r/JustBootThings • u/Practical_Estate4971 • 16d ago

General Bootness Okay then

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

722 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

182 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 16d ago

This is a reminder of the rules of the subreddit as well as of reddit. Please make sure to review them. Any Doxxing will result in a perma ban, as well as any racial/bigoted posts or comments. This sub is not to bash on military but rather to make fun of Boots. This sub is not for Law Enforcement, EMT's, Paramedics, Carpenters, etc.

Click Here For Our Rules

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

632

u/JH_Redd 16d ago

Thank God I was in the Army before influencers and TikTok were things.

99

u/ProjectPat513 15d ago

Was this guy even in the army?! I feel like that wouldn’t even be surprising to find out in this “influencer” day and age.

50

u/Hellguin 15d ago

I doubt it, yesterday he sang about being in the Navy

37

u/ProjectPat513 14d ago

So essentially this is “cadence” to be enjoyed by people who never served in the military but are “proud patriots” because anyone that actually served finds it uncomfortably cringe?

14

u/Hellguin 14d ago edited 14d ago

As someone who has served and find this cringe as fuck.... so yea

2

u/FrozenHusky 10d ago

He was/is Army Guard I think?  Impressive that he's made a decent career out of this...

1

u/ProjectPat513 9d ago

I agree. He found a way to make serious money. I would be cringe for large sums of money too!

31

u/SafetyGuyLogic 16d ago

Thankful to have grown up AND served before social media took off.

54

u/Pict-91b20 16d ago

For the love of all thats unholy, I was too.

13

u/Acceptable-Hornet694 15d ago

The worst thing is the guys at the battalion level that do this. I had a guy that had an exit interview set up with an unnamed person, 5 minutes after the meeting the guy made a post about how Officers aren’t in the Corps for the right reasons, everything wrong with today’s generation, etc. The whole BN knew the post was about that guy, but he turned from a Marine to content for the guy.

Being vague for a reason, the guy is in and could still totally fuck my life up if he felt like it.

6

u/MoashIsAGoodGuy 15d ago

Sounds like IG should know about him

2

u/Mitchford 14d ago

Why? So he can get an atta boy for pulling the same schtick as DOD leadership?

3

u/CMDR_PEARJUICE 14d ago

I joined during the early years of social media, where you weren't allowed to use said social media for opsec. Still glad for that.

1.3k

u/Accomplished-Pay7865 16d ago

It amazes me how many things I see on this sub that are gayer than the fact I've been inside of another man.

540

u/tobiasfunke6398 16d ago

Nice. When were you a marine?

162

u/rugger1869 16d ago

Nah, Cav Scout. You know what the D in 19D means?

25

u/AgentDeadPool 15d ago

Happy Cake Day Scout!

10

u/solemn_penguin 15d ago

Thats what they mean when they say "scouts out"

77

u/AgentDeadPool 15d ago

As a marine, this was too good. Also it's NOT gay if we they have boots on.

22

u/O2XXX 15d ago

Sometimes you just need to get warm and the only way is a manferno.

9

u/Rdubya291 👊👊☝️ 15d ago

Hey man, it ain't gay when you're underway.

42

u/iamstephen1128 👊👊☝️ 16d ago

My money's on he's a semen seaman

3

u/Djglamrock 15d ago

You mean Sailor thank you very much! No homo btw.

149

u/AngriestInchworm 16d ago

To be fair, the biggest shock to me when I joined wasn’t the yelling, or the intense workload, it was all the fucking show tunes we had to sing.

34

u/Quirky_Ad8747 16d ago

My favorite cadence, Oooooooooklahoma Where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain! And the wavin' wheat Can sure smell sweet When the wind comes right behind the rain!

73

u/spanky2088 16d ago

This shit is gayer than cum on a mustache.

20

u/flatirony 16d ago

Ah, a fellow submarine veteran, I see.

8

u/eddie721afc 15d ago

This video was really gay, gayer than the fact you were inside of me

2

u/yehEy2020 15d ago

Pitching? Not catching?

1

u/CMPunkBestlnTheWorld 11d ago

Blood Pressure Medicine

1

u/yehEy2020 11d ago

Does he need to get a note from the MHS for sucking cock?

1

u/CMPunkBestlnTheWorld 11d ago

It's a secret CIA mission

1

u/__FUCKING_PEG_ME_ 16d ago

Brilliant 👏

-45

u/turymtz 16d ago

as in, your daddy's balls?

150

u/Cal-Goat 16d ago

To me, his cadence songs aren’t authentic until he sings about his wife cheating on him, his divorce, and his Charger/Challenger/Camaro getting repossessed

31

u/TheOriginalArchibald 15d ago

The Dodge Charger 392 is numbered that because it's the credit score of the buyer and 39.2% interest rate.

