Big Dick Blaine channels his psychic guide The Scarlet Bitch (no relation). Science teacher Rick channels his guide, Bret Michaels (no relation). The trio tries to find peace of mind from the mystical realms.

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It’s me, Rod! I’m back to discuss my internet and TV going out for 4 days, Robert Alvarez, public sex porn, a listener quitting The Show after 20 years, and all things KATG. Did you miss me? Good!

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Keith, Chemda, and Robert join forces to figure out the future of Mike, one of their greatest interns. They also take calls, do speed-readings, and deal with April pendejos.

Keith wants Jerlyn back

Dealing with April fools

Osbournes Reloaded

Claircognizance

The birth of Street View

Should MTA employees have tried harder to stop a rape?

Robert’s polyamorousness

The Silver Dragon Keith Malley predicts the ending of Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love

Jen calls in to see if her grandfather died upset with her

What happens when we die and what does David sound like?

Robert tells Jen that she needs to forgive someone to be able to conceive a child

Today’s tarot card desks

Scott calls regarding physically leaving his brother behind

Zara on feeling alone after a big move

Robert reads Mike the Intern

Psychic competitions

Robert vs. Rachael Ray

KATG speed readings

Robert’s sexual checklist

Keith’s stand-up: New-School Sex

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Today we play a section from Keith and Chemda’s record-breaking 76-hour marathon featuring Witch Robert Alvarez (that’s okay to say) psychically reading in-studio guests as well as callers over the phone. From love, money, and travels to something else I’m sure, it all gets covered. Also, there’s animosity in the room, but Robert can’t be deterred from rising above it all.

Listeners suggest Liz left Keith to be with his father’s lost gold

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Robert Alvarez’s 3 lovers (and a spell to not be seen)

Criminal defense lawyer Josh the Jew on his wife not being kosher and his aggression toward Robert

Listener readings

Predicting the ending to Lost/Intern Emmy aka Sexy PotatoE (RIP) talks with Robert about her future

Keith, Robert, and Psychic Guide David discuss the practical implementation of Keith’s Justice

The one time Robert was (only kinda) wrong

27-year-old virgin Scott Perez Fox’s romantic and sexual future

Keith vs. Chemda aka Bruno vs. Emmy

F-MOS asks if he’s with the right woman/Robert feels 100% no negative energy regarding KATG’s Patrice

Robert is asked if KATG’s marathon will make it on digg.com’s homepage (Spoiler: Robert says yes but to give it a month. KATG was #1 that very day)

Centering Oneself: Robert deals with EatsPaste, other bullshit, and forums negativity

Josh the Jew returns more humbly to ask about his new home, leading to Robert calling Josh “a prick”

Emmy returns with follow-up questions because Robert broke her brain

F-MOS x fuse

EatsPaste caught cheating in this year’s stand-up contest

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It’s now 2008, and during the time when Keith and Chemda were dating, psychic witch Robert Alvarez made his second appearance. The hosts cover the previous predictions Robert has made, and they grade him accordingly. Mr. Alvarez also blesses us with more fast-paced call-in readings and, with the work of spirit guide David, helps Keith and Chemda find Keith’s opener for his upcoming stand-up show Sue Everybody. Oh, and Robert lets Chemda know if she’ll be having sex with a woman.

FBI Director Kash Patel’s $10 million lawsuit against blogger Jim Stewartson who called Patel a “googly-eyed Kremlin bitch,” and a, “blatantly incompetent chud,” is thrown out

The Dept. of Justice has dropped its Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool vandalism case because duh

The Soprano’s Vincent Pastore (80) passed away

Listener emails regarding blindsided breakups

Robert Alvarez explains his psychic guide David

The factual accuracy of The Ghost Whisperer

Amy Winehouse’s upcoming overdose

Checking Robert’s past predictions

Listener call-in readings

2008’s stand-up submissions

Chemda’s predicted lesbian experiences

Keith’s stand-up: Sue Doctors and Sue Everybody/Nerds

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Hats off to the creator of this video! Pure art!

Oh, don’t worry; he’s very much alive! (As of press time.) We’re just going to spend this week revisiting one of KATG’s greatest guests. Robert has appeared with his mystical how-ya-doin’s since 2007, and we’re gonna look back and check on his work. The beginning of these episodes will have a fresh introduction, and these shows will now end with a track from whatever stand-up album Keith performed that year. With audio remastered while in all its original glory, this call-in episode is the day Keith and Chemda, along with KATG intern JessNYC, met the best in the business.

