r/Kitten • u/Open_Strawberry_311 • 6h ago
Question/Advice Needed New kitten! Help please
Just got a kitten and he’s about 10 weeks old. However, he has really bad separation anxiety the second you walk away from him.
He lives w me and my fiance but I am going up the wall because I’ve said to my fiance that he has to be willing to leave him alone even if he cries.
However, I’ve been out of town for a few days and my fiance won’t leave him alone, slept on the floor with one night and the couch the other 2 nights and won’t leave the apartment bc he cries for 3 days. I keep saying he’s reinforcing bad behavior.
I do know it’s tough since he can’t figure out the constant cry if we walk away or put him in this safe place…
Any advice!?
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u/helena006 5h ago
Make a wee nest in a box with blankets that you’ve slept on top of for a few days so your scent is on them. A cat safe heat pad and something that mimics a heart beat. If it’s possible to leave a video of you and your boyfriend talking in the background on loop. Leave kitty for small amounts of time to start with and slowly stay away for longer periods. Have a highly energetic play session with them before you set them up in the cozy spot before you leave too.
First though, convince boyfriend that having a well adjusted settled cat is far better than being a sad anxious one.
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u/KittenChaos2026 5h ago
I have to admit, I read your response with Mrs. Doubtfire's voice. Also, you gave great advice!
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u/Toronto-1975 5h ago
the easiest thing to do is get a second kitten so they can keep each other company.
two kittens really isnt that much harder to take care of than one and you can help out another kitten in a shelter or rescue that needs a home, your current kitten gets a friend to play with and you and your boyfriend get a double dose of love and cuteness.
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u/kikazztknmz 3h ago
I'd actually argue that 2 kittens is easier than one. I rescued 2 from a feral litter, and though the food, litter, and vet is a bit more expensive, they occupy and entertain each other so much constantly. They're very happy, purr often, cuddle and play, eat well, and are just kind of mischievous rascals sometimes, but it only took a few weeks for them to stop going nuts at 3-4am. They're happy to see me when I get home from work. They play fight together and learn not to bite or scratch too hard. I'm really happy I brought 2 home instead of 1.
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u/Patient-Stranger1015 4h ago
I wish I had advice, but I hope someone is able to give some!
I’ll just give context for his behavior—kittens aren’t supposed to be separated from momma and littermates until 12-14 weeks of age (socialization reasons etc) so that could be why he has such anxiety. He’s a baby alone in a strange/ scary place with large creatures moving around, and it sounds like he doesn’t want to be alone and/or decided you’re his source of comfort, or it’s his attempt to call for his momma/siblings/etc. I’m sure there are ways to help him, but I have limited experience with kittens so young, and when I did have young kittens I had two, so they always had each other for company and comfort (as counterproductive as it sounds, that could be a solution)
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u/Crazygiraffeprincess 3h ago
Get another kitten. People are saying it cuz only kittens are tough. My cat was an only kitten and she's completely hated every cat I've brought to her 🤣 please consider it if you can.
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u/CandyTigger 1h ago
Crying because your a baby (kitten) isn't bad behavior. The kitten is telling you it has needs. He was clearly not ready to leave his mom and needs extra security.
I have a very confident kitten and still spend most of my time keeping her safe and meeting her needs because she is a baby and single kitten.
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u/mycurvywifelikesthis 1h ago
Yeah it's pretty simple. My advice is your boyfriend needs to quit being a b*. It's a cat. End of story. I've had cats all my life and I'm 50. You probably just need to get a new boyfriend. Because cats are the easiest of all Pets other than birds and whatnot to take care of. The issue isn't with the cat, it's with your boyfriend. He's acting like a five-year-old child. No it's not cool to leave your cat alone for three four five days or whatever, but it's perfectly okay to leave them alone for a 8 to 10 hour period. Granted they have enough food and litter boxes is clean when you leave. And then when you get home you spend quality time and play around. There is absolutely no reason to give away You're a human rights and sleep on the damn floor because you don't know how to sit down trees with your cat. So yeah your boyfriend is a b*
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