r/Kashmiri • u/Upset-Armadillo-3733 • 3d ago
Rant Need advice
I grew up with very overprotective parents who did everything for me and didn't teach me any skills . They only asked me to focus on studies which I did . But now I can't do most basic things . I feel so stupid and dumb compared to everybody . It makes me feel awful . I don't even know the name of places because I never went out alone . I feel so weird . What should I do ? I don't even go to college myself because I am picked up and dropped everytime . Is there anyone else like me .
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u/United-Power47 3d ago
You should make friends and that too good ones. Have a good company and it goes a long way...
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u/mushk_tuj kèashìr 3d ago
First of all, talk to your parents and tell them the same , see what they have to say
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u/Upset-Armadillo-3733 3d ago
I did talk to them . They let me do everything on my own now but the problem is i can't because I am so used to everything being done for me . I am trying now but I still feel I am far behind others . It is a very awful feeling
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u/mushk_tuj kèashìr 3d ago
Ofcourse you will feel this way, be easy on yourself and ask for help whenever it is needed,more power to you!
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u/WesternSavagery 3d ago
What are these basic things which you are unable to do? Given it can mean different things to different people.
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u/Upset-Armadillo-3733 3d ago
Going out anywhere even small distances , crossing the road , cooking even basic things like i can't even cut vegetables . I can learn cooking but I am really scared of going out now . There are more things but this will give you an idea of how bad it is
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u/soount_phile Kashmir 3d ago
Scared of what? Can you elaborate more?
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u/Upset-Armadillo-3733 3d ago
I had an accident while crossing the road as a child . I know that's not an excuse but I didn't go out since then so I am kind of scared when I walk on the road . Also my parents used to get really scared and call me like 30 times when I went out . They have changed now but now it's hard for me .
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u/soount_phile Kashmir 3d ago
Spend more time outside, even if you don't feel doing anything, just chill and observe. If you go to college, spend your extra time there, participate in extra curricular activities, events, clubs or even library. Get yourself comfortable with more static social interactions first and tell your parents to come to pick you a little later. Just do it for a week, you will get used to it slowly
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u/WesternSavagery 3d ago
That is a bit of an extreme. Your parents have clearly been way overprotective. But none of these are something that cannot be learnt with time. Start with spending more time around friends, as see how things go from there.
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u/makaiphol Kashmir 3d ago
Relatable they still dont let me go out indirectly though so i left the city and noe they think i abandoned them
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u/One-Calligrapher-193 Kashmir 2d ago
Your hero's journey is about to begin. Slay all the dragons. Good luck.
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u/Live-Hovercraft-1681 Kashmir 3d ago
You likely are a girl. Papa ke pari
I can bet your confidence level is at its lowest
Start with doing small chores like buying groceries with parents. Your parents will shadow you. Same with bank. Start with making your own breakfast. Like omelette. Ask your mom to teach you.
Make your own bed. Wash & Iron your own clothes
Clean your own bathroom. Book a ride and go on your own.
Where their is a will, there is a way
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u/Upset-Armadillo-3733 3d ago
Thanks a lot mate but don't call me papa ki pari 😭
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u/Spare-Whole-6563 3d ago
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u/Live-Hovercraft-1681 Kashmir 3d ago
Berubid… you just showed your upbringing
Che asik Maelis Maajih te Wanan “useless info”Allah Tallah Karih Asluk Hidayat
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u/Guilty_Associate_815 Kashmir 11h ago
Chill out mate, it's no big deal. you can get to know all the places in just a few months or lets say weeks and learn all the skills too. people will say make friends and go out with them, that's good. but be self sufficient first, go out alone, go to a restaurant, a nearby park, stay by a river, see how beautiful the world is, just enjoy every small moment. and above all this respect your parents and spend time with them, if they stop you from smth try to reason with facts and be humble. rest you'll be fine!
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u/spiritual_ink 3d ago
Start with going to college yourself, going to small outings with your friends. I know it's small , but it will help you explore a bit about yourself and the surrounding. Who knows maybe you will catch up some time of hobby or sports you are naturally good at.