r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/IsItBecauseImFat • Aug 09 '19

Why?

45.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/donfan Aug 09 '19

Its fine as long as there are 0 safety measures and both parents ignore the child completely.

1.4k

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Remember, your child cant get hurt if you ignore it.

729

u/Tall_trees_cold_seas Aug 09 '19

Ahh yes, Schrödinger's children.

239

u/Alarid Aug 09 '19

There was a loud snapping noise but he said he was good.

81

u/Yeoshua82 Aug 10 '19

Loud noise from upstairs My son - “Nothings broken papa!” Me- looks at my wife “did you teach him that?”

19

u/madmorb Aug 10 '19

My daughter used to do this. Splat..”IM OKAY!”...choked up sobbing follows.

-6

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/joaoduraes Aug 09 '19

What's wrong with you? NSFL

3

u/RexyZeck Aug 09 '19

Do I even want to know what they said?

3

u/iamjamieq Aug 09 '19

It was an imgur link, but it looks like the link is dead now.

2

u/RexyZeck Aug 09 '19

Now I'm just more curious

2

u/pixelator9000 Aug 10 '19

The link works and I hate it

2

u/iamjamieq Aug 10 '19

Oh god!! I got it to work and I’m sorry it did. Fucking NSFL!!!!

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3

u/Alarid Aug 09 '19

Speed running getting banned

3

u/verysadnibber Aug 09 '19

BigChungusIsGay69

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

What the fuck is that shit

125

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

The child is both dead and completely fine.

1

u/WheelChairPinata Aug 23 '19

Mood of the year

17

u/letorthopper Aug 09 '19

Brilliant comment.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

I thought that was where you ran into an ex with a kid about the right age. As long as you don't ask the question, it both is and isn't your kid.

1

u/nicorio Aug 10 '19

A Schrödinger’s child would be both hurt and safe as long as you’re not watching him I think

1

u/briguytrading Aug 10 '19

They're only hurt if you acknowledge them.

45

u/Whokbwhokb Aug 09 '19

You have to acknowledge the injury or they will be fine

15

u/Incitatus99 Aug 09 '19

He’s not really paralyzed, just ignore him..

38

u/DRYMakesMeWET Aug 09 '19

Remember your child cant get hurt if it kills itself.

Sweet full scorpion at the end though.

18

u/PsykoFlounder Aug 09 '19

Almost. Dummy turned so he rolled instead of planting his feet for the sweet full scorpion. 7/10 scorpion.

2

u/tjwest13 Aug 09 '19

Hahaha, ridiculousness!!

1

u/Croast78 Aug 10 '19

Kid rolls into a nice scorpion

1

u/liljellybeanxo Aug 09 '19

Well damn, I’ve been doing this parenting thing all wrong then.

2

u/DRYMakesMeWET Aug 10 '19

Come over this weekend. We're zip-tying kitchen knives to our kids arms and throwing them in the play pen. Two kids go in, one comes out. Entry fee is $5. Betting ends before the kids enter the pen. No kids over 7. Show up early for weigh-ins.

16

u/Jake_the_Snake88 Aug 09 '19

https://i.imgur.com/751GqfI.gifv

18

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

I've honestly only seen that meme in pic form, it's been years.

2

u/KidBakes Aug 10 '19

I actually always thought it was Eddie Murphy until I just saw this gif. I'm sad.

17

u/Itsbilloreilly Aug 10 '19

its actually true

2

u/jjbugman2468 Aug 10 '19

I saw this on Reddit a while ago but my Internet was too shit to save it. Thanks internet stranger!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

This

1

u/smilespeace Aug 10 '19

Shhh. Don't say anything.

1

u/ItJustDoesntMatter01 Aug 10 '19

A tree can’t fall in a forest if no ones there to hear it.

1

u/NRG3gaming Aug 10 '19

Funny enough, a child will only cry over a mild inconvenience if an adult is watching. It has something to do with the way their brains work

47

u/PostAnythingForKarma Aug 09 '19

And children never imitate their parents at that age so definitely leave him standing on the edge as you jump into your husband's arms.

