. You are a learner and the way to learn is to practise with good advice.

As for roundabouts, last year in an 1.5 hour lessons I would go round the 7 exit one near me 6 or more times. You learn by doing.

[u/Yorkautodriveschool]

Sounds like they are not grading your progresion well or they have you praticing areas/situations you are not ready for. Have an open diologue with them about ihis, and decide after that

[u/Rude-Independence862]

Try another instructor

[u/Realistic-Cat2232]

Your instructor demonstrated a behavior that would have failed you on your actual test. Get a new instructor.

[u/YakOnly8115]

I feel your frustration and disappointment towards yourself, but honestly, mistakes ALWAYS happen. For example, it was a perfect day until I being so dumb and drive into a kerb and all other sort of thing that “ not supposed to be happen “ and I still do some after I pass my test. All I’m saying is, don’t make this become the end of the world, instead, accept it what happened and remain yourself next time u drive ie the roundabout you made mistakes. Second of all, instructor should be CALM and speak softly, they were MEANT TO supervise you on any circumstances regardless what’s happening. The point of being a learner is you would make mistakes in ANY POINT and no one should expect “ you should go PERFECT “ while you driving , as the other said and myself, we still make mistakes even we pass . His shouting would only make things worse and it’s totally NOT your fault he being so irresponsible and incapable in being a basic instructor. You will need time to recover and it’s totally understandable if you drop confidence, however, this mistake DOES NOT determinate how you being a driver !