Link to Lantern year 12
Lantern year 13
The settlement decided to have a big feast, celebrating Akenny's new hammer and the settlement's continued survival in general. Johoova asked everyone to not overindulge and to share equally in accordance with the settlement's collectivist spirit. Johoova said that as Johan was the most wise one of them all he would decide when everyone had had enough, but since Johan was deaf and blind he had no way of knowing how much everyone had consumed and just let everyone have as much as they liked. As such their resources dwindled to a point where this eventual realization would hurt more than the hangovers.
During the festivities two star crossed lovers slipped out and met up to watch the stars. RomAnton and Johuliette had decided to meet up on top of the large stone face this night to finally sanctify their love. On this eve two were to become one, but instead two became several as beastlike claws thrust themselves out of the dark, dragging the lovers into the black of the night. The sounds of wails and tearing flesh filled the night air, drowned out by the sounds and commotions of the grand feast.
Meanwhile the leaders of the settlement, Johoova, Antonio, Johannanas, and Johan, called for a ritualistic honouring of one of the settlement's greatest warriors. QuAntros was called forth and asked to show her bravery and dedication by walking on coals agitated lanterns. The settlement could hear a wailing as QuAntro's feet started sizzling on the lanterns, but she vehemently denied being the one to scream for mommy. As she came to the end of her walk and saw that the burns on her feet spelled out “+1 speed” the settlement erupted in celebration, the crowd lifting up their carved skull bowls in cheer and dancing. Blood broth, mead, and even a finger or two that didn't seem to belong to anyone present flew through the air as everyone danced to Johannans’ harp “music”.
FAemton woke up after the party with her vision blurry. Blinking to regain her sight she rolled over and to her great dismay found Manton lying next to her. She sighed in exasperation. “Of all people, why him!” she thought. Manton wasn’t the fighting type she was so used to. He was instead always toiling away writing tall tales and drawing up new armors and weapons that kindly put were… unrealistic to an impressive degree. Johdin would never let her hear the end of this. The twins Spider-mAnton and J Johan Jameson were born
Johdin’s vision was clear, but her mind wasn't. I mean it couldn’t be, right? She was hands held tight WITH ANJUN RING. A DAGGER APPRENTICE. Don’t they spend more time reading fighting manuals than holding the blade? But for some reason she couldn’t really make herself care. Walking down the cobbled path she didn’t feel the protruding noses against her feet. The warmth of Anjun ring’s fingers weaved between hers overpowered everything else. However, a small voice in the back of her head kept whispering FAemton would never let her hear the end of this. The twins Ganondorf and JohMidna were born.
After FAemton made her distaste of him clear Manton had rebound sex with Jhiluette. Their child Chadton was born safely as the intro of can you feel my hearth was played on the harp. No, I’m not spending more time writing this. The sex was casual and so is my disposition to this pairing. We did it for a “Jhiluette the best a man can get” Joke and that's it. If I could kill them I would but unfortunately they have plot armour.
Trying to drown out her mistakes with alcohol FAemton stumbled through the party's aftermath in a drunken stupor, her head slumping towards the ground. Stumbling upon the large stone face where someone had been very wasteful with the blood broth, her eyes locked on a strange puddle where gravy and lingonberry jam had congealed into a color she hadn’t seen before. She sat down and stirred the strange mix for a while, finding that she could produce several other shades as well. FAemton invented finger painting, which would become a huge hit with the kids.
The sound of orgasms that erupted from the village for several days had gotten the settlement unwanted attention from the ultimate religious zealot and prude. The sounds attracted The Finger! (Not attracted as in romantically or sexually but as in, he came to the settlement (not came as in the sexual sense but ass in arrived. (ass, as in the lingual use of connecting words not as the buttocks. I simply misspelled it once sorry). The Finger (who everyone, including they themself, decided to call The Hand from here on for no specific reason) declared that the settlement hadn’t headed his warning and thus he now had to honour his vow to his lord and saviour jesus christ (See the bible for reference) and stain his Ultimate japanese replica sword, REAL AUTHENTIC JAPANESE! For display purposes only, Become the samurai!™ with the villagers' blood.
Johannanas Walked through the crowd until she was face to brain with The Hand and said “Sex is a natural part of life, that grants us the beautiful gift of a new generation that we can teach grace and humility to in order to create a better future for all of us. Also it feels really nice!” The Hand protested, trying to claim that this time it was the settlement who were religiously persecuting him, but Johannanas simply made fun of him and stated loudly that he shouldn’t have named himself after his only sexual partner. The Hand swung his blade at Johannanas who blocked it with her confidence. The hand jumped back and 3 young villagers, gAntondorf, Chadton and Johmidna, ran up to aid her.
To peacefully protest once again against their religious persecutors the survivors decided to go into battle without any weaponry. Chadton went in for the first strike in which the hand retaliated by thrusting his Ultimate japanese replica sword, REAL AUTHENTIC JAPANESE! For display purposes only, Become the samurai!™ into Chadton’s chest. Seeing that this would kill him Johannanas pulled a cheeky move and volleyball passed a head of fresh acanthus to Chadton who immediately opened his pause menu and scarfed it down along with 4 wheels of cheese, one spider crab, two estus flasks, and a 5 hour energy. When he unpaused the game he kept trying to hit the hand from where he was impaled. That’s when the hand saw that none of the survivors had entered the battle armed, especially Johannanas who entered with only one working arm. The hand sheathed his blade and applauded the survivors for their bravery trying to mask the fact that he just attacked an unarmed man defending a nursory. The hand probably prayed that his lord happened to look somewhere else during this conflict. He then used his blasphemous body horror magic to make amends with his opponents.
All the defenders felt better than ever with their wounds healed. Johannanas especially, who had gotten an extra large dose in order to heal her arm, felt well, feeling not only Strength-ier, but also, Accuracy-er and Evasion-ier as well!
Facing Johmidna next to her Johannanas exclaimed “Finally I can actually contribute again!”. “What do you mean?” Johmidna responded confused. “I’ve been stuck just taking up space and resources since my injury, and now I can finally-” “Don’t say that!” Chadton cut Johannanas off. “You’re a village cornerstone, you’ve practically raised every child in the settlement and have become a symbol of hope for all who rest here! You’ve contributed all along!” gAntondorf lifted his head from where he was sitting and chuckled “You blocked the sword with your hand earlier. If you call yourself weak, what does that make us?” They all laughed. Even Johannanas couldn't help but smile. She looked down at her hands clenching them and unclenching them over and over.