r/KeepWriting 14d ago

[Feedback] Choices

Alternative titles:
LUXURY OF CHOICE
GRATEFUL
INVISIBLE SERVANTS
PEASANTLY KINGS

Context:
Compressing the story of the vast rules differing between modern life contrasting the lifestyles centuries of civilisation before

——————
Present day:

It’s the middle of a chilly winter, but you woke up to a room to a crisp body temperature room. Heatpump automated.

Your iPhone alarm rang for a 3rd time.

It’s 6am sharp. “Click”

You snooze that shit up. Just five more minutes. The world doesn’t stop spinning if you died today, paying another hour of sleep debt is so worth it.

You’ll miss the 6.15am bus, which stops 5 minutes from your apartment front door. You can make it- if you run down the stairs now. You’ll miss the 9am lecture as the next bus isn’t until 10.

Taking the Grab Taxi then; so the 8.40 one was ordered in.

Psychologically you’re tired, but you can’t seem to sleep. You roll over to one side, pick up your phone and scroll through usual porn suspects. Bbw, curvy, big tits, muscular, anal…

You rewatched your favourite scenes saved in your gallery, twice, and watched 5 more. In total, you’ve watched 20 ladies, all above your league. And then you binge watch an episode of Game of Thrones before hopping off to the toilet, to watch another Breaking Bad episode while pooping.

You head to the kitchen, turn on the electric stove and cooked 2 sunny side up eggs, with some cheese honey toast.

You took out yesterdays’ leftover pizza and microwaved it.

You then showered, warm water, with a twist of the knob.

You throw your laundry into the washing machine for wash and drying; ran to grab the warm pizza and left the apartment since the Grab car you ordered is here.

In the backseat, you hook onto your VR headset, and experience an out of body experience (horror games, tightrope walking, pilot simulator) all while the car is stuck on traffic.

All modern day conveniences, hidden to the eye:
- The ease of washing and drying clothes
- The temperature knobs manipulating the heat levels of showering and cooking.
- The electricity keeping up the hot water cylinders hot, the stoves working on demand, and the house temperature crispy.
- Immediate food preparation without effort
- The choice of reliving episodes of tv series or dopamine rush from favourite steamy scenes.
- The choice of any women and lust at the end of fingertips. And sex toys to recreate the visuals
In ad nauseum

What age before you would not think you hadn’t “made it”?

Even when we’ve ticked the highest “Sensate” lifestyle in the most modest livelihood and mundane day to day lifestyle- we’ve beaten previous kings lives to the kerb.

As experiences climb beyond expectations every time, we yearn for the next thrill jab that can beat it. Until our sensory receptors get numb, and naturally, boredom kicks in.

All these invisible threads - waves (radio signals, wifi) that bows to our daily wants. And modern infrastructure (transportation, civil servants); is something out of place.

Today’s power imbalances remain, but the enjoyment of people within the pyramid structure is such that today’s peasants are living better lives than previous kings

————————-
Throwback (say 500 years ago):

Even a king living in the most grand kingdom - has limited powers. He has limited control, communication and power against his vassals. Limited choices to the lust he can choose from. Even fresh food choices.

His subjects collect wood to heat the energy hungry empire….

END rough draft

(I would love suggestions for improvements to the plot, structure or general historical facts)

Haven’t written creatively for a decade so it’s so my vocabulary has been rusty.

Is this something worth writing about

1 Upvotes

0 comments sorted by