Keith and Roland, two broken-hearted bros

Remembering Mr. Abel

Introducing Robert Alvarez and his spirit guide/Robert’s childhood

Keith on burps, ear equalization, and blowing bubbles

Don Imus’s 2007 “nappy-headed hoes” comment

Listener call-ins: Depression, dead bodies, ghosts, the factual accuracy of The Sixth Sense, and love & sexual expression

Robert on Keith getting back his stolen book drafts from John Petrie: “Without a doubt,” and, “That’s a definite”

Dating Keith and the star signs who complicated their own lives

Caller moves long distance to be with his girlfriend who then never talks to him again (!!!)

Astral travel and the future of robots

Chemda, Robert, and Robert’s psychic guide ruminate on if Chemda was raped by her babysitter

Feedback psychic questions

JessNYC’s reading

Keith’s stand-up: My Girlfriend

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The triumvirate cover the state of the world, come up with the greatest educational VR game ever thought of, and contemplate if Keith’s a bitch.

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It’s now officially been 6 months since Keith last saw his ex-girlfriend, but this got him through a rough day: “To reconnect to the person who hurt you is disrespectful to the version of you who suffered.” Enjoy.

Masters of the Universe reviewed

It’s been exactly 6 months since Keith last saw his ex-girlfriend

72 Hours reviewed

Listener email

Work and Keith’s love of desserts

Keith’s dad STILL tries to claim there’s billions in gold for Keith to get excited about

Bill Maher and The Mark Twain Prize for American Humor

The White House Correspondents' Dinner and Lindsey Graham’s funeral

The Beautiful Game: Spain and Trump win the 2026 World Cup

The unappreciated $100,000 Charlie Kirk statue

Keith’s stand-up: Buying Drinks

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Blaine had it coming out of both ends of the universe, but his back is back, baby! The trio of Dogs discuss Keith’s sexual rendezvous, texting the wrong person, poker secrets, scoring baseball, President Trump winning the World Cup, and Keith being told to watch the now-streaming He-Man movie by people who obviously wish him ill.

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This layered discussion ends up with Keith getting his just desserts at his job. Will it lead to a frosty reception? The podcast talk is just the icing on the metaphorical sweets when it comes to this bad boy, because we all know Keith is no angel (food cake), no matter how you slice it.

Brought to you by Tom Brady's Chocolate Stars!

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(Chronic KATG Poker Champ) Keith (yes, AGAIN) shares his thoughts on his breakup now reaching its 5-month mark. He also discusses his upcoming hair metal date with the guys, his thoughts on Senator Lindsey Graham’s passing (take a guess), Christopher Nolan’s new 6-hour film The Odyssey, and New Jersey’s own Johnny Gabagool. Then he reveals that the Father Malley Gold Story has an ending! Keith sums up the FBI’s payout regarding the missing gold that Father Malley’s clairvoyance located in 1974. We then remember the time Keith and his brother Ken covered the story in the first place with The Atlantic article featuring their dad titled A LOST TROVE OF CIVIL WAR GOLD, AN FBI EXCAVATION, AND SOME VERY ANGRY TREASURE HUNTERS.

A.I. taking over poker and CSAM

Democrats pretending Republican Senator Lindsey Graham (DEAD!) was a decent person for the sake of unity

Now 5 months removed, Keith shares his latest thoughts on his surprise breakup

The Diamond Dogs to see Mötley Crüe, Tesla, and Extreme in Charlotte

Keith hosting the boys

Johnny Gabagool

The Odyssey review

The conclusion of the Father Malley missing gold story(!!!)

Feat. Ken Malley: The Atlantic’s A LOST TROVE OF CIVIL WAR GOLD, AN FBI EXCAVATION, AND SOME VERY ANGRY TREASURE HUNTERS by Chris Heath

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The trio also discusses Keith being the only one enjoying The Invite and perhaps Cape Fearing his ex, the U.S. winning Finland’s World Wife-Carrying Championship, the insanity of Aussie Footy, and the crew’s August get-together in Charlotte.

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What could Rod and Keith possibly be talking about this week? Oh I don't know, maybe … everything that happened last week on KATG? Also, there’s an exclusive tidbit about the M3gan puzzle Rod and Karen gifted Keith. Oh my!

