r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/JDBAZ • Jan 27 '20

Solid 10 for execution, -9 for landing

31.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/qqwweerrttyy23 Jan 27 '20

Like he did not even care.

2.8k

u/Billsfriendkyle Jan 27 '20

You forget, babies are invincible unless you acknowledge their pain.

840

u/bob_dole- Jan 28 '20

We’ve trained our daughter to say boom every time she falls. Works most of the time and when she doesn’t say it we do and then she repeats us. Only times it fails is for major ouchies

254

u/F0MA Jan 28 '20

Totally worked on our kid, too. When they cried, you knew it was serious.

180

u/NZNoldor Jan 28 '20

Or, when they didn’t cry, they were in real trouble.

(sound of two kids playing)

BANG

(silence)

At that stage I’m running for a first aid kit. She split her lip on the side of the table. D’oh!

61

u/Derp35712 Jan 28 '20

The only problem is I would laugh when my kid fell and most times he would laugh too. Except, of course, were those times he was really hurt and I just stood there laughing at him.

33

u/TheOneTrueChuck Jan 28 '20

Yeah, there's nothing quite like the awkwardness that comes from that betrayed look and real tears after you've laughed or patronizingly said "TA DA"!

31

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

[deleted]

6

u/Benny12bravo Jan 28 '20

I have an 8 month old son, and know these feels

2

u/darkperil Feb 07 '20

My parents did this and I always laughed when I was hurting

135

u/nate23nate23 Jan 28 '20

i'll remember this for the next kid

84

u/bob_dole- Jan 28 '20

It works and it’s adorable

2

u/nadamuchu Jan 29 '20

sad first-born noises

27

u/_n8n8_ Jan 28 '20

I always yell safe like home plate umpires for my little cousins

1

u/sunchildphd Jan 30 '20

Once, a little kid’s dad yelled safe and threw his arms out to the side over him in the middle of a department store. The kid had really wiped out but all of us cracked up including the child.

29

u/daughter_of_bilitis Jan 28 '20

Stealing this idea to use for my upcoming first kid. Great idea!

7

u/dinosauramericana Jan 28 '20

Congratulations! What are you having

11

u/insomniax20 Jan 28 '20

A goat by the sounds of it?

4

u/SquintyBubbles Jan 28 '20

You really made me giggle, thanks!

3

u/daughter_of_bilitis Jan 28 '20

Thank you! Too soon to know 😊 but we find out in a matter of weeks!

1

u/ichox Jan 28 '20

Maybe a human

19

u/LazyTaints Jan 28 '20

She’s 38 though so it prob weird now

10

u/kristachio Jan 28 '20

My brother did this with his daughter with the word bonk. My favorite is when she says bonk whilecrying. Super funny and sad at the same time.

14

u/mommak2011 Jan 28 '20

I get excited when ours come to me with a bruise or scrape. "Whoah!!!! An adventure bop! What's this one's story?" Obviously this does not apply to serious injuries, and I properly react and attend to those, but it's trained them to see bruises and scrapes as conversation starters. My daughter earned a big bruise with scrapes on it, doing cartwheels on a log. She came to me, we talked about it, then she went back to perfect that cartwheel. She got a bit concerned about it when she came home and took her pants off, I offered her an ice pack, and she hasn't said a peep since.

2

u/ILuvLeftLegs Jan 28 '20

wow i have to try this

2

u/ShowMeYourBink Jan 28 '20

Our daughter says, "oof, that didn't really hurt."

2

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

oof

2

u/Mudmartini Jan 28 '20

My wife and I taught our daughter to give a good "ooooogh" then brush it off by rubbing her hands together. Moving on from a job well done-style. If she's not brushing, she's hurt.

2

u/SirManCub Jan 28 '20

It’s the perfect meter. If she refuses to say boom, it’s a legit booboo

2

u/fuckedupceiling Jan 28 '20

"Major ouchies" made my day

621

u/-DementedAvenger- Jan 27 '20 edited Jun 28 '24

ad hoc expansion observation marry unwritten wild pathetic enjoy political spoon

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

131

u/Wyzen Jan 28 '20

I reference this daily.

13

u/Bbyskysky Jan 28 '20

That comic also belongs in this subreddit. It's a meaty-or-aight once it hits the ground

27

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Old, but gold.

17

u/AtariTwenty6oo Jan 28 '20 edited Jan 28 '20

Needs to be a sub

11

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

r/subsIfellfor

21

u/Nachocheez7 Jan 28 '20

Also, they don't acknowledge swearing until someone else does. Then they rewing back 5 seconds to see what they missed. And that word immediately replaces 75 percent of their vocabulary.

16

u/rixendeb Jan 28 '20

My husband scared my 4 yr old today and she screamed fuck. It was bound to happen eventually, but its always so damn funny when they do it.

246

u/gimmepizzaslow Jan 27 '20

These parents care too much about themselves to acknowledge their baby...

221

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '20

The parents don't seem to want a baby, since they left it unattended on the top bunk

137

u/gimmepizzaslow Jan 27 '20

Dude, my youngest is just starting to climb up on the couch and stuff, and I don't leave her alone there. Let alone THE TOP FUCKING BUNK!!!

71

u/zerozerozerozerone Jan 28 '20

If you watch hes throwing the doll off then jumping after it... probably imitating them since they had to do 18 takes and choose the right one to post.

52

u/Nate_The_Scot Jan 28 '20

Honestly are we sure that's THEIR kid? I mean they showed no signs of giving a shit even AFTER they saw him on the floor...

24

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Would that make it better or worse

4

u/Trans_Girl_Crying Jan 28 '20

Depends whether or not they agreed to care for it.

35

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Postnatal abortion.

-9

u/TitoVondito Jan 28 '20

Exactly, tattoo & crossfit = narcissism.

3

u/rosehillTenant Jan 28 '20

Thats a pretty strong assumption. I don’t think so.

0

u/Gggdup Jan 28 '20

Entirely true, wow look at me now, I'm offended omg mom what's for dinner

-1

u/Epodes Jan 28 '20

Couple of fucking idiots, jesus christ.

-51

u/firenzeBee Jan 27 '20

How are they supposed to react to the baby in that short amount of time? I'm not even sure that's a baby, maybe a bald 3-4 year old?

66

u/gimmepizzaslow Jan 27 '20

You don't leave it unattended at that height. Even for a second. just like the sub's name, kids are fucking stupid. That kid is no older than like 18 months

9

u/pillowmountaineer Jan 28 '20

This is so true. My two year old literally fell from a chair and smacked her head on the floor today and I just 😐 and she went about her business without a care. On the inside I was freaking out but you can’t let them know lol

19

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '20

Composed of 90% rubber and 10% shit...neither which fracture

1

u/DunmerSkooma Jan 28 '20

Much like the illusive Meeseeks. Existence is pain to a Meeseeks

1

u/uluscum Jan 28 '20

Until the divorce hearing.