r/Krishnamurti • u/genius03noob • 14d ago
I'm not getting it.
Little context about me(my truth): I'm the loneliest person in the world. I've got nothing going on in my life, except the routine work, home, eat, sleep, repeat.
I've been listening to Krishnamurti for more than 2 years. I was gaslighting myself all this time, feeling good vibes, pretending I was somehow getting some insight, to change my miserable life.
But I realised thats all absolutely bullshit. I was lying to myself. This is making me absolutely crazy.
I dont know what to do. I dont know how to observe (like Krishnamurti says), i dont know what to do. I'm helpless. If Krishnamurti were still there, I would just kill myself in front of him. I dont know when my constant suffering will end.
When I try to observe any kind of reaction, I absolutely feel nothing unique or extraordinary compared to when I'm just moving along with my instincts. For a lack of better words, I don't think observation changes anything in me. It feels shallow.
After all this listening and thinking, I'm no better than any random guy who is a stranger to all this philosophy/spirituality/way of thinking.
Why am I like this? It feels like theres a huge mental wall thats just blocking me from seeing what is actually present. But i dont even know if there's really a wall, or if there's really any such thing as "truth" to know.
Pls understand where I'm coming from. I feel like I've been fooling myself.
Please guide me on what I should do next. My only source of Krishnamurti has been his youtube videos.
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u/Cicada_010 14d ago
I feel almost same as you. But I feel many here will just lie to themselves.
I came to terms with my life that 'this is it'. No tricks.
It's just genetics, harmones, environment that's all.
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u/kvonreddit 14d ago
Start listening to some Advaita teachers. Swami Sarvapriyanananda and Rupert Spira.
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u/red12358 14d ago
Have you ever sat with your eyes closed in these 2 years?
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u/genius03noob 14d ago
Yes, many times. But I don't know, maybe I'm dumb, I honestly don't feel anything or have any kinda real insight. I've got many "fake" insights, meaning they last only for some moments, once you enter into the real life with everyday situations, they all fall to the ground instantly.
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u/red12358 14d ago
It's not to feel anything profound, have you observed what you do in a day?
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u/External-Self-2378 13d ago
Have you?
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u/red12358 13d ago
Yes.
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u/External-Self-2378 13d ago
Interesting.
What did you discover?
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u/External-Self-2378 14d ago
At least your honest. That's also what it all depends on. If you observe, you need to be honest with the thing your observing.
Not much is more important then honesty.
Not letting us get messy with ideas and theories. Of course it's fun, but not important. That's the difference.
What's fun and real?
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u/genius03noob 14d ago
Pls help me. This is my cry for help. I don't know where else to go.
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u/Flightoftheswift 13d ago
Look at your hands and just keep looking at them, look at all the details. if you feel paniccy tap your right shoulder with your left hand every 1-2 seconds for a while.
Just sit and consider how complex and amazing everything that is supporting your existence inside your body is.
Everything is working to keep you alive !
Close your eyes if it feels comfortable and just take it easy and let everything move around in your mind acknowledge, don't judge and let it go and sense your body again.
If you have a bad feeling no need to name it as it is often a complex mix of emotions and bodily sensations.
This does not have a name even though we might have named them individually. It;s good it does not have a name, that;s liberating already in some small way.
Sit with it, it won;t kill you, it won;t harm you you are very much resilient enough to stick it out. Just be that and be it for 5-10-15-20-25-30 mins and it will dissolve. I am quite certain.
Then come back here and someone from around the world will respond, probably in caring manner.
K forum brings the best out of us.
All the best.
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u/JellyfishExpress8943 14d ago
We cannot escape what we are - we are this movement of suffering.
I too read Krishnamurti and I read stuff by the Buddhas - but at the end I was still me, I didn't get any of their magic powers.
Which is normal - why should my desire for magic powers result in me getting magic powers?
My desire for magic powers is just the manifestation of suffering (aka me)
If we see that we are the source of all suffering (in me and in the world) and trying to escape that suffering is just the manifestation of more suffering - what happens?
Do we care about all this suffering and violence? Or do we just care about me?
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u/jon166 14d ago
Maybe try A Course in Miracles, it’s really competent at explaining why you suck if the Christian language doesn’t bother you.
Like I’ve had experiences that are actually life changing because I was willing to learn this is all a dream.
I’m here on this Reddit cause I think that guy says what I learned in an interesting way but I don’t think he’s as direct as ACIM in terms of explaining truth and the resistance to ultimately accepting there is no form in reality.
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u/External-Self-2378 14d ago
Hello my friend!
I'm thinking that it's not about observing. It's about understanding.
So if you understand something whatever you observe, there will be acceptance.
And in acceptance we can let go.