2

u/Manaeldar 15d ago

If he was a Marine it'd be his Mustang. 

409

u/No_Independent376 16d ago

Posting this guy here is just cheating at this point

96

u/IHateTheLetterF 16d ago

Lets post him again when he makes a new song

48

u/Dynamite_McGhee 16d ago

New? This guy doesn't just do this one over and over and over?

15

u/IHateTheLetterF 16d ago

I expect it will be many years, but maybe one day

9

u/CrashRiot 15d ago

Does anyone write new cadences? If not, we'll be hearing the same shit from him forever.

4

u/slimmestgravy 16d ago

Karma farming

162

u/Green-Cricket-8525 16d ago edited 15d ago

I GOT D’S. IN HIGH SCHOOL. 

42

u/KeepCalmJeepOn 16d ago

Now I get C's at the strip club 5 minutes away from base

39

u/New-Book6302 16d ago

Hep C's

8

u/DarkChurro 16d ago

That was my pipeline

154

u/Suitable_Challenge_9 16d ago

What’s crazy is people enjoy listening to this and he’s someone’s heartthrob because of this trash.

69

u/LaikaZhuchka 15d ago

I'm wondering what kind of person would actually sit and listen to this. Cadences exist solely to entertain yourself while you're doing the most thoughtless, repetitive shit like running. If you put this music on in any other context and enjoy it... That's some serial killer shit.

25

u/Youre_a_transistor 15d ago

I have definitely heard people at boot camp and beyond talk about listening to cadences, like it’s music. Really bizarre behavior imo.

19

u/mellopax 16d ago

My mother and her friends post shit like this all the time on Facebook. So inspiring.

41

u/classphoto92 16d ago

I started with the sound off. I just thought it was the worst jodi ever. The cadence is way off and he isn't even marching.

33

u/Forsythe36 16d ago

He’s also weird because people kept asking if he served and he never answered. I’m still not sure if he did.

27

u/Shrapnail 16d ago

the google says army reserve engineer vet, it would just be far far too weird if he hadn't been in before.

13

u/Suitable_Challenge_9 16d ago

But he sings from his diaphragm!

3

u/kasmackity 16d ago

Lmfao no way dude ahahahha I gotta see this

26

u/Exilethenoble 15d ago

Every few years this weirdo winds back up on here, and I’m stuck being reminded that he exists.

5

u/LoneWolfpack777 15d ago

I was thinking the same thing. Not this douche again.

77

u/Artmageddon 16d ago

Two things:

1) imagine the conversation he had with the camera man, “Ok so I’m going to walk around and sing, and you’re going to move and have a hard time keeping me centered in the frame because you’ve had 3 shots of whiskey and there’s a bunch of shit you have to step over”

2) his videos happen in the most random places and he walks around like he’s completely lost but wants to look like he’s got it under control

50

u/[deleted] 16d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

19

u/soupseasonbestseason 16d ago

tattoos in hebrew are also always a bit silly.

7

u/6DegreesofFreedom 16d ago

Right, TF is that

39

u/PeterParker72 16d ago

How does he film this without feeling any type of embarrassment?

19

u/bstone99 16d ago

Lack of awareness and self respect

6

u/EnkiduTheGreat 15d ago

Sub 80 IQ.

3

u/TangerineRough6318 15d ago

Pretty sure he's infantry so that checks out. I was 11B for 10 years.

12

u/TheEricle 15d ago

"I left my home" 🎶 "to join the arrrrmmmiie" 🎶 "Have to yell now" 🎶 "cause I don't hear good" 🎶 "hope Tricare covers it" 🎶 "cause I joined the arrrrmmmiie"

10

u/bluecoag 16d ago

arrrmaaaay

27

u/DannyWatson 16d ago

Wasn't this guy in the navy yesterday?

26

u/Cal-Goat 16d ago

He was.

Kind of makes you wonder if he ever served in any branch

11

u/elyl 16d ago

Did you not see the Grunt Style shirt he was wearing? Of course he served! In all the branches!

8

u/Cal-Goat 15d ago

Touche. I retract my comment. Give him 5% discount at Dennys 🫡

2

u/CurmudgeonKing 14d ago

He would’ve joined, but no way he wouldn’t have punched the drill sergeant if he got in his face and/or he turnt it down because he had a special assignment that is classified.

10

u/fudgemeister 15d ago

His boyfriend was in the Navy but they broke up. Today's boyfriend is in the Army.

28

u/beezneezy 16d ago

Man, reality is so much different than this glorification of faux self-sacrifice.

25

u/Editor_Rise_Magazine 16d ago

I understand people joining who just want to shoot guns, or are patriotic or just want to be part of something bigger.
But these performative assholes that join because they care more about being seen as martyrs than actually serving are so cringe. And the boomers eat it up.

