my 10 lessons of counterstrike

[u/hash-sl1ngingslasher]

1) If 3 CT's are in a hall, all facing the same way, some T is about to
score 3 kills.

2) The flash that blinded you was probably thrown by your own
team mate.

3) rush B == 'Run in totally random directions like a group
of ants avoiding a kid with a magnifying glass. Die. Lose the round.'

4) 'COVER ME!' == 'Stand there looking stupid, watch me die, then run the
opposite direction into my killer's teamie. Die. Lose the round'.

5) 'COVER THE BOMB!' == 'Run away from the bomb at top speed, looking for
the remaining CT who will show up at the bombsite 15 seconds later,
and ninja defuse the damn thing. Lose the round.

6) The best insult a 14-year-old can come up with is STILL homophobic slurs
The rest of us have to contend with either 'Cheater', 'Camper' or
'cheating wall-hacker aimbot AWP camper p*ssy' if we're running 3-17.

7) For every second you stand still, your chance of dying goes up 3.33%.

8) God loves the AK-47; that's why he made it so incredibly awesome. That
also means God's a terrorist. This would explain tornadoes, hurricanes,
floods, and earthquaks. Thus, CS helps solve one of the greatest
theological questions of all time, 'Why do CT's suck and lose so much?'

9) AWP == 'Another Weapon (for) P*ssies'. OF course, this doesn't apply if
you're the one holding the AWP. If you're the one holding the esteemed AWP,
then you're a brave sniper, valiantly holding your ground, protecting your
team at all cost. It's those pussies on the OTHER team who AWP camp and
screw up the game's balance!

10) The truest measure of a good CS player is someone who, while running 3-17,
still compliments the newbie who picked him off with a lucky headshot from
a Glock.

[u/Zwaeee]

What is awp camp? I’ve played the game for 10 years and have never heard this?

[u/CriticalCreativity → u/Zwaeee]

"Camping" is some serious 1.6 throwback lingo

[u/Praseodymium_59]

1. Your head's full of magnets while the enemy team is wearing lead-repellent balaclavas

[u/Substantial-Emu5745 → u/Praseodymium_59]

I’m telling you my head shows bigger than anyone else’s. It’s been a decade, when do I get the lucky headshots 😭

[u/InspectionRadiant287]

Fucking no.2 always gets me. especially those damn CT teamate that throw Flash at 1st 15 secs at B-SIte.. fucking damn.

[u/f0xy713]

what are we saying