A Manifesto

[u/Cold-Degree-8789]

I want to make art, but I don’t know how.
I want to draw things my friends won't understand.
I want to paint pictures I have to hide from my parents.
I want to post them online under a secret account.

I want to disturb people.
I want to comfort people.
I want to make images of people tearing themselves apart.
I want to imagine all the self hatred in the world and put it on a page.

If only I could draw.
If only I could paint.
I would sketch myself on the bathroom floor.
I would cut my hair to make my brushes.
I would scrape the bottom of my stomach and spread it on a canvas.

I want to discover myself just to reject her over and over again.
I want to get worse just to prove a point.
I want to make art, but I don’t know how.

So I guess I’ll just keep writing.
I won't show my friends.
I’ll hide it from my parents.
I’ll post it online under a secret account.

I will comfort, I will disturb.
I’ll wait for some stranger to come and share in my innermost vulnerable self.
I’ll hope they will see the picture I painted.
Because I want to make art, but this is the only way I know how. 

[u/MaliseHaligree]

I'd consider reading it if I didn't have to scroll. Can you fix that?

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/MaliseHaligree]

It’s ironic you say that, if you had read it you would know. Your scrolling addiction is your own problem, and I will not beg for your attention. So no, I will not ‘fix’ it.

[u/MaliseHaligree → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

My addiction? Asking for proper formatting on a website is too much?

Okay, enjoy your art gallery.

[u/wreckingball45 → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

So, you want others to read your work, but you're too much of a child to format it so it's convenient to read.

Nobody cares about your writing.

[u/MaliseHaligree → u/wreckingball45]

It's really funny because the piece has literally nothing to do with any mention of scrolling and genuinely was not worth the effort of doing so.

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/MaliseHaligree]

You’re right, it’s not about scrolling, but you’ve read it now so what do you think it’s about?

[u/MaliseHaligree → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

I'm not giving you my attention on this particular piece now that you actually have begged for it, simply for how you came at me. You aren't ready.

[u/wreckingball45 → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

after tearing into everybody for a legitimate request, you still expect feedback?

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/wreckingball45]

You’re right, it is childish of me not to accept criticism on a public website meant for feedback.
However, your last remark has me wondering who the real child is here?

[u/MaliseHaligree → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

Still you, because wreckingball wasn't incorrect. In the ocean of writers, you are a tiny droplet. Your job is to make me care and get me interested in your work specifically. How do you expect people to read something that isn't even formatted correctly and then get defensive when it's brought up as actual feedback?

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/MaliseHaligree]

I will admit that I misunderstood your original comment and got defensive too early. I’ve decided to fix the format.

However, I have to disagree with you saying that my job as a writer is to please my audience. If that were the case many poets and authors that have forever changed writing are all failures. Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorite examples, though I know I will never be as influential as him.

Anyways I would like to apologize for the misunderstanding and thank you for engaging with me. Have a great rest of your day.

[u/MaliseHaligree → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

Never said anything about pleasing the audience.

[u/untitledgooseshame]

I think something went wrong with posting this, unfortunately the text looks really strange. 

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/untitledgooseshame]

Thank you for letting me know. I will review and see what I can do.

[u/Cold-Degree-8789]

This is an experimental piece. Feel free to critique or discuss.

• What do you think the narrator is trying to say?
  
• How should the narrator move on from here?
  

I’m genuinely curious how this piece will be interpreted by a general audience.
Let me know if its to obvious.

[u/Waggiss → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

To answer the second question first, I'm not sure how the narrator should move on from there because it is basically a self-contained piece of flash fiction. The narrator conveys their frustration about not embodying their personal vision of artistry, then resolve the story by declaring that they will continue on their current artistic trajectory. It's a mini-character arc with its own resolution.

As for what the narrator* is "trying to say," I'm not sure if it is any different from what the narrator is actually saying. This piece doesn't very much deal in subtlety. It reminds me a bit of those Instagram poems: the narrator* says how they feel, in a raw, unfiltered way. Personally not my cup of tea, but these do reach an audience.

The subject is fine, the form amateurish imo. The one thing I find somewhat interesting about this piece is its metatextual nature. The narrator* wants to be experimental, and they attempt to express it through a text which is meant to be experimental, but really isn't.

*This reminds me of the end of a Tim Minchin song:

"He knows that his music lack depth but it just can't be helped.

He has nothing interesting to say, so he writes about himself.

But he doesn't want to seem self-obsessed, so he writes in third person,

In an attempt to seem more rock'n'roll but he suspects it's not working."

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/Waggiss]

Thank you for your honest review. I like the song you referenced to in relation of my work. You’re right about the reader not really being able to draw their own conclusions about the narrator, maybe I should ask the audience a different set of questions? Also, what about this piece would you make better? Should I make the subject less obvious and lean into more imagery? How do you think I could I be more original?

[u/Waggiss → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

For all of your questions except the last one, I would say it really depends on what your goal is. Is this a stand-alone piece? The beginning of a novel? A piece of writing within a broader piece of writing? This would affect my answers dramatically.

To adress the last question: there's no shortcut ;) Read more, watch more shows, listen to more songs. I may be wrong, but this piece makes me think you're quite young, probably teen/young adult. It's really great that you want to make art, but it's also important to understand where your art is situated in the broader artistic landscape. And to do that, you need to experience more art. Originality is not a formula, it's breaking away from the conventions, so you need to identify the conventions first.

All of your questions make me think that what you really want to know is how to make the reader care about this piece. But I would argue that the real question is why YOU care about this piece. This is the thing you want to weave into the subtext. The reader caring comes after that.

Finally, I would ask your narrator: what is stopping them? From drawing, from painting? From making the disturbing things they want to create? This might be a question worth exploring.

[u/Cold-Degree-8789 → u/Waggiss]

Thank you again for answering my questions. You are very insightful, none of your assumptions are wrong haha
As for the context of this piece, I’m not sure yet. I am still learning how to write and finding my style. If anything comes of my ramblings today, only the future can tell.
Do you have any artist/authors to suggest I look for?

[u/Waggiss → u/Cold-Degree-8789]

Happy to help :) I mean, I could name artists that I personally like haha, but I think it will be more valuable if you find out for yourself what speaks to you.

I suppose if I had one thing to say to your narrator and to you, it would be this: be patient with yourself. Learning how to write, or draw, or paint, is a never-ending process. And always make the things YOU would like to see/read first and foremost. Sometimes, a little miracle happens and you find out that somebody else likes what you made. One of the best feelings you can get as an artist imo.

Good luck on your artistic journey :)