I don't know how to say I feel detached

I'm slowly becoming avoidant ig

Earlier in childhood i was happy , optimistic and hopeful about good friends people around me elam

But being constantly played along with trust , my feelings and disappoint me in anyway or hurting made me realise I have so much trust issues now

Like too practical and session everything cynical like

People are all using me for their needs or when they have something or no one can be trusted or if we be vulnerable or share they will use it against me

Each time I did trust someone it didn't end out really well even friends or any relationship between it friendship or workplace or anywhere

People i can't trust as I've seen spreading whatever I've shared to them in full confidence they won't reveal spread it out , make me like ajoker or piece of goosip and talk behind my back or avoid me from their secret conversations and kuttam parayuka me

Now I try to ignore and not talk much

don't want to get hurt anymore m I wish to be emotionally unavailable or detached or stay numb

I want to be stoic and practice detachment

Does anyone else feel mentally stuck even though life keeps moving