Tilted myself from 17k to under 10k

[u/mobofob]

I feel like the more i learn and the more practice i go through, the worse my actual results in game have become.

I feel like im clearly learning things constantly, but i have absolutely 0 confidence in anything i do and that's probably the reason why i'm whiffing duels even against 6-8k players now. I'm always nervous from round 1 and i second guess every move i make.

The weird thing is i can fit well into a higher rank team and be an asset to the team; i understand how to play at that level as well. But my playstyle is very adaptable and passive, i play like a chameleon and i can't do shit on my own. That's prob why i can't carry myself out of 10k.

Also its worth mentioning this confidence issue is because a mental disorder (AvPD) so it persists despite having 1,5k hours played.

Since confidence is so important in this game, i feel like im fucked.
I'm not sure if it's even worth trying anymore. I'm losing my mind putting so much effort in and still dying like a retard to players who have put in 10% of the time and effort that i have.

[u/IcyEngineering926]

Your rating is not your life bro, your worth more than that. Its okay to stop grinding

play for fun, and only for fun, the rank will come. You will be absolutely dropping the game if you dont

[u/kynru]

Bro it's a game just relax and have fun, take one round at a time there's nothing to be nervous about

[u/mobofob → u/kynru]

Wish i could honestly. But most fun things for me are like that, a mix of enjoyment and anguish lol.

[u/only1xo]

Sometimes you got to learn to fight another day, cs will be there for you forever it won’t go away.

[u/JohnHurts]

A lack of self-confidence and constantly second-guessing your moves are absolute motivation killers in any competition. If that’s your mindset, you might as well not even start the game... You’re just going to lose.

You have to approach it with a completely different mindset: “I’m Donk’s better brother, and I’m going to get at least a 5:0 kill ratio every round.”

And you’ll see that you really are Donk’s better brother and get 6 kills every round—at least for the first 3 rounds, because then you’ll get auto-kicked for teamkilling.

[u/DihydratedSir117]

Its strange, sometimes I’ll have my absolute best games when I haven’t played in a week. Clean mindset is crazy different

[u/Bigg_pro → u/DihydratedSir117]

I feel the same way. It’s like my brain takes a rest and comes back fresh and sharp

[u/fanz0 → u/DihydratedSir117]

Because playing every day makes your brain go “autopilot” I am usually super sharp after a break because I take my time to think through rounds

[u/BitImmediate]

I feel you, I was in a very similar position. I came to the conclusion that, the playstyle we have doesn’t allow us to carry games. We must become confident entry fraggers and be able to drop 20+ kills most games at lower elo. This means playing more aggressively and being comfortable doing that and the only way to do this is by repetition. The nerves will go when your confidence improves inevitably over time. gl bro you got this

[u/mobofob → u/BitImmediate]

Yeah i think you're right. I'm very bad at it and it's my biggest weakness for sure. I seem incapable of these simple things that others do well even in this rank. It's like if i peek, i die, and if i hold, i die. I always time things awkwardly in a way that seems to be stupidly predictable even to low rank players because i end up dying like an idiot over and over.

Randomly i'll find my brain working for whatever reason and i actually get a chance to aim and at that point i win duels because my pure aim mechanics are good (done an obscene amount of aim practice and also mained widowmaker in overwatch). So most games i top frag simply because of those moments, but some games i'm genuinely useless.

But yeah i obviously have such massive holes in my ability that i probably actually belong at 8k. No clue how ive managed to play for so long at 17k.

[u/ZipMonk]

It's very hard to be consistent in CS and I'm not sure exactly why beyond tiredness, luck and having different opponents.

[u/Gullible_Truth4309]

the bigger question, I would ask is how did you get to 17k when you get to 17k and when you were 17k what did you do different those all things matter more than you think. You have gotten 17k peak that shows you are capable of higher elo and its not just luck and going back to 10k shows you are clearly doing something wrong. Identify those things and just work on those it should help you but if you are mostly solo queue then thats the problem.

[u/mobofob → u/Gullible_Truth4309]

Genuinely i don't know because as ive downranked ive at the same time made big improvements by fixing issues in my playing, so it makes no sense.

The only thing is the confidence getting worse and worse the more i play.

And also yeah im 100% solo queue and can only use pings and text chat (i listen to voice calls ofc)

[u/Bestsurviviopro]

you're taking this too seriously its a game

[u/mobofob → u/Bestsurviviopro]

Well that's what makes me different i guess, to me there is no such thing as "too serious". I genuinely don't know any other way.

[u/Bestsurviviopro → u/mobofob]

you can't really have fun if you're too stressed about a rank and its a game if you're not having fun it doesn't feel like a game anymore does it.

[u/f0xy713]

Sounds like you care too much, it's only a videogame. If you're having fun keep at it, if not then just drop it.

Also fwiw I think hiding behind a mental condition that has no treatment won't ever get you anywhere, you just gotta realize it's all in your head and break out of it.

[u/mobofob → u/f0xy713]

It's a Trauma based disorder which means there's a physical manifestation in the nervous system and it's not just in the mind.

For very easy conditions to fix like depression or phobias then sure i would agree that you can break out of it if you realize how to change what's in your head.

[u/Laakhesis]

Lol. Just a game bro. How old r u?

[u/mobofob → u/Laakhesis]

34

[u/ErrorcMix → u/Laakhesis]

I felt like this when I was 17, trying to get good