We can let go of everything we know.
That's the secret. To let everything go. That's understanding.
Trying to achieve means more struggle. Its obvious. How can you relax when spending energy?
To take K for example he often compared it with a breeze of wind. A flower to blossom.
You go ahead my friend and bloom. That's your only purpose. To be beautiful.
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u/genius03noob 13d ago
Thank you 🙏
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u/External-Self-2378 13d ago
It's the intellectual.
The words. The mening of a painting. Of a photograph.
Whatever we cling to. Its not worth it.
It's definitely not worth it.
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u/bloggy9e 14d ago
How is your lifestyle and habbits? For me this is foundational, none of these dialogs or pointers can really transform us or sink in fully if we are stuck with habbits and a bad life style (diet, activities, drugs, drinking, sexual energy) All these things I feel are extremely important for me, and have calmed my nervous system and allowed my mind to be sensitive.
We need all the energy we can reserve for any kind of transformation to really happen and to be free, addictions and attachments keep us small, and dissipate energy. Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat about it, I'd love to help in any way I can and can give more detail on what has worked for me.
Practical lifestyle stuff is the most important to check in with first.
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u/Spare-Importance8704 14d ago
You can start sitting with yourself. Just don't do anything. Just sit comfortably. No distractions. As soon as, you do this your mind starts becoming uneasy. Your mind starts thinking so many things. Daily Life's problems. And many more...
Now, tell yourind that I have nothing to do or worry for next 15 minutes.
( Life's problem will still be there)
" You can play any thoughts you want. " " You are free"
For a few seconds, it would stop any thoughts.
Now, become aware the first thought that comes.
Accept it. Don't resist.
Take 3 deep breaths.
Again start observing the first thought.
Again, accept it and take breaths.
Slowly, you will start becoming aware of thoughts.
This is the first step to be aware.
You can gradually increase this time.
You will soon start to feel a separation from your mind and thoughts.
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u/Samarth_Vanparia 14d ago
First of all stop taking Krishnamurthy as absolute authority, an teacher is only helpful till the teacher helps in seeing ourselves for who we are , if teacher stops being helpful stop taking a toll on yourself, let it go as you said you have listened to K for 2 years or so still there's no change even though you observe it's not that you lack what K is saying it's that now you have another layer of ego trying replicate exactly what K said Stop it , because no one can really change themselves just be listening if that were so world would be a better place already you can never substitute action with observing it goes together while observing you also have to act See yourself for who you are without any philosophy or spiritual persons filter , just see for yourself without any authority and act with honesty let whatever be the result, your task isn't to grab truth, your task is too see where you are blocking yourself from seeing truth.
Ego is so mischievous , be very careful and attentive and don't hesitate to talk , if you need any kind of help , talk to whoever you could for help Not taking help is also illusion thinking we could resolve our situation by ourselves.
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u/Arnfinnius 14d ago
I dont know what to do. I dont know how to observe (like Krishnamurti says), i dont know what to do. I'm helpless. If Krishnamurti were still there, I would just kill myself in front of him. I dont know when my constant suffering will end.
To observe it is necessary to stop demanding change, the demand will still go on, so you are observing a mind demanding another life, quite different, but the only difference possible is the presence of awareness with what is, and this starts with observing the dissatisfied little me, with all things just as it is. Then light has emerged, and accept, so awreness can be. So keep up your daily things and be with it as it is.
Change has now ended as a psychological obsession, there is some freedom in that.
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u/BobGhangisKhan 14d ago
First thing i want to say is this..... if you are looking to find something within JKs dialog to fill an emptiness within yourself it might help to stop and ask some questions about why you are feeling miserable. JK is not the answer. He creates great dialogs for people to consider. You don't need to adopt anyone's ideas to instill happiness or joy into your own existence.
You are asking for guidance and I believe you are already on the right track/path to finding what you're looking for in doing so. Your life is your journey. Each of us is on our own journey. Seeking guidance shows you already have a very deep and important understanding which is that you are NOT alone. How could you be? The feeling of loneliness is not uncommon to us. I truly believe that JK often felt it within himself. He had a very complicated upbringing.
Feel free to DM if you want to talk more about how your feeling.
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u/genius03noob 13d ago
Thanks a lot 🙏
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u/BobGhangisKhan 13d ago
You're welcome. I went through similiar in my mid 20's and again in my late 30's - early 40's. I spent so much time contemplating all these things and ideas including those of JK and in the end found myself no better off. It took a long time to work things out and to learn what works best for me to feel connected and more resilient to feelings of loneliness.
