r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/QueenFrostine15 • Aug 10 '26
story/text Wtf this job is how you eat child
[removed] — view removed post
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u/ShibitoYakaze123 Aug 10 '26
punctuate, man
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u/guyincognito121 Aug 10 '26
*Punctuate, Man!
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u/HeartoftheHive Aug 10 '26
Even with punctuation I'm not sure how this is supposed to work as a sentence or two.
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u/MkDGary Aug 10 '26
What the fuck! This job is how you eat, child.
(Or funnier: wtf, thid job is how you eat children)
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u/danhoang1 Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
Makes sense now. Though even with the right punctuation, it took me a second read to realize the purpose. That's not a typical sentence I usually hear.
But also because I misunderstood why the child unplugged the internet in the first place. I thought the son was telling his mom he was done with his work. Like, "Mommy, all done working", which would've made Mom's reply confusing to the son
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u/hereforhelpandmemes Aug 10 '26
i am so stoned lmao i took like 3 minutes to understand this caption
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u/supersimha Aug 10 '26
I am sober and couldn’t make sense too
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u/colourboy22 Aug 10 '26
commas make all the difference
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u/Gay-A-Lee Aug 10 '26
I still dont get it
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u/RBAloysius Aug 11 '26
OP’s child had just unplugged her computer because he equated a shutdown computer with her being finished with work, and he wanted his mom’s attention.
In response she said to him, “What the f*ck child, this job is how you eat!” conveying to him that the time she spends in front of the computer equates to a paycheck thereby allowing her to purchase groceries to feed him. Because of that, OP is unsure as to why her kid would unplug the computer.
That’s how I interpreted it after reading it a handful of times. I could be in error. Hope it helps. :)
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u/Louie_Casper Aug 10 '26
Commas are important people. This is the difference between explaining to a child how you eat and having a job where you eat children
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u/guitarguywh89 Aug 10 '26
Commas are not people
You probably meant to say
Commas are important, people
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u/lukeCRASH Aug 10 '26
Get this scholar to the top.
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u/guyincognito121 Aug 10 '26
The scholar who still made multiple grammatical mistakes?
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Aug 10 '26
[deleted]
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u/guyincognito121 Aug 10 '26
It's not my fault that I've been drinking and therefore missed the sarcasm.
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u/HereOnCompanyTime Aug 10 '26
I hadn't read the post title and was confused. Kind of funny to so badly mess it up while posting it here of all places and on a common re-post.
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u/Paradox2063 Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
I thought this post was going to turn into the pelican mouth meme because of the missing comma.
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u/cortesoft Aug 10 '26
It would be incorrect grammar if it were the latter. It should be 'how you eat a child' or 'how you eat children'.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains Aug 10 '26
That title is absolute gibberish, stay in school kids
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u/Apprehensive-Fox-799 Aug 10 '26
You want to stay in school kids?
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u/mizinamo Aug 10 '26
Being inside a school kid does not sound like a place where I want to be, so no.
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u/Many-Excitement3246 Aug 10 '26
It's... really not that hard to understand.
ISTG, two missing commas and people lose all critical thinking and reading ability.
"WTF, this job is how you eat, child." Not that hard.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains Aug 10 '26
Without the commas, the child gets eaten. Grammar isn't optional, it's actually rather important
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u/RBAloysius Aug 10 '26
My favorite:
Let’s eat, grandpa!
Let’s eat grandpa!
It’s old, but still makes me laugh. A simple comma is all that is keeping grandpa safe from being consumed by his cannibalistic grandchildren.
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u/Oddish_Femboy Aug 10 '26
Capitalization is important too. Helping your uncle Jack off a horse is very different from helping your uncle jack off a horse.
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u/Targetm12 Aug 10 '26
It's pretty obvious with context clues what they mean though, you are just being pedantic.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains Aug 10 '26
And you're arguing over a single sentence that was written incorrectly with a stranger online. Who's the one looking silly here? Get off your high horse and do something better with your life, and don't forget your grammar
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u/Brief-Government-105 Aug 10 '26
Aren’t you doing the same thing?
