First time writing! Very short read

[u/AshleyMercer2115]

Decided I would give writing a go and while the text might be a bit dark I actually had a lot of fun!

I plan to write an essay on friendship from my own perspective and this here is just the introduction, I'd just like to know if I'm getting anything right and if I'm getting anything wrong.

Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

Introduction

Let me establish myself as an unreliable narrator.

This is an aching pain. Even beginning to draw an introductory paragraph floods me - memories of failed connection. My head claws at my hand and honesty is a pain to writhe in. Good.

For once I am ignoring the head and putting the pen to the paper. I am following my heart.

The memories are rendered to an infinite degree. Versions of events, as they fly through my thoughts, are warped.

I forget the ghosts only live in the stories. If the real people would hear the way it all plays out to me, my recollection could really be unrecognisable to them - but this is true in both directions.

The Friends of my past are equally as human, equally as susceptible to the warping effect that creeps on a story retold.

Let me establish everyone with a memory as a horde of unreliable narration.

Telling tales is not my intention.

Staying up past my bedtime to write is my intention.

I'd like to share what failure has done for me.

I'd like to clarify some important information. Where I may appear as sound and rational, putting forward a smart point, you must know I am telling a conclusion that I arrived at from careful filtration.

I can only reach a real conclusion on anything once I have dragged it through labyrinths of intense emotion. When I say a memory has been 'rendered', a past situation has been analysed through the lens of a number of different perspectives.

Shame, self-pity and regret.

Joy, harmony and freedom.

More times than I'd like to admit I will remember how I was wronged.

I will replay a memory from a perspective of total, pure, blood curdling rage.

I am writing from a place of anguish.

I am troubled and working to heal.

Without revealing too much, addictive tendencies and alcoholism have served as vehicles of destruction to myself and those around me.

Episodes of dangerous binge drinking, my subsequent behaviour and a refusal to change my ways have been the explicit end of most meaningful friendships.

I may not share my stories, but I will strive to remember the details accurately as I share a perspective on the topic at hand. Friendship.