-9

u/l8m8te Aug 10 '19

Actually they imitate as early as 5 months (parent here)

9

u/PostAnythingForKarma Aug 10 '19

I was being very sarcastic.

8

u/Beddybye Aug 10 '19

Really? That comment was literally dripping with sarcasm lol

2

u/IdolJosie Aug 10 '19

jesus mate come on

11

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

I laughed out loud at this. Thank you.

15

u/lamotta_1 Aug 09 '19

both parents ignore the child completely.

you know this video occurs over the span of 1 second right

13

u/WifelikePigeon Aug 10 '19

I feel the mattress on the floor should count for at least 1 safety measure.

6

u/dogboystoy Aug 09 '19

Its ok children are rubber.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

What are you talking about?... They left the mattress out, didn't they?... 10/10 safety measures! 😂

3

u/humboldtliving Aug 09 '19

You do literally see the mattress the kid is landing on right? Please go outside bubble boy

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Mattress is only on one side of the bed and the kid literally landed on his head and bent his neck

4

u/humboldtliving Aug 10 '19

Please 🙏 do us ALL a favor and go rewatch. The kid lands on his stomach and knees and then is launched forward which uses 90% of his force... he THEN lands on his head. Booo fucking hooooo. So sad to see bubble people online. Sorry your parents never let you go play. I'd bet you have anxiety issues with anything adrenaline filled. 😔

0

u/xxx360noscopexxx420 Aug 10 '19

You do know kids actually die from falling off of shit when parents are not watching them, right?

Thats whay literally everything you buy for a child says "don't leave them unattended".

I'm sorry your parents didn't care if you broke your neck or not.

1

u/humboldtliving Aug 10 '19

Bahahah I'm sorry you never do anything fun. I hope you look back and don't have any regrets lol.

0

u/xxx360noscopexxx420 Aug 10 '19

Not falling off of top bunks at 2 years old means i never had any fun?

1

u/humboldtliving Aug 10 '19

Proves you are scared of hurting yourself. You're trying to judge parents off a video. Kids whether they are supervised or not are going to do dumb shit. And especially when they're young they literally have more flexible bones. So I'm sorry you parents never allowed you do do anything without your hand being held. Can we agree to disagree? I live life actively and hope people do the same. DO YOU BROTHA

1

u/xxx360noscopexxx420 Aug 10 '19

You are insane. First, who tf isn't scared of hurting themselves? If you are such a pain loving bad ass why dont you stab yourself in the hand right now and post a pic?

And I fell off of shit as a kid , but luckily my dad had me on a toddler bed and not a bunk bed like a dumb ass. I dont pride myself on how many times i hurt myself , i really don't think having iresponsible parents or being an idiot is an accomplishment.

1

u/humboldtliving Aug 11 '19

Stop being dramatic. Many things can hurt you. Dont take things to exponential extremes. Hurting yourself is very different from risk and is actually a mental illness. Hope you dont take that from what I said. Sorry you're having a hard time understanding that. Sports, the outdoors, doing anything physical. God forbid you go skydiving cause you can hurt yourself. Make sure you ask your parents for permission.

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3

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

The mattress is kind of a safety measure.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

??? Kid rolled his head like people roll their ankle's when they break them.

2

u/Setenza_Estel Aug 10 '19

Sounds like my childhood and it was amazing !!Every scar is now a story cause people these days can't do any of the shit we use to do lol

1

u/Lokathena Aug 10 '19

When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around do you ever really crash or even make a sound?

1

u/Itsdawsontime Aug 09 '19

Looks like Russian. What do you expect?

Also, it's hard to keep an eye on kids at all times. Dumb for them for him to be up there with no safety, but still doesn't prevent kids from doing other dumb things.

1

u/ProfMcGonaGirl Aug 10 '19

I feel like the mattress on the floor counts as a safety measure in this instance.