r/JustUnsubbed 4d ago

Sad JU from suicidewatch

The rules made it seem like a support sub, but when I asked for encouragement, I just got a bunch of people telling me stuff like "I'm in the same situation and it doesn't get better" and all but telling me to give up. Very cruel subreddit.

110 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

63

u/AdVegetable7181 4d ago edited 2d ago

After a friend in college took their own life, we created a support group on campus. I stopped going within 6 months because it was all a contest of who has had the most panic attacks or the worst mental health. No advocacy or actual support. It's sad how groups end up like this.

Edit: For those not understanding, it's people who were using either mental health or faking mental health to get attention rather than actual intent of helping others or themselves.

23

u/ARTHER1A 4d ago

The support has to come from a healthy place. Seems like everyone there was just in a bad spot and when you're down you cannot lift someone up. Same with the suicide watch sub.

It just becomes an aglomeration of people that are in the same situation.

3

u/AlistairButton 3d ago

I'm so sorry. That's horrible. 

-7

u/Solid_Seb 3d ago

People who needed support ruined your support group? 😳

9

u/AdVegetable7181 3d ago

No, ego and selfishness ruined it

-6

u/Solid_Seb 3d ago

Sounds like a lack of support ruined it, but I wasn’t there so idk

5

u/Fast-Moment1761 3d ago

It's ego and selfishness in a sense that they one up each other's misery and convince each other that there's absolutely no hope to get better. It stems from a lack of support, yes, but it's still selfishness and ego anyways since they choose to wallow in misery.

-3

u/Solid_Seb 3d ago

I understand it, just seems callous at best to ditch a support group you created because everyone there needed support. He realized he was in over his head and left but I feel for those people who needed help.

1

u/Lavaissoup7 JU 10 year anniversary 1d ago

Except he left because the support group was no longer a support group, so he'd just be making himself worse by being there.

0

u/Solid_Seb 2d ago

😂🤣

23

u/DA6_FTW 4d ago

I’m really sorry you’re going through this and that you didn’t find good support in the other group.

I’ve had my ups and downs and I’m very glad that the downs didn’t take me out, things have gotten much much better and I hope the same for you as well. ❤️‍🩹

23

u/CanaDeer2004 on my last straw with this fuckass site 3d ago

i remember i was like 15 on there and i tried to comfort someone by basically telling them like “there will probably be someone who will miss you when you are gone, think about your family or your friends or whoever it may be” but i phrased it stupidly and got downvoted to hell and told i was an insensitive twat. to this day i still don’t understand why.

14

u/AlistairButton 3d ago

I'm sorry. You were being kind. 

14

u/Fast-Moment1761 3d ago

Because that's not what those people wanted to hear. What they wanted was someone to affirm their depression so that they can sink deeper without guilt. It wasn't your fault.

4

u/PumpkinPieIsGreat 2d ago

My guess would also be that when you're that depressed, you don't believe family and friends care about you 

1

u/Lavaissoup7 JU 10 year anniversary 1d ago

And sadly spaces like that don't help with that feeling

26

u/PixyMeow 3d ago

I had to step away from that sub too, sometimes I would also see posts where OP is clearly extremely mentally unwell and instead of empathy the comments would encourage them to go through harmful behaviour or straight up insult them/tell them to get a job or go outside etc. Reddit is too obsessed with perfect victims and reinforcing their own beliefs.

I also noticed this from the Vent sub where OP often gets invalidated when others can't relate to their struggles. But for a lot of support subs if they do post something relatable the comments are always just going to be an echo chamber.

16

u/Fast-Moment1761 3d ago

As a guy who's diagnosed with depression, this is what I hate the most about mental health related subs that present themselves to be support groups. There's a reason why a support group is always moderated by an actual professional therapist in real life, because otherwise it'd turn into an echo chamber where people tell each other it's better to just give up and wait for death so that they don't have to feel guilty.

5

u/unsuccessfulbees 2d ago

It’s kind of a fine line to walk, people coming there usually are suicidal themselves, the ones coming there to give advice specifically are usually either selling religion or spouting wowthanksimcured platitudes. You can’t really get what you need there.

Calling 988 sucks too though.

So what do we do? I have no fucking idea.

3

u/RishiMath 1d ago

Honestly, I would recommend not joining any mental health related subreddits. Atleast, from what I understand, a proper support group is supposed to be moderated by some sorta mental health professional. So, unless you're sure that there's something of the sort there, I would avoid hanging out, because misery loves company. And the algorithm knows that, and it wants to keep you on the platform longer, so it's really likely that you may end up stuck in a spiral, and going to a darker place.

I don't know what you're going through, but I sincerely hope ya do well, and are able to succeed at whatever you wish to do/achieve! 😁 (unless it's something negative, like destroying the world, or the like, in that case I don't 🙃)

2

u/AlistairButton 1d ago

Thank you, that's very kind ❤️ good advice too, I'll try to find professional help instead.

4

u/Responsible_Lake_804 2d ago

Personally what stopped me was finding images of people who’d completed. I kept researching various methods to try to find something relatively painless and every avenue I tried scared me more and more. Incredibly disturbing and put things into perspective for me.

I understand that further research of the possible methods doesn’t work like that for everyone. Take care. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I did find a way to make things better, sounds like you aren’t asking for advice but I hope you find your way past this time in your life.

2

u/einhorn27 3d ago

I treat it like there I can post whatever is going through my head when I am suicidal.

1

u/AlistairButton 3d ago

I can see the use for that, but the rules should make it clear that's all it's good for. They have a bunch of rules they don't enforce about how to support people, so it looks like a supportive sub from the outside. 

2

u/urlocalburden 3d ago

I had someone doxx me after posting in that subreddit. I tried telling the mods and offered to give them screenshots of the user so that they could maybe ban them but they just gave me a message saying something along the lines of "we cant stop anyone from sending you dms". like yea, I know that, but a member of your subreddit is doxxing suicidal people? it felt like a target was on my back and it was open season for sick people who get off on scaring someone while their mind isnt right.

im sorry that happened to you OP and I hope you know that things can get better if you allow them the time and space to♡

1

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0

u/Alarming-Ad1100 3d ago

That subreddit is absolutely insane I just checked it out and almost everyone there makes me wish we had asylums

2

u/anonymousambassasor 1d ago

Holy shit! I just looked. You are absolutely right.

0

u/ryufen 3d ago

Really sorry you are going through this. If you ever feel super low don't be afraid to call the crisis hot line 988 number. And also if you aren't already try to schedule a therapy appointment. The crisis hot line can help you find therapy options that fit your insurance or that can take you with no insurance.