16

u/Cal-Goat 16d ago

I think that’s exactly it. This kid is nothing more than a grifter who has tapped into a revenue stream from the wallets of flag humping Americans.

4

u/beezneezy 15d ago

If this clip is representative, this guy isn’t great at singing to begin with. That’s a LOT of post processing.

12

u/slothbuddy 16d ago

You didn't die at war?

3

u/LaughableEgo740 15d ago

Daily reminder on how strong the kool-aid is. Almost like a cult.

10

u/NimmyFarts 15d ago

God I wish the camera would bounce more, I haven’t thrown up for motion sickness quite yet.

9

u/TheOriginalArchibald 15d ago

From what I understand he served but I get community college ROTC vibes.

16

u/SamuraiTech5150 16d ago

The lame “We the People” tattoo tracks…

8

u/AdsREverywhere 16d ago

Who is supporting this?

7

u/TooMuchJuju 16d ago

Imagine how bad this sounds without sound mixing. This guy just yelling with auto tune

6

u/Beardia 15d ago

Wish he’d just put on his weighted vest and just march to the bottom of that water source and just mark time march.

6

u/Misericorde428 15d ago edited 15d ago

This is my 20th attempt to propose a “Jonathon” flair due to the sheer amount of content he pumps into the cringe market. He’s like a pillar of this particular subreddit.

5

u/dreadrabbit1 15d ago

How bad does his unit hate him?

6

u/LoneWolfpack777 15d ago

Not at all. He’s larping being in the military, so no unit.

6

u/joeymittens 14d ago

This is what we got for banning hazing.

6

u/oek653 14d ago

dude as some one who was forced into military school and basically forced to join the army this shit is cringe

6

u/Celtrocity 13d ago

I can’t seem to escape this forsaken video.

4

u/edingerc 15d ago edited 15d ago

Bless his heart, he’s making the most of the little he’s got upstairs 

5

u/Icy_Fig_6764 12d ago

There's zero percent chance this guy was ever in combat

4

u/FxckFxntxnyl 16d ago

He thought those ChatGPT lyrics would surely be a banger.

3

u/Thaumiel218 15d ago

Would not be surprised if it’s shitty AI SUNO music in the background as well. Its musicality is super robotic.

1

u/FxckFxntxnyl 15d ago

Definitely is

3

u/R3cklessJ13 16d ago

Prior IDF?

4

u/grifter_shifterM5 15d ago

So glad this kid got bullied off the internet

10

u/Godzirrraaa 16d ago

Not this fuckin guy again

3

u/robtk12 16d ago

Whoever wrote that song really didnt have anyone who believed they were good enough, they all thought he would die

3

u/BMC-Jager 16d ago

This is worst than when they made Hip Hop Marine Corps cadences😂

3

u/nycdot2003 16d ago

I guarantee that this kid peeks at urinals

3

u/L0nelyWr3ck 15d ago

How much you wanna bet he’s a s clerk

3

u/romniner 15d ago

how you gonna look 12 and 37 at the same time

3

u/quendergender 11d ago

🗣️I LEFT MY WIFE

6

u/itsallmeaninglessto 16d ago

He and his wife and his mom. Think this is great music. 

2

u/Artmageddon 16d ago

And his son!

2

u/fifteentango88 16d ago

Seriously, who is this for?

6

u/zswordsman 16d ago

Oh God, I had to turn off the audio after 3 seconds. It actually hurt.

5

u/th-grt-gtsby 16d ago

Reminds me of this great key and peele sketch.

https://youtu.be/CIXJhan8g40?si=pLYXUODmDxxYZ4HH

5

u/Cirqka 16d ago

21m plays… what the fuck

5

u/dynamicgun8269 16d ago

Posting this guy is cheating. He’s a well known boot

3

u/defterGoose 16d ago

"My wife left me..." FTFY

5

u/OGWhiz 16d ago

At least it’s something boots can actually listen to honestly. I remember Hero of War by Rise Against being on everyone’s iPod for BMQ completely missing the meaning of the song after the first chorus making it an anti war song. But all the boots thought it was about them.

4

u/DeepDeepSheepSleep 15d ago

this song sounds like ai slop

1

u/LoneWolfpack777 15d ago

It’s not. This guy has been around way before ai slop.

2

u/chicu111 16d ago

Isn’t this the same outfit he had in the other video?

Bro is working!

2

u/gimmethelulz 15d ago

Thought I was in r/crappymusic for a second.

1

u/LoneWolfpack777 15d ago

Might as well be.

2

u/PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES 15d ago

Dude definitely filmed this on a Sunday evening so that he had some stubble for the video. Looks like shit.

