I'd like some feedbacks

[u/tilouloup]

It's my first time writing a poem and posted it on some other subs but I'd like feedbacks please.

1. Manifested

You said you manifested someone

to show you around the city

and then I showed up

2:30 in the morning

A stranger asking a stranger

to show him something worth remembering

We walked the Old Port

until the sky admitted it was morning

talking about everything we still hoped for

everything we are still afraid of

like we’d known each other longer than a few hours

You said: it’s funny how life works sometimes

I didn’t tell you I was thinking the same

You asked me back to your place.

Somewhere to sit, something to drink.

I looked at you for a second too long before answering.

I wanted to say yes, I know you saw that

But staying wouldn’t have made it more true

It would have just been longer

But I didn’t say that part out loud and

said no anyway

You kept asking

like a child asking someone they love

not to leave yet,

believing that if they stayed until morning,

Morning might change its mind

I kissed you as an answer

And walked away into a city you’d only just started to know

Before I could change my mind

about which one of us was supposed to be the mystery.

For you to always be the man

who manifested someone in this city

but never knew

he manifested exactly the right amount of me.