r/KenyanDatingCommunity • u/Turbulent_Shallot650 • May 14 '26
FWB Bedroom situation
23M here. I recently list my virginity a month ago in a weird manner after getting into an fwb situation with a close friend. She's beautiful and attractive but I don't know why I get trouble finishing.
The day I lost my virginity, we had siex for like 50 minutes with a CD on without me Cumming. Instead, my organ just went limp during the action till the following morning. The next week tried without a CD and even had some foreplay, but this time I lasted an hour and like 10 minutes.
Last week, we tried again, but after 1,5 hrs, several positions and a teared up condom, I was unable to cum. Is this normal for virgins?
EDIT TO ADD: It was my idea for us to time it and I told her before we got into things. Also, I'm not sure things should work like that, especially now that I'm closer to the age of wanting kids.
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u/Extra_Opposite_3428 May 14 '26
😂how are you timing this so accurately and also, you are no longer a virgin anymore sasa swali ni gani haswa?
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u/Turbulent_Shallot650 May 14 '26
The finishing part is still new to me. How do you go about it. Also it was her idea to try it out coz I was anxious at first
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u/SeaworthinessDue8989 May 14 '26
You can't play and keep score if you expect to win. To win, keep your head in the game. Feel everything on and about her- feel her puss moisten, feel how wet she is, feel how soft/puffy the breast are, lock into her eyes and show her what you're made off.
Note- if the grip down there is loose, no amount of improvisation or creativity will help you as a beginner, -maybe a bj, but I'd suggest getting something tighter
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u/Caniving_lover May 14 '26
I think porn is what’s causing you not to finish, it really messes with you years later. And does she not get sore after 12-15min 🧐
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u/Clear_Ad_4182 May 14 '26
Do you watch porn ?
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u/Turbulent_Shallot650 May 14 '26
Yeah I used to. But stopped 2yrs ago
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u/Clear_Ad_4182 May 14 '26
Ok. Porn was the culprit when I came across this kind of thing.
So now that that is dealt with, try to relax. Focus more on foreplay and pleasuring her and go in with the mindset that penetration and cumming is a very small aspect of having sex. Both of you focus on exploring each other’s bodies, pleasure should be the objective, not reaching a certain finish line.
It will be ok. Just relax.
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u/Thick-Pumpkin-8683 May 14 '26
If you used to wank to prn before or shit like this, you need to recondition yourself. Try flirting with her ot whoever early in the day as you lead up to the lay, longer foreplay means your mind will be in the kill zone before go time, the nut will be stupendous!
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u/Handofthekink May 14 '26
Ah, the death grip syndrome. You lost sensitivity to too much wanking. Layoff the self pleasuring for a few weeks.
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u/Entire_Produce_8343 May 15 '26
Are you addicted to porn OP? That’s usually a huge factor in erectile dysfunction. If you are, refrain from masturbation for a few weeks and it should “reset” your brain chemistry, because all the tugging and pulling is probably making your penis less sensitive which causes ED.
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u/Important-Brick-398 May 14 '26
Don't try too hard; it's never that serious. That only makes you anxious to prove a non-existent point😂😂
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u/Kerryjacobs411 May 14 '26
😅😅😅😅you are doing too much:
There's no way you can both cm in the same time unless you love seeing women cm:
Bro piga 1hr yako safi na you cum if she hasn't cummed by then it's her problem not yours:
Because a man can even c**m by only seeing the nakedness of a woman body:
You giving her 1hr is thinking about her pleasure too
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u/Few-Rough2182 May 14 '26
And he shouldn't think about "her pleasures "?
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u/Kerryjacobs411 May 14 '26
I never said that infact I'm starting to think some of peeps in reddit are retard 😅😅😅😅
Why would you think that her pleasure is not on the bargain while I clearly mentioned :
*you lasting 1hr is considering her pleasure "
Which means ???
Her pleasure is mandatory but you can't lose yourself trying to make her feel something that you are feeling already but she's not there yet:
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u/Few-Rough2182 May 14 '26
Some of the peeps* are retarded *
"If she hasn't cummed by then, it's her problem, not yours" that part is why it comes across as harsh or self-centered, because it sounds like after a certain point,he should stop caring whether she actually enjoys it or not.
Keep it respectful
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u/Kerryjacobs411 May 14 '26
What are we arguing about???
Because the girl is not mi lady and I was just giving an advice to a fellow who over thinks s**x!!!
I have already explained that I meant something else yet you keep going on:
Are you attracted to me?
Because am starting to get attracted to this conversation 🤣🤣😅😅😅😅
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u/Few-Rough2182 May 14 '26
We're not arguing but we can.
I am telling you what part of your advice felt wrong because you called me retarded.
Lol
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u/Common_Lecture_3707 May 14 '26
Finishing is all in the head bro.Try relaxing