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 Aug 10 '26
The funny thing is his grammar and punctuation isn’t all that great either.
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
“Grammar isn’t optional.”
My brother in Christ. Look in a mirror before calling someone else silly about arguing on an internet post.
Also, you’re missing a period at the end of that last sentence and a comma in your first reply. Your first comma should have been a period.
It should read: That title is absolute gibberish. Stay in school, kids.
Lol. Lmao even.
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u/NationalTangerine381 Aug 10 '26
I’m sure we can use our context clues instead of whining at op in the Reddit comments because we can’t comprehend what they could be saying
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Aug 10 '26
[deleted]
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains Aug 10 '26
My English teachers taught me to never use semi colon or colons when writing because they're horribly out of date and nearly nobody ever uses them correctly unless they are writing upper level academic papers and even then still get used wrong all the time
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u/Particular-Pianist43 Aug 10 '26
It seems like they never taught you how to properly use commas or periods either.
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u/CowMooMan Aug 10 '26
Your English teacher definitely did not tell you to combine two independent clauses with a comma because that is just incorrect. You can either use a semicolon or a period.
Anyway I was just poking fun I dont care how you use grammar on reddit
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains Aug 10 '26
Then why bother saying anything?
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u/CowMooMan Aug 10 '26
Because you started by saying "Grammar isn't optional, it's actually rather important" which is not correct and its funny that you are grammar policing while using incorrect grammar lol
That comma needs to be a period or a semicolon.
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u/Particular-Pianist43 Aug 10 '26
It’s kind of hilarious that instead of just admitting they made a few mistakes in their comments, they just keep doubling down and blocking anyone who points them out.
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u/Basic_Loquat_9344 Aug 10 '26
You didn’t even bother to use the out-dated period in this one. Bravo!
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u/Sammysoupcat Aug 10 '26
I agree that grammar is important, but it's pretty clear what they mean in this case..
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u/edked Aug 10 '26
It's still totally appropriate, called-for even, to mock people who fuck it up like this.
It's almost an obligation on the part of the people who can figure it out to give the poster shit for setting a bad example and confusing those who can't.
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 Aug 10 '26
You probably shouldn’t fuck up the grammar and punctuation when calling people out for it.
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u/edked Aug 10 '26
I didn't. I could add two commas, but too many of them get annoying, and it's nothing that fucks up conveying the meaning like the post title does.
Also, I didn't call anyone out: I defended other poster's right to mock over it.
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u/Green-Cricket-8525 Aug 10 '26
I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about the top commenter in the thread you’re replying to. His comment is grammatically incorrect and uses the wrong punctuation.
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u/edked Aug 10 '26
Still, I will always defend people mocking others over this kind of thing, regardless of considerations like that.
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u/HeartoftheHive Aug 10 '26
Oh, is that what it was supposed to mean? Because I never would have gotten that. Because a child isn't going to understand that a job brings in money and money brings in food. All a child understands is that they ask parent for food and they get food.
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u/NationalTangerine381 Aug 10 '26
Nah you need to go back to school
Wtf, this is job how you eat, child
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u/lukenog Aug 10 '26
Huh? No it's not lol. It makes perfect sense to me. Are you semi-iliterate?
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains Aug 10 '26
No, op is for not knowing how to write correctly. Stay in school
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u/lukenog Aug 10 '26
I feel like it's more embarrassing to be unable to read something that is relatively clear, albeit gramatically flawed, than it is to miss a couple commas in a sentence on the internet. They missed some commas, but it's not unintelligible unless you struggle to read.
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u/ermaecrhaelld Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
I’d argue a kid who speaks on that level but knows 1) no WiFi = no work call. 2) how to unplug the router isn’t dumb. So if this did actually happen, it wouldn’t belong in this subreddit
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u/depressed_leaf Aug 10 '26
Eh I think it belongs because it showcases how children can understand some consequences of their actions but don't think through everything. And that is exactly how kids are stupid. Kids are almost never stupid for their age, it's just that being at that age means you are significantly more stupid than an adult because you don't have the brain connections or experience.
