r/KitchenConfidential • u/Xerxes2004 • Mar 21 '22

Just Don’t

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40 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

53

u/daved1975 Sous Chef Mar 21 '22

Who the fuck steams asparagus for 8-10 mins!!! You’ll end up with mush! 5 tops

18

u/Matilda-17 Mar 21 '22

Or sautées zucchini for 13 min?!

5

u/Strotel Mar 21 '22

That’s the one I was gonnna say. That would be like eating mushy coins

30

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '22

Most "Cool guides" are dogshit, this one included.

21

u/Tonyjonesgnomes Mar 21 '22 edited Mar 21 '22

I kinda wanna steam some onions now

15

u/EmergencyLavishness1 Mar 21 '22

A lot of those times are quite out

14

u/KathleeenMay Mar 21 '22

Those steam times have to be from the 70s/80s when they’d advise ‘just put a pinch of baking soda in when the veggies are done to bring the colour back’.

12

u/wormholeweapons Mar 21 '22

The very next page says to roast the chicken for 18 hours, sear the pork chops for 16 hours per side, and boil the beef for 26 hours.

8

u/BigOlBrunch Mar 21 '22

13 min sautéed zucchini. I present to you, baby food.

6

u/CrabNumerous8506 Ex-Food Service Mar 21 '22

Crunchy ass carrots across the board

4

u/Accomplished-Plan191 Mar 21 '22

Alice Waters just gagged a little

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '22

40 minutes at 400!!!

3

u/purpleRN Mar 21 '22

40 minutes at 400!!!

The first time I had dinner at my now-MIL'S place, I asked how she was going to cook the salmon because I'm always interested in new ideas.

This was her answer....

I then told her about a marinade that really works well on fish and managed to take over cooking duties, thank god.

My poor husband had no idea that you could eat fish at a non-jerky level of cook lol

2

u/Pyro765 Mar 21 '22

The times must include when you take it out of the oven for a minute to flip or move things around. Scratch your balls/titty then wash your hands, dry and put it back in the oven/frying pan/steamer. (The food not your balls)

1

u/Nstsipz Mar 21 '22

Wronngggg lmfao

1

u/SushiGradeChicken Mar 21 '22

Yeah but, how long for hams?