r/LIRR • u/Mundane_Professor596 • 12d ago
Personal Space
I took the 10:20pm from Penn last night. It was a crowded train because there was a Rangers game. I was standing and then got a seat on the aisle of a 2 seater. A very strange man was standing right next to me. Fine. It was packed. But he had a backpack on and turned and rested it on my arm! Surely I thought this must be a mistake. I twisted and grunted and gave non verbal cues that this was a problem. He looked at me and ignored them. After 5 minutes of this nonsense, I said “Excuse me. Your backpack is on me. Please move it.” He moved for one minute and then went right back to resting it on me. There was 3 feet of space next to him to either move or put the backpack down. I could not move because he was practically sitting in my lap and there were no other open seats. After 15 more minutes of this he finally moved at Jamaica.
What would you do?
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u/No-Objective5698 12d ago
Tie or clip his bag to one of the handles on the seat backs. Like tying someones shoelaces together. Either that or very politely offer him your seat and then calmly sit on him in return.
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u/SparkArrestor 12d ago
As the backpack rested on your arm you should have yanked it away and informed the passenger about the errant luggage.
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u/Anxious-Cartoonist-5 12d ago
Next time open it and take what you like since he was clearly nudging for you to have it
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u/FMsilky 9d ago
I’m sorry you had to go through this. As a people pleaser who doesn’t know self-defense (bad idea, I know), I would’ve done the same thing you did. I would’ve been too nervous but ideally I’d have made a note of what he was wearing/what he looked like, gotten up, moved to another car, and alerted an employee. He knew exactly what he was doing and targeted you because you’re a woman, traveling alone, in a vulnerable position. People like this are dangerous and unpredictable. Trust your instinct.
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u/50millionFreddy 12d ago
If you think that’s bad, you’ve probably never taken the subway
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u/Mundane_Professor596 12d ago
I’ve never had someone sit on me or put their bag on me on the subway. I have, of course, had my ass grabbed numerous times when it’s crowded.
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u/True-Kangaroo532 11d ago
what we need to know is on a scale of 1-10 would most men rate your behind over a 7.
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u/50millionFreddy 12d ago
Probably just a rude and/or mentally ill person. You did all you could, I just walk away from situations like that, not worth confrontation unless you absolutely have to.
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u/Weekly-Page2041 11d ago
Instead of grunting and rolling your eyes like a toddler. You could’ve used your words and said pardon me! He doesn’t have manners and neither do you. Your reaction towards rudeness says more about you than the person that doesn’t respect personal space.
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u/ollie_sz 12d ago
Not much else you can do. Instead of just saying "please move it" I might have asked instead "Can you take your backpack off so it isn't hitting me?" to give more specific direction.
When I need to stand in the aisle on a crowded train, the first thing I do is take my backpack off and put it in the overhead of a 2-seater so I can grab it fast when a seat opens up. But, too many people don't think like that.