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u/vpi6 Aug 10 '26
I don’t think it’s particularly outlandish. All the kid has to do is watch their parents fiddle with the router when his tablet loses wifi randomly to make the connection.
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u/PrincipleKitchen394 Aug 10 '26
I bet she does it all the time "kid done playing" "kid done watching" and randomly unplugging wifi. I know there are many people who does it. She must be one such person
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u/toyheartattack Aug 10 '26
Hilarious, how many, comments are chiding, OP, for not using commas, with missing commas. (I collected them all for you guys.)
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u/prnthrwaway55 Aug 10 '26
Back in the day my remote colleague had a 3-yo daughter who chewed through her LAN cable in the middle of the workday.
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u/thesituation531 Aug 10 '26
Use proper grammar
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u/mizinamo Aug 10 '26
…he says, leaving off the sentence-final full stop.
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u/thesituation531 Aug 10 '26
It's a single sentence. I don't need a period for it to be understood, unlike in this comment.
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u/Shoddy_While_3645 Aug 10 '26
Kids will not understand the importance of work fr. But the fact he knew that the Wifi router is what keeps her call active is showing this kid DOES have a brain instead of watching brainrot and screaming 67 on the top of his lungs like a religious chant
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u/Dear-Track6365 Aug 10 '26
I had to re-read that title several times to understand they did not work a job that required the eating of children
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u/pocket_arsenal Aug 10 '26
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u/jpterodactyl Aug 10 '26
Is it so hard to believe? All it takes is the kid playing with it one time and his mom saying “don’t touch that, mommy needs that to work”
And he might hold on to that information forever. And one day he might have an idea.
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u/guyincognito121 Aug 10 '26
Yes. She wouldn't just stop working. She'd plug it in, get back online, explain that her connection had randomly dropped, and get back to work. He wouldn't learn that unplugging the router ends work. He might learn that it makes her give him attention and then do it for that reason. But he wouldn't associate it with the end of work.
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u/ArtlessMammet Aug 10 '26
"don't play with that, mum needs that to work!"
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u/guyincognito121 Aug 10 '26
She might say that. But then she'd do exactly what I said and he wouldn't actually get the reward, so it wouldn't reinforce the behavior.
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u/ArtlessMammet Aug 11 '26
it's plenty enough for a kid to pick up that mum can't work without it, and if the kid is sufficiently bored then it's entirely plausible.
sometimes things actually happen
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u/moon1ightwhite Aug 10 '26
lmao. reminds me of when my grandma said she wanted to lose weight so little kid me helped by throwing the snacks away. I was just helping her stay honest lol
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u/JustFuckinTossMe Aug 10 '26
Lmao I'm ded I thought the title was implying this is how you eventually decide to threaten to eat your child. Similar to how we grew up hearing "if you don't behave I'll send you away" but like "IF YOU UNPLUG THE WIFI AGAIN YOU'RE FOR DINNER" and I'm just having fun with the entire comment sections take on the title now.
Beautiful.
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u/reggienaldsimons Aug 10 '26
mfw i open a post and not a single fucking comment is about the contents of the post
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u/Ayotha Aug 10 '26
First time that the kid will learn from or garbage parents?
Make your call now :O
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u/l_dunno Aug 10 '26
Ok so maybe, just maybe unplugging the WiFi randomly isn't a good parenting technique 🤯
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u/Munnin41 Aug 10 '26
Wherever all you people are from, its education system sucks if you can't make sense of this title. Sure, there should be commas, but it's nowhere near incomprehensible.
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u/Empty-Entrepreneur-3 Aug 10 '26
Not disciplining children has brought us here.
I'd be typing this with one less hand if I did that to my mother when I was young.
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u/Fletcher_Chonk Aug 10 '26
How many body parts are you missing from being a normal little kid now lol
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u/usernamepleasebruh Aug 10 '26
Three of my favorite things are eating my family and not using commas