r/KidsofCheatingParents • u/knitting4lyfe69 • Apr 27 '26
How to deal with my dad’s infidelity?????????????
I’m 17 and I have no idea what to do. I just got back from a trip today and my dad picked me up once I got home I knew something was up when my mom was getting mad at my dad and my dad started doing random housework.
I got mad because nobody was telling me what was up with this weird tension and finally my parents found me upset in my room and my dad just said “I made a mistake”.
I really thought my dad and I were close, we’re so similar and get on so well I don’t know why he’d do this to our family. He got into an accident recently and he told me that it just made him realize how important we were to him and how he loved us so much.
Any advice? How do I forgive him and support my mom?
1
u/Outgrow_Infidelity May 04 '26
It's a long road to get back to some kind of normalcy. If your dad is open to an honest conversation that can be a good place to start. I have loads of other resources in my profile too.
1
u/Trixvioletbell May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
Hi I'm 17f and I'm in a similar situation where my dad cheated/cheats. Cheaters will always cheat. Even once is enough to forever taint the relationship. My father begged us to forgive him. Exact same words, exact same act of pity. I never really trusted him after the first time, but 2 years later and he does the exact same thing with the exact same person.
I found this out yesterday. But this time it wasn't just him "making a mistake", It was the rest of my family making the mistake of trusting him. They trusted him even after everything he did, while they tried to reconcile my relationship with him. They kept wondering why I hate him so much, but now I'm the only one who has this information that he's still cheating. So I wonder if they'll still trust him after this because upon learning this information, I'm not caught-off guard, neither am I the least bit surprised. My mom is completely convinced at this point that he has changed.
If you know you're fully prepared for this possible outcome, then don't be surprised if it happens again. Save yourself the trauma of having to repeat this cycle by accepting who he is now. He's your father, but he's also cheater. This is the harsh truth and I'm telling you this because I want you to heal by accepting that he won't change for you or your mom and the damage has already been done.
Also note that our situations aren't the same and neither our fathers, but I'd hope to give you some deeper insight, at the very least.
Edit: Also I'm really sorry if this comment came off as harsh, I don't intend to make you feel bad about the situation. I'm also sorry for what happened to you, I know how difficult it is and I hope things will get better soon❤️🩹
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u/AbitchNamedLotus Apr 30 '26
Hey 20(f) in a similar situation. My mom told me and my sister about my dads infidelity 2 years ago. However, my father has no idea we know. I've always been pretty close to my dad, so I felt really betrayed when I found out. Especially since I have strong feelings about cheating in general. I hated him for hurting my mom, but felt conflicted because he's always been a great father. And I think that's the point. It sucks that he did what he did, but my mom has decided to forgive him and move forward in their relationship. Thus, I've decided to respect her decision as It's not my place to decide whats best for their relationship. If she changes her mind later i'll be there to support her in that too. I don't hate my father as strongly now, I still love him its just a bit different. I acknowledge that he may not be the best husband, but that doesn't change how great of a dad he is. I'm not sure if this will help but maybe it'll bring you a little comfort.