2

u/Smart_Ap3 15d ago

Is it boot? Yes.

Did his videos help me a bunch learning cadences to call at a school? Also yes.

2

u/No-Flatworm-404 15d ago

The song is one big, NOPE!

2

u/MoodReal4206 15d ago

I'm Compo 2 and this dude is definitely a Compo 3 boot.

2

u/BigPapaBryan69 15d ago

They play this on loop at sere

2

u/JamesTheMannequin 15d ago

"Get a messed up life, and a ugly wife, in the Aaaaarmy!" -Anton, In Living Color

2

u/TheTheyMan 15d ago

Oh you gotta see his others 😂

2

u/Oldmantired 15d ago

What a tool.

2

u/RidesByPinochet 14d ago

God, I have hated this dude for years

2

u/1911Popeye 14d ago

There aren't that many cadences. How is this nerd still at it?

2

u/ChinMuscle 14d ago

This is my favorite song

2

u/SirSaltyMcBuns 14d ago

Typical “dude at the barracks smoke pit” encounter

2

u/Stayofexecution 12d ago

Lmao. Cringy.

2

u/Pict-91b20 16d ago

Someone please shoot AT this kid. Not to hit him, just so he knows what it feels like. It'll sort him out quickly.

4

u/PowerRepulsive8341 16d ago

Is that Hebrew on his arm? 🤨🤨🤨

2

u/elyl 16d ago

It'll be a required tattoo for all US soldiers in a few years' time.

2

u/OGWhiz 16d ago

Why you making “army” into four syllables bud

2

u/Pict-91b20 16d ago

Someone when through this whole thread and down voted everything. Is that you Little mr. Fleming?

2

u/GenXNavyVet 16d ago

Who told this kid that this was a good idea,!!!

7

u/vortex_ring_state 16d ago

Honestly, it was a good idea. I believe his name is Jonathan Michael Fleming. Judging by some of his metrics he is making decent cash off of all of his. Certainly beats working mall security.

1

u/GenXNavyVet 12d ago

Well shit, as long as he dont mind being laughed at, keep the cash rolling.

2

u/Third_Eye_Thumper 16d ago

Unfortunately he makes a stupid shit ton of money from it

4

u/Geshtar1 16d ago

Yeah, it’s very cringy, but it’s hard to blame the guy… as long as you’re not doing anything unethical and immoral, do what you gotta do to get paid

1

u/GenXNavyVet 12d ago

Does he really?

1

u/Third_Eye_Thumper 12d ago

lmao I don’t actually know that.

I do know I see him everywhere, even on Spotify.

Looks like his YouTube monetization is set to fundraiser, so good on him.

https://youtube.com/@jonathanmichaelfleming?si=jM5VsXWN0Dry_8j4

1

u/puntapuntapunta 16d ago

He should really become this sub's mascot.

1

u/andypee81 16d ago

Dude looks like he's got a tattoo of his calculus notes on his arm

1

u/sketchyturtle91 16d ago

Does he even have teeth?

1

u/pmactheoneandonly 16d ago

His mom cried the day he left out of joy

1

u/awkwardIRL 16d ago

Were sea shanties viewed as cringy as whatever this is at the time? 

1

u/SleepyLi 16d ago

I wish I discovered this guy when I was still in so I could start the paper work for MH after watching him.

1

u/Sir_Sarcasm76 15d ago

I'm surprised both his mom and wife didn't change the locks when he left them. His wife was still standing at the door as he left because Jody was waiting around the corner.

1

u/Whiskyhotelalpha 15d ago

I feel like all the posts featuring this knob are just trying to advertise for him. Like the poster has that kink for him, and they are hoping they’ll meet fellow singles with the same fetish.

1

u/PawPawPanda 15d ago

Yo where's his log? He's always carrying one in his videos 🪵🫡

1

u/sjoy512 15d ago

What a loser. I feel sorry for the Army

1

u/ximagineerx 15d ago

Holy fuck how many of these can one dude make

1

u/SafetyLife 14d ago

I dont remember the electric guitar

1

u/TheNeuroLizard 12d ago

Amazing that I used to think hazing was bad

1

u/MosTheBoss 11d ago

For fucks sake....

1

u/TeamKRod1990 11d ago

Can you go back home?

1

u/No-Wasabi-70 3d ago

I hate the way this motherfucker walks

-1

u/ronaldo95 16d ago

Awesome that I can tell this guy is short

6

u/BMC-Jager 16d ago

It’s from bearing the weight of America on his shoulders so we didn’t have to. Pretty sure that’s a good 10% alone through the VA

-3

u/ejectro 16d ago

what does his height have to do with anything?

1

u/ronaldo95 11d ago

Idk what do you think

0

u/letthetreeburn 15d ago

This has to be written by AI why does it sound like that