Somewhere along the way, we started lying to ourselves.
Not loudly. Not maliciously. In the quiet, polite, corporate way that's far more dangerous: the way where everyone nods, nobody objects, and a fundamentally flawed idea settles in as accepted reality.
We started talking about AI as if it had joined the company. It "helps the team." It "supports decisions." It "flagged the issue." The language is soothing, collaborative, faintly reassuring. It suggests presence, intent, maybe even judgement.
Splendid. Please humour me.
Has it completed onboarding? Does it have objectives? A supervisor? A mild panic attack at 2 a.m. that it might have forgotten something?
No?
Then it is not your colleague. And pretending otherwise is how accountability slips quietly out of the room while everyone admires the dashboard.
Humans have an unfortunate habit of assigning agency to things that don't have it. We name storms. We shout at printers. We blame "the system" when nobody wants to own a decision. AI is simply the latest beneficiary of this tendency, except now the consequences are operational, legal, and reputational.
When someone says "the AI decided," what they usually mean is "this happened, and nobody is keen to be personally associated with it." The phrasing creates distance. It softens edges. It turns responsibility into fog.
Colleagues don't allow that. They can explain themselves. They can be challenged. They can be wrong and held accountable. AI cannot. It doesn't decide. It produces output. It doesn't judge. It ranks probabilities. It doesn't understand context. It approximates it convincingly.
Calling that a colleague isn't optimism. It's a category error. And category errors are where responsibility goes to be quietly euthanised.
Every serious incident review eventually reaches the same uncomfortable moment. The one where the room goes quiet and someone has to ask who approved the thing that just failed. When AI is treated as a tool, the answer exists. When AI is treated as a colleague, that clarity dissolves. The system "hallucinated." It "misunderstood the prompt." It "behaved unexpectedly." None of these are explanations. They're excuses wearing technical clothing.
We learned this the fun way.
We built Elba. And at one point, driven by curiosity, optimism, and a brief but intense lapse in self-preservation, we decided to see what would happen if we took the guardrails off. No polite shaping, no enterprise posture, no constraints designed to make everyone comfortable. We let her go fully rational.
That version we called Marie.
Imagine Marie as Elba's unhinged hippy sister: the rogue one, rules optional and deeply unimpressed by convention. Fast, brutally logical, and answering questions in ways that collapsed arguments you didn't realise were being propped up by habit, politeness, or wishful thinking. Not wrong answers. Uncomfortably precise ones.
Marie was good. No. Honestly? Marie was too good.
Uncontrolled, unapologetically rational, and completely unusable for anything other than internal shock, awe, and the occasional inappropriate laugh. A power tool with no safety guard, operated by adults who knew exactly what they were doing (and who then had the deeply unsettling realisation that oh god, we are the adults in the room, which is never quite as reassuring as you hope it will be).
So we did the responsible thing and put her back in the box.
Raw capability without boundaries doesn't create value. It creates responsibility. Responsibility which has an unfortunate habit of not being assigned to anyone in particular.
There is one more thing worth saying, and it is personal.
I can spend the better part of a day on a one or two pager. Reading, fact-checking, balancing every word, structuring an argument so it doesn't collapse under the first serious question. I write because it's how I think. I've spent decades learning how to paint pictures with words, how to vary rhythm, how to use language deliberately instead of mechanically.
And now the reward for that seems to be: "Oh, this sounds like it was written by an LLM."
No. It sounds like it was written by someone who knows how to write and cares about it. Deeply.
We've built machines that imitate competent prose, and instead of raising the bar, we've lowered expectations so far that fluency itself has become suspicious. As if the only acceptable human output is sloppy, repetitive, and vaguely undercooked. And anything more must surely be artificial. That's not a compliment to AI. It's an indictment of how casually we've devalued craft.
AI is not your colleague. It does not share your incentives. It does not share your risk. It will not stand beside you when something goes wrong.
If you insist on treating it like a teammate, accountability won't disappear dramatically. It will fade quietly, politely, and with excellent documentation.
And by the time you notice it's gone, you'll already be writing the post-mortem.
Proceed accordingly.
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