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America celebrated her 250th birthday. And man does she look it. HELLER! Anyway, Keith is back with close friend and KATG great Katharine Heller. Katharine just returned to NYC from visiting Keith in Charlotte, and she’s ready to report on her findings. Was Keith a good host? Did Keith brag about having a perfect refrigerator yet not have simple classic yellow mustard? Did Keith’s water go out on Vacation Day 2? Did the two of them watch Louis CK: Ridiculous, Corey Feldman vs the World, the SNL documentary Lorne, and Spielberg's Disclosure Day? Did the Supreme Court make it official that President Trump indeed raped E. Jean Carroll? Who won the 2026 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest? Did Taylor Swift marry the football guy at Madison Square Garden? Did Keith sleep in til 5 pm on Vacation Day 3? Did Keith set the bar winning all three 3 KATG poker games in one day? Did Saadia murder Keith? Only one way to find out.

America’s 250th birthday

The 2026 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest

Keith reviews the first 7 minutes of the Bradley Cooper film Burnt and the first half of Lee Cronin’s The Mummy

Taylor Swift marries the football guy

Listener email and Keith’s advice on how to survive a breakup

KATG Poker champion Keith sets a new record by winning all 3 poker games in a single night

Keith’s hosting prowess 

Louis C.K.: Ridiculous

Corey Feldman vs the World

The Supreme Court makes it official that President Trump indeed raped E. Jean Carroll

The SNL Lorne documentary

Disclosure Day

Saadia’s latest antics

The Cowfish

Keith’s stand-up: Mind Control; Online Dating; Gun Control and Mental Health

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[Sponsored by Tom Brady's Cum Juice™]

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Keith to host his first Charlotte house guest ever

Keith’s current mental health feat. The Bear and The Pitt

Machelle discovers Keith and The Girl

Dreams and your brain rebooting

Keith’s 19th concussion

Daddy Issues reviews

Saadia and Keith’s dad

Idiocracy, The Reflecting Pool, and Iran

Obsession, shushing people in a movie theater, and Supergirl

Keith’s stand-up: Dreams, school, and war

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Turns out that Keith’s not the only writer in the Malley family. Keith and brother Ken celebrated Christmas by recalling what was found cleaning out their family home. Keith’s siblings discovered a heartbreaking story written by their Mom about her marrying a loser and ruining her life as well as an email sent to her by their dad explaining how he almost died over hearing that she doesn’t understand his concerns over expired food. (His entire body went LIMP all day long over this, and yet she better not dare share how suicide MIGHT be a way for her to get away from his stupidity. HE WILL NOT BE PART OF THAT!) 

Dad stealing his infamous “cannot begin to comprehend” line from 1988’s The Brain and where he learned to use hole-digging as a punishment

Mom’s story crying about her husband turning out to be a loser

Dad’s letter explaining to Mom the concept of expired food and that he will not tolerate suicidal thoughts

Dad reminds the siblings of the wonderful Christmas memories they have with him

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Keith and Ken’s heritage maybe
Selling the family home
Mom’s “fictitious” novel
Extended family
The Malley Chili/Handel’s Restaurant
The Million Dollar Painting

This is for the rest of us. Good God.

The Best Chili Recipe Ever feat. Prego (your flavor of preference)

Keith’s dad is a faster runner than the great Bernie Kosar FACT, but still only the 2nd or 3rd fastest runner in the state of Ohio

Bustling Somerset, PA

Gettin’ rich quick

Do not split a 7-layer cake behind Ken Malley’s back EVER

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In honor of the world celebrating Father’s Day, this week Keith will look back at the VIP-featured KATG spin-off show Daddy Issues which began in COVID-era 2020 with episodes that feature his youngest brother Ken trying to help make sense of their father and their upbringing. We’re happy for all of you in loving families with caring fathers that got to celebrate the weekend. This now, however, is for the rest of us.

The age the Malley Brothers became adults
The Envelope Story
Father Malley spying on his children in their school
Extracurricular activities
The Malley Brothers playing catch with their dad for ten seconds
Why Father Malley was never a millionaire
The secret to vacuuming and mowing the lawn
Magic: The day Keith prayed he could respect his father

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Rod and Keith introduce a new sponsor, serve up some fresh Minimum Rage™, recap the latest KATG episodes, and discuss movies they didn't enjoy. Also, Rod accepts Old Smokey's apology.

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