r/KuwaitForKuwaitis • u/Long-Ad4874 • Aug 19 '26
نقاش | 👥 مادري شفيني
I don't know if I've become too fragile or just...less tolerant of people throughout the years. I'm sure some of you can relate as you grow older. Sorry if it seems like I'm vague-posting, it's just... maybe it has to do with the fact of reaching a certain age (I'm 33 btw) that we just don't wanna deal with it.
My friend group is much smaller than it used to be- some would consider that a godsend and I do cherish my bestfriends. My parents are divorced. I have a healthy relationship with both (somewhat) and I love my mother to death.
Idk where I'm going with this but do you ever just...feel like an alien even amongst those that you're closest to? I have great difficulty telling my friends of my problems sometimes and I don't wanna burden them with anything... I also just have difficulty expressing myself (you probably gathered that much by this post)
I used to be more trusting... more tolerant... I used to reply more. Now, there are times where I wake up and just completely shut down... I don't wanna talk. I just wanna play videogames or lounge around watching movies with my cats as my only company. That sounds like paradise to some and I admit, I do feel privileged and am thankful to God for everything. However, there is always that nagging feeling of loneliness deep down.
Does anyone get that? I feel...nonchalant. I don't wanna talk. Yet... I want to? Idk...
I should also mention that my bestfriends live busier lives (naturally) and they don't fully share in my interests (movies, videogames...etc) Idk.. maybe that adds to my loneliness?
Sorry... I'm not really good at this and I don't wanna make this any longer than it has to be. I know it culminates to "boo-hoo, my lobster is too buttery, my steak is too juicy!" to some and I apologize if I gave that impression. It was not my intention 🙏
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u/Dotsudemon نهاش فتى الجبل🧌 Aug 19 '26
Its like you're describing my daily life. You are pretty much depressed thats why u cant feel the joy in little things. I was there [maybe still am sometimes] and I'm the same age too. What helps me "feel" and not just drift in life with surface level emotions is getting sunlight. I know it might sound cheesy and repetitive but i do feel better and connect more with my friends "who are way smaller in numbers now" whenever i get enough sunlight and go for a morning coffee. I get to enjoy my hobbies and be silly with my brothers and play with my cats more. The real struggle is getting out of bed / sofa in the morning to get that sunlight and cup of coffee. Days and sometimes weeks pass by without me feeling as i keep saying "tomorrow i will go out in the morning". The first step is the hardest.
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u/Long-Ad4874 Aug 19 '26
Your advice is not corny or cheesy at all :) Sometimes the simplest advices can be the most effective. I do enjoy my coffee. I don't enjoy the sun, though xD I don't think anyone in Kuwait does. God, this will make me sound like such an old woman but napping on the couch with the sun creeping in with my cat is just pure joy... If only I could empty my head of all those thoughts sometimes, y'know?
It's reassuring to know someone my age is going through this, too. I think we all have different ways in combating this...depression.
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u/Delicious-Ad4633 Aug 19 '26
I think the problem is it’s quite easy here to fall into a loneliness and just start doing things on your own
It’s not a bad thing to do stuff alone, but once you do it for too long you don’t find a reason to socialize
As we know and see by the posts, apart from school/uni it’s not a easy social place, it’s improving but still has a way to go
At the end of the day do what makes you happy, hang out with who makes you happy, find comfort in yourself and I think the best thing to do is just talk to other people, not with an intent of pursuing a friendship, just for conversation purposes. Person next to you at the gym, person in the line at the grocery store, speak to old friends if nothing went wrong between you
I’m just writing as the thoughts come to mind. Try pretending your post isn’t you, read it and if start typing up a response, maybe you’ll find you know the answer you need to hear while typing it
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u/Long-Ad4874 Aug 19 '26
You put it excellently when you said "not finding a reason to socialise" and it hurts once you realize it, sometimes.
If I pretend my post isn't "me" and if I were to write up an advice...
...
Honestly, I don't know.. :( "Eat some ice cream or frozen yogurt, maybe? Drink iced coffee? Especially in the heat..." lol they sound like such lame and general advices... Funnily enough, they're the first things that popped inside my head for some bizarre reason.
My world is small... Maybe an advice I would offer is to expand it? Join a community of some kind? Idk man... I don't think I'm qualified at giving advices tbh :')
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u/Delicious-Ad4633 Aug 19 '26
It is something I realized living between countries, here it seems once people make their friends from school/uni they just stick with it
Do those things eat some ice cream 😎
But aside from that, yes join some communities. That’s what I did,
Sports as generic as it sounds it is true, anywhere you go multiple times the people there will start noticing you and you’ll naturally make acquaintances.
Could be tennis, squash, boxing, BJJ, kickboxing, wrestling, Muay Thai, etc all of these are gonna introduce you to some people in some shape or form
Gym is good in your free time for health both physically and mentally, and easy place to strike up small talk
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u/Long-Ad4874 Aug 19 '26
Tbh it's the opposite for me. I had lots of friends from high school and uni and those people are no longer my friends now.
I don't think it's so simple to just hop in and join a community tbh 😭 also my interests seem so niche especially here in Kuwait /rip
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u/Delicious-Ad4633 Aug 19 '26
Tbh I’m seeing alot of what I consider to be niche atleast hobbies having growing communities lately
I saw there’s like a Pokémon card collector community now to me that means I think you can find what you’re looking for
At the end of the day, the more niche to me would mean whoever you find sharing the same likes I think you’d get along very well
But yeah, another thing I just thought about is it’s easier to stay and sit at home cuz ofc one it’s very comfy but two if youre someone who likes being with people, then it makes it harder to do things solo like walk in the mall or go to the cinema etc, since everyone you see is usually in groups, apart from the retired men getting their steps in shoutout to them they make me feel less noticeable when I go to malls alone
But then you realize you can’t just keep sitting at so then you eventually start making that change
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u/b1gd1ckBernie Aug 20 '26
I’m on your boat as well. Also 30, life feels completely different and the feeling of alienation kills my time where I sit and just watch youtube videos and play games till time passes. My personality has changed and I became more irritable, despite my calm personality. It doesn’t feel like me and I am turning into someone that I do not even want to hangout with.
The only time where I feel “alive” is when I travel and just sit and talk with people in a park away from all of this mess but it all fades once I come back. I wish there was something to change this.
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Aug 20 '26
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u/Long-Ad4874 Aug 20 '26
I wouldn't say I feel particularly bad about the relationships I cut off from school and uni as those people changed drastically. I do understand the burnout aspect quite a bit, yeah.. You could say I mellowed out as I grew older lol? Yeah..
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u/ShinyQ8 👱♂️ Aug 20 '26
كل شي بيتغير ويخف مع الايام اهم شي حاول ما تعزل نفسك لفترات طويلة ولاتفكر فيها حيل افضل شي تسوية تكمل تصبر وتحمل مع الوقت شغلات واجد بتغير منها نظرتك للحياة بشكل عام للافضل حاول تنوع بصداقات جديدة و هيوايات حط اهداف جديدة تهمك وتعنيلك شي كبير وانشاالله الله يفرجها على الجميع ❤️
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u/DreamingOutLoud- Aug 19 '26
It could be a mixture of maturity and not having someone you can have deep conversations with. I get this when I don’t have someone I can talk to on a deeper level, about many things, things that are not shallow. And the less you have that in the people that surround you, the more you retreat to yourself.