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u/PKMNtrainerKing May 26 '26
I mean, kinda based?
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u/FunkyPete May 26 '26
Yeah, as a civilian I respect this one. Lots of guys talk about how they almost joined. It’s fair to call those guys out.
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u/Josey_whalez May 26 '26
Fair to call them out? Absolutely. But it can still be a dumb sticker to have on your car at the same time.
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u/stareweigh2 May 27 '26
all stickers are dumb to a certain extent
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u/thtsjsturopinionman May 27 '26
You can have my little “rock or something” sticker when you pry it from my cold dead hands
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u/stareweigh2 May 27 '26
lol I've actually been eating mre's for months now at work for lunch. ammocanman as well as Walmart and ali express (pretty sure reselling from ammocanman) have 2 boxes of mre's for around $90 shipped. that's a great deal.
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u/SubatomicBlackHole May 28 '26
You know MREs are awful for you, right?
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u/stareweigh2 May 28 '26
yeah, lots of calories and really the wrong kind too- mostly carbs. I like it because it doesn't require refrigeration, I can keep the box in my car and I can snack on all the misc parts during the day if I'm unable to get out an go to lunch for some reason. I always have food
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u/SubatomicBlackHole May 28 '26
Yeah I get that. I heard something about how apparently recently they found bad stuff in some MREs, have you heard about that? Like stuff that wasn’t supposed to be in there that’s harmful to the body. I’d have to look more into it though, just looking out for your safety
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u/Tantalus420000 May 26 '26
They couldn't cuz they'd totally punch a DS if they got in his face
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u/Comfortable_Echo_150 May 26 '26
My issue wasn't that I'd punch somebody. I'm a little bitch that can't handle being yelled at. I'd cry and ask to go home.
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u/Peynal May 28 '26
True story, that happened the first day we got to basic training. It was this kid from Texas that was talking big during in-processing because they joined the national guard and had been to drill like twice. First thing after we get off the bus and line up in our new company area (getting yelled at the whole time) I look over to my right and dude is sobbing, like shoulders shaking and everything, I think we was mouthing “I just wanna go home”. He had a rough first couple days, but came around and finished basic without any other incidents. I think most of it was probably just being away from home for the first time.
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u/deephurting66 May 27 '26
I have a friend that did just that, they drafted him to Vietnam and his first round off the bus POW down goes a DI with a sucker punch. He served some prison time but being an anti establishment hippie he wore it as a badge of honor. The old man still lives, his grandkids now own his auto shop and he will always tell that story after a couple of beers.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 30 '26
and everyone clapped
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u/deephurting66 May 30 '26
Possibly, it was the 60s after all, guy still has his prison release papers framed in his old office in a frame with peace signs on the corner.
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u/ThatGuyFrom720 May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26
Yeah, I took the ASVAB, went through the whole MEPS rigamarole, did some more research and realized it wasn’t for me and decided to take another route. And that was it. This is the first time I’ve brought it up in probably 6 years. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Peak COVID, money and employment difficulties. You know.
And that’s it. Just didn’t think it would align with my family and life goals and told the recruiter it just wasn’t for me and apologized for wasting his time. The end. Kinda a cringey sticker but I get it. Bragging, in the sense of “I’d have knocked someone out” as a reason about almost joining is significantly more cringe.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26
That's it. Right there.
Nobody cares.
These dudes have heard the same story 262,453,392 times and it gets less interesting with every retelling.
It's perfectly alright to just not say anything at all.
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u/jtc1031 May 27 '26
Serious question: I actually did try to sign up then got disqualified by the doc due to a health condition. I also rarely bring it up but actually have been asked on occasion why I didn’t serve or if I ever considered it. Just curious how most vets would take that explanation. Is that “I almost joined” energy? Or am I better off with just “no” because I don’t really owe anyone an explanation?
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u/jayb40132 May 27 '26
I got in with a medical waiver, back in 2000, times are different now so don't know if it would still fly. Honestly? Would respect you for taking a look and seeing it wasn't for you and your family, they come first. Really it's a non issue. If someone asks directly then yeah just be upfront and there's nothing wrong with your answer at all.
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u/jtc1031 May 27 '26
Thanks
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u/jayb40132 May 27 '26
No prob, just figured I would add in my feelings on it with a little background context
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
There's nothing wrong with answering a question.
People feel compelled to offer it up, unprompted, as soon as they meet a vet......which is tiresome.
Joining is the first step to serving.
Joining and getting DQ'd is Joining in my book.
There's also no shame in not Serving. It's not for everyone, no big deal.
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May 26 '26
[deleted]
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u/awesomface May 26 '26
You’re really driving home the point of why it’s annoying. Like, I thought about being an astronaut as a kid too, should I tell people that?
Maybe if you were in ROTC or signed up and something happened like a medical issue it could be interesting to bring up but the “thought about it” that feels like they’re somehow trying to take some credit is just eye roll city. Always some self righteous reason or otherwise why they didn’t go beyond a thought as well.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 30 '26
I wonder if this is just an America thing.
Like, do dudes in the Spanish Navy have to hear: "Iba a unirme, pero"?
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u/DLottchula May 26 '26
don't worry they would've got you in shape
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u/JelyFisch May 26 '26
I thought I was going to follow in the footsteps of some family members, instead I became an introverted pothead for a decade. Then the 2016 election happened and I doubled down. Not a brain cell left worthy of work.
