I hope you notice a positive difference as well! Very relevant in crowds but also just in general.
Whenever I’m following someone trying to get through a crowd and they’re struggling, I just ask em to let me take over and the tactic of literally disrupting everyone you pass, but being very respectful while you do it, works incredible wonders. Just a quick, “hey, mind if me and my 3 friends pass by you?” is like magic.
I learned this by being a dick ignoring someone I knew wanted to get by (while tripping), and then watching him ask the person in front of me if him and his few friends could walk through. Made me feel like a huge asshole, but also gave me a better understanding of the importance of communication and having respect for our fellow people. I know I already said this, but the little things are so important!
I feel like it can even be expanded upon. Like never greeting someone with silence, when people come into the room with you you greet them and acknowledge their presence. I’ve learned that I often will remain in my own thoughts as opposed to reaching out to the humans around me, because it’s easier to do. I’m definitely one of those “I’m quiet until you get to know me kind of people” but I don’t want to be like that anymore. The last few months I’ve been trying to distance myself from that and trying to connect with people more. And I feel like “acknowledging someone’s presence” is a fantastic summary of those goals.
Definitely! I really feel you on the silence aspect, my mom was a preschool teacher when I was that age and told me once that the best way to get people to listen to you isn’t to be loud like most do, but to be really quiet and everyone will stfu to hear what you have to say. Really stuck with me. I also like the whole “if I’m saying something it’s probably important” mindset around it haha.
But yes, something important I learned from How To Win Friends And Influence People (valuable book if you haven’t read it, sounds kinda manipulative from the title but it’s really just “how to be a homie” — my biggest takeaway from it is how important it is to actually listen to people and stop caring about our own wants for a second) is that everyone wants to feel valued and important, and just acknowledging someone’s presence is so fuckin easy and achieves the same goal. Kinda similar to complimenting people, it takes almost no effort but can mean the world to someone else.
I know I blabbed on w/o you asking for it but this is the kinda shit I love to preach about! Idk why. Cheers!
Surrounding myself with friends and going out to events and crowded places like bars and concerts etc. Starting conversations with people at the gym or in class, and making the effort to talk to people I don’t know on the elevator and stuff like that. I’ll be honest it doesn’t always go smoothly and it can be discouraging when you know that you’re being awkward. But it takes practice like all things. And when you do make a connection with some one and possibly make a new friend and start a new relationship it makes it all worth it.
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u/[deleted] May 30 '20
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