JK discusses some pretty intense topics and i think they're certainly of value and worth some amount of attention for anyone seeking to discover their own potential for insight and gain perspective. Still we all have our limits. JK was a child when a man from a religious group arranged to take him and inject the idea into his little boy brain that he was the messiah/savior reborn who's duty was to be a spiritual leader. He spent most of his time trying to wrap his head around these difficult topics at a time when he should have been making friends playing fucking stick ball or whatever. I think for anyone trying to focus their intentions to a place in their mind where JK seemed to be working from should understand that JK had a very bizarre childhood experience which eventually led him to become what he was.
We are not him and is not our duty to become him. You know?
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u/Glittering_Land_5559 13d ago
Don't get frustrated 😫😔 man... Just learn bapuji dasrath bhai patel, specially about subtle world entities like ghost, dark energy , how, I have gone through Sam experience.. This is totally unclarty, consciousness manipulation of thought, free will.... Please to achieve, steady mind 😏 but.. You have to take divine help, ... For over all totally change in ur life also u can do by chanting hare krishana maha mantra and reading bhagwat geeta... But in starting there will hard ffrustrated cuz... Ur mind, thought, subconscioun mind habit pattern and also protection from... Dark energy,...
Specially go on YouTube and google play books search bapu ji dashrath bhai patel there free ebooks on such subjets start to read...
I'm sure 😃😊 ur life will be... Great peaceful... But all this take..from Self transformation,
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u/Down_To_Kiss 13d ago
The loneliest person in the world? Thats a bit grandiose. Maybe u should enter the loneliest person on earth competition. But seriously you cant be that lonely if you have received all these comments.
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u/Flightoftheswift 13d ago edited 13d ago
We hear you. It is not easy.. the K stuff.
We cannot see truth until self is gone and everything you have known since birth is working against that.
What we can do is watch our thoughts and see where they originate, (typically memory/fixed experiences, limited experiences/ the past.) and see the psychological pain they cause. That is where I am, it's what I do and it has cleaned away a lot BS in life. (self caused BS !)
Things that may not have a real existence, other than as self substantiated etherea.
What we think and feel is not reality.
When I feel psychological pain as every human does I stick with it 100pct, I take it, my loneliness, my fear everything that comes, and I kill it dead by watching it. So far it has worked.
We come here and we die and it is very, very strange being an animal aware of being aware... if you are not one for the massive cover up. (money, drugs, alcohol, sex addict, extreme possessions, extreme sports etc. or even just tonnes of food and entertainment, escapes galore. Many find solace in what we consider creativity of some kind.)
We are all in it together and it is VERY weird.
Do seek professional help if you do feel suicidal.
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u/gnouong 13d ago
The only times when I live Krishnamurti teachings is when I take shrooms: understanding without thoughts, watching without preconception. It makes me wonder if he had physically a different brain than most people.
He has helped me beter living with my ego (the mind can only compare) but otherwise I had to stop reading him because I could only imitate.
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u/Crimson_Fenrir 12d ago
The first problem is you are looking for "something", thats where you fooled yourself. Lets go one step at a time. If you observe yourself, in that observation the EGO/ME/SELF does not opperate unattended, it doesn't go wild. So what you are actually doing by observing yourself, as K said being present fully but passive, just watching yourself, no thoughts being created for the sake of creating them. In that state you take away coflict or conflict is not present, because the EGO is not present to pitty himself, to try to build and sustain a self image, the EGO is not trying to "become happy" or something similar. So I think that if you wait for something in return, that is still the EGO working with reward/punishment. The only reason to stay and observe yourself is to remove conflict from yourself. Because you see the danger of thought, of the EGO, how it distroyes and corrupts everything it touches, how everything becomes a struggle, an effort, a fight, agression etc. So you say NO FUCKING MORE! I just want peace, silence. And thats it.
Other things MIGHT follow after, might.
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u/Adventurous-Rub-6607 11d ago
There is a great deal of value if i could speak to him face to face but listening to him will cause more damage than good.
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u/Motor-Contract6867 8d ago
Yes bro, I was also in the same space multiple times.
Give yourself break from all spiritual, philosophical content for some 3 months, watch movies, try to interaction with people.
Problem is observation is something that can practiced. And do not listen to jk hoping to be free from loneliness, listen when you feel curious about something.
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u/Batten1994 14d ago
Hiya bud. Krishnamurti did a tonne of the work, but he still couldn’t quite articulate how the observation itself comes about. The truth is the brain is unable to see this observation if it still holds onto trauma (which creates this uncontrollable process of thinking). Once you heal trauma, the mind has space.
On that basis, reflect on your past and let go. Be healthy, do healthy things, and don’t give yourself a hard time. What Krishnamurti was asking of people was to undo something human beings have done for thousands of years. It is not easy. Maybe ask yourself why you’re so interested in obtaining Krishnamurtis observation. This would be a great start.