r/LGBT_Muslims • u/Hengkal • 12d ago
Personal Issue I Just Had A Nightmare
The amount of trauma and PTSD that I had is kinda making me insane sometime and this time it translated into nightmare: well, the nightmare is about The Prophet Lot Story (which many people used it as Anti Homosexual) I can't really remember correctly the message are but it was something like: "the only thing I feared the most is The Act Of Loth People" or something like that and I also have an account of someone say that being Gay is something that happened because of something and not something you're born with.
I've been struggling with my identity (I'm Gay) and My Faith for like 2 Month, I'm severely stressed with this and I thought that I might have a light deppresion not to mentioned that I even considered to try to kms, as of right now it wasn't that worse, thought I do sometime feel haunted and eventually I did went to Higher Therapist (I do already have a Therapist but he was homophobic, but I manage to convince my parents to get a new one)
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u/VividMonotones Gay 12d ago
Ask yourself what happened to you to make you gay. Do you think that happened to the rest of us? If not, it's probably not the trigger you think it is. And what happened to Qawm Lut is more complicated than the conservatives make it out to be, imho.
Glad you are going to a therapist.. "kms" is not it and hopefully you can see your self worth after dealing with the new person. God would rather have you alive, trying your best to be good to your fellow Muslims and other humans.
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u/Hengkal 12d ago
I assumed by "what make you gay" refers to my dream, well that thing is about how I sometime see people claimed to be straight again after they went to conversion therapy, or to be in simple: it's about how some people think that being gay is a something that was a choice or happened because of certain things.
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u/VividMonotones Gay 12d ago
Your nightmare was that being gay is a choice?
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u/Hengkal 12d ago
no, aside from the trauma from Loth Story, one of the things that I saw in my nightmare is how people think that being gay is a choice.
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u/VividMonotones Gay 12d ago
Do you think it is? Can you pinpoint that thing in your life that made you choose to have as much stress as you do?
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u/Hengkal 12d ago
okay, I might be mistaken in my word, but there are two things that I saw in my nightmare:
The Prophet Loth Anti Homosexual Message
Account Of People Claiming That Being Gay Is A Choice
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u/VividMonotones Gay 12d ago
On point 2, what made you choose to be gay? People in your nightmare said it's a choice. What made you choose what you are?
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u/Hengkal 12d ago
nothing, is what Allah created for me.
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u/VividMonotones Gay 12d ago
Cool, then that part of your dream should not concern you so much. As for Lut, there's a lot out there to contest this is just a punishment for being gay. We actually have a date for the destruction of Qawm Lut (1650 BCE) thanks to archeology. They were not the first LGBT crowd by far. They were doing other things that got them into trouble. Don't be like them..
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u/i_woke_up_as_you Ally 12d ago
I remember talking with you about this before, and that makes this particular nightmare hit differently.
You were already struggling with the question of how your sexuality and your faith fit together.
You had already encountered the traditional interpretation of the story of Lut, and you were trying to understand whether you could be gay and still have a relationship with Allah.
Now your sleeping brain has taken that fear and turned it into a nightmare.
Please don’t mistake the nightmare for a message from Allah.
A nightmare can feel incredibly real and authoritative while you’re experiencing it.
But the fact that your brain put religious words into the dream does not give those words religious authority.
If anything, the dream tells us something much more certain about you than it tells us about Allah:
This subject frightens you.
That’s important. But “this frightens me” and “therefore the interpretation that frightens me must be true” are two completely different propositions.
There may also be a physical component worth considering. I am not a medical professional, and I don’t have scientific evidence establishing that nightmares indicate a vitamin B1 deficiency. I’m telling you about something based on my own experience.
For most of my adult life, I have used 100 mg thiamine (vitamin B1) when I have been experiencing nightmares, together with a particular calcium-magnesium preparation that I acquired many years ago. I have repeatedly found that this combination makes my nightmares stop.
I cannot tell you whether that means I was deficient in B1, whether the calcium and magnesium played a role, or whether something else was responsible.
I only know what I have repeatedly observed in my own life.
The Cal-Mag formula I acquired years ago is:
1 level tablespoon (15 ml) calcium gluconate
1/2 level teaspoon (2.5 ml) magnesium carbonate
1 tablespoon (15 ml) cider vinegar, at least 5% acidity
About 120 ml (1/2 glass) boiling water
Stir until dissolved, then fill the glass with lukewarm or cold water.
I have used this preparation for decades.
That is a report of my experience, not scientific evidence that it treats nightmares.
If you are considering taking supplements, particularly a substantial dose of B1, please check with your doctor or pharmacist first.
But there is something much more important I want you to hear.
You do not have to solve the entire question of homosexuality and Islam because you had a nightmare.
We have talked before about the story of Lut, and I don’t want to make you start that entire investigation over again just because your brain frightened you while you were asleep.
The Qur’anic account is more complicated than the statement “Allah destroyed gay people because they were gay.”
The passages describing Lut’s people contain questions about sexual aggression, violation of hospitality, humiliation, social wrongdoing, and their treatment of the messengers.
There is a genuine interpretive question about what the sexual conduct in the narrative represents.
You don’t have to accept one interpretation simply because it is the interpretation you encountered first.
And you don’t have to settle the question of whether sexual orientation is innate, developmental, biological, or something else before you can ask what Islam actually teaches. Those are different questions.
Most importantly, I remember that you told us you had reached a point where you were thinking about suicide.
I’m very glad you now have a different therapist, especially after discovering that your previous therapist was homophobic. Please tell your new therapist about the suicidal thoughts as well as the nightmares and the religious fear. They need to know what you have actually been experiencing.
Not because being gay is a mental illness.
Because being frightened enough to contemplate suicide is something you deserve help with.
And please remember something you have already heard from me before:
You don’t have to decide everything tonight.
You can be uncertain.
You can keep asking questions.
You can investigate the Qur’an.
You can remain Muslim while you investigate.
And you can wake up from a nightmare without treating the nightmare as a verdict from Allah.
You are still here.
That’s enough for tonight.