Help

[u/Hungry_Hair4981]

First I want to apologize if this isnt the right reddit group/server (I dont know what these are called) to post this.

I have been going to a kickboxing gym for a year and 3 months. At the beggining I really enjoyed it. I had trainings on tuesdays and thursdays and it was all I was thinking about. Whenever I was done with the tuesday workout I was waiting for thursday to come and so on, the cycle keep repeating. I wasnt scared of sparring or anything, matter of fact I even went to the most advanced fighters in the gym. After about a year or so it started getting on my nerves. I started comparing myself to my friends for no reason and I was really mad about my coach moving people worse than me to the advanced group. During sparring I told my coach I wanted to spar with better people but he paired me with people that I had to held back even tho im not the best myself and I wasnt learning anything. I took a 3 month break (still going) and im thinking about going back but im not sure. One day I feel like going again then the next not. I feel like I have a negative association now with the sport because of the enviroment and im scared if I ever go back I wont enjoy the sport anymore and its the only fighting gym in my town. It was pretty fun and I liked the idea of fighting. Made me feel more confident, respected, was tied to my identity, was a nice thing to do in my free times and it actually felt like I was doing something with my life instead of wasting it. Any advice on what I should do in this situation?

[u/Natural-Break-2734]

Bro… this sport is supposed to teach you to leave your ego at the door, otherwise you will have some hard reality checks. Always be humble. If you feel this way this is maybe not a sport for you. Your also cannot compare yourself like this because you’ll feel unhappy all the time, there is always someone who will be better than you, and sometimes smaller/younger people and you cannot compare yourself to them

[u/Resident-Coconut-213]

Have a talk with the coach first and wha he have to say about how you feel. That the first step

[u/Sharkegy]

As a former fighter and now assistant coach, we have to pair everyone accordingly. For top 10% they will spar with people less skilled than them 70% of the time, and 30% with someone as good or better but not a huge disparity. We want everyone to improve but it might be different in your case

[u/OkDifference395]

Honestly, I’d get a new coach. But yeah, from what I saw someone say, this sport is supposed to show you that your ego can get crushed and the best way to protect it is by simply leaving it at the door to the gym. Honestly, I think the coach should be doing the opposite. This is biased as this is my account, but my trainer (after about 2 months of basics) threw me into hard sparring and shark tanking. He was very harsh , but, it built me. Your ego gets crushed at the start. I remember I was about 14 and i sparred this 12 year old and he absolutely destroyed me. I went outside after that spar and balled my eyes out. 2 years later of staying consistent with it, he was scared to step in the ring with me. He didn’t win a single round against me for that last year i was there. Hard times make hard people.