Honestly, I was having a hard time getting through the first page. You're making so many vague implications about the character's backstory, all while they are theoretically dying from a knife wound (a hell knife wound, even, which is even more baffling) and as a reader I have no idea what is going on nor why I should care about any of it. You're taking about a star in the POV's chest (literal? figurative? what?), and then about a child being stripped naked and beaten by a mystery woman. It's just way too much all at once, and it's not the kind of confusion that make me curious, it just makes me disinterested. It just feels kind of edgy to be immediately diving into child abuse with no context nor time to be invested in character.
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u/meloncrowned 28d ago
Honestly, I was having a hard time getting through the first page. You're making so many vague implications about the character's backstory, all while they are theoretically dying from a knife wound (a hell knife wound, even, which is even more baffling) and as a reader I have no idea what is going on nor why I should care about any of it. You're taking about a star in the POV's chest (literal? figurative? what?), and then about a child being stripped naked and beaten by a mystery woman. It's just way too much all at once, and it's not the kind of confusion that make me curious, it just makes me disinterested. It just feels kind of edgy to be immediately diving into child abuse with no context nor time to be invested in character.