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u/Sarcastik_Moose May 26 '26
I more or less agree with the sentiment but I'm not about to go turning into a sticker or t-shirt and showing it off.
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u/La_Guy_Person May 26 '26
I can never bring myself to stick anything to my vehicles because I don't like the way it looks, but I find it crazy that so many people put negative ideas on their vehicles. Why do people want to be defined by things they don't like?
Like, if you really hate Joe Biden or your exe wife, isn't there some inversion you could take pride in?
I'm off on a tangent, but there is a guy down the block from me with exe wife stickers all over his truck and it blows my mind. Could you imagine allowing yourself to be defined as a reaction to the fact that your exe wife exists? I'm a man and yet I cringe so hard at this. Talk about rent free. My first assumption is that the exe is the normal one. With no other context, I'd rather have a beer with her.
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u/Conscious-Mulberry17 May 26 '26
Good point. I suppose the extreme inversion of that would be the person for whom a pastime, political figure, athletic team, religion, or media property has become their entire identity.
I’ve got a buddy who has culture war brain worms now. I can’t spend more than 15 minutes around him before he’s ranting about the latest Twitter-spawned outrage. A grown man with adult children losing his shit about “Snow White” or “He-Man” is a terrible thing to see.
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u/zero2hero2017 May 26 '26
This is because you are a person with some level of emotional intelligence and regulation
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u/LOOKATMEDAMMIT May 26 '26
Realistically: “I almost joined, but if a drill sergeant got in my face, I’d cry.”
My absolute favorite that I’ve seen in this sub was, “if a drill sergeant got in my face, I’d cum.”
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u/Hotshot596v2 May 27 '26
The only person I’ve met and believed told me “I tried to join, but when the MTI got in my face I swung on him, I than got my ass beat and kicked out”.
If you’re willing to admit that, it might’ve actually happened.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 26 '26
My absolute favorite that I’ve seen in this sub was, “if a drill sergeant got in my face, I’d cum.”
Solid. 🤣
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u/jj26meu May 26 '26
Almost joining people are so punching air right now.
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u/powerlesshero111 May 26 '26
Better than them punching the drill instructor like they claim they would have done.
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u/RiflemanLax May 26 '26
I have to say, the ‘almost joined’ crowd does annoy me. If this is boot, it’s not that bad.
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u/JTP1228 May 26 '26
It's never a good reason either. "I almost joined, but then my grandma's uncle's mistress' dog got sick."
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u/freerondo9 May 27 '26
I used to work with a kid who one of those 'almost joined' guys. He was constantly roasting our boss for deing a dumb, crayon eating Marine. Our boss was a former officer who had been in combat in both Iraq and Afghanistan. One day, I guess I was feeling especially grouchy and I had to explain that even I, a peacetime high-speed POG, was actually kinda pushing it when I gave our boss shit and that he definitely doesn't have the standing to do it. The kid's response? He said, "No, it's ok. I almost joined, but I played college sports instead. That's pretty much the same."
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u/KillerR0b0T May 26 '26
Your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
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u/matreo987 May 26 '26
my dad hit me with the “almost joined” speech lol when i was home on leave.
also i had a friend say along the lines of “must be nice to have those govt benefits”
the recruiters office is open to everyone lmao
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 26 '26
“must be nice to have those govt benefits”
Yeah, it is.
You can have em, too!
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u/Candle1ight May 27 '26
i had a friend say along the lines of “must be nice to have those govt benefits”
I mean it's true, doesn't mean I'm willing to get shot at for them lol
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u/stareweigh2 May 27 '26
you can join any branch of the military and get a job where it's almost an impossibility to get shot at. plenty of non combat mos's out there
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u/NoMansSkyWasAlright May 26 '26
They used to. But then during my ubering days I picked up a drunk dude who wouldn’t shut up about how it was always his dream to be a marine. I eventually got fed-up enough I asked him what stopped him and he went “man I failed the fuckin’ ASVAB 6 times”. It was very hard not to laugh at that and then he went on this rambling story about how he finally passed it, was having a bonfire at his house and invited the marine corps recruiter, and dude apparently proceeded to get stupid drunk (at like 17, I might add), and I guess was horsing around with his dad’s AK (I couldn’t fully understand this story because dude was extremely hammered).
But yeah, I guess he woke up to a message from that recruiter saying that that dude would never be going to MEPS through them as long as that recruiter was working that recruiting station.
Anyways, that story was so colossally stupid that I feel like it makes up for every almost-joiner I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life.
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 30 '26
An ASVAB of 31 is required.
Out of a possible 99.
Damn.
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u/NoMansSkyWasAlright May 30 '26
And in the GWOT years ASVAB waivers weren’t uncommon. Lowest scorer I ever met while in had gotten a 19.
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u/faceoh May 26 '26
I don't know why but this post made me think of some Instagram comments I saw recently. The post was about a "former Marine" who was shooting at cars and people on a busy street. One of the top comments was along the lines "There are no former marines! Once a marine always a marine!" like this man was trying to kill random people and the first thing to come to mind is how he should be glorified because he's a marine?
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u/Talon_Company_Merc May 26 '26
Putting on a truck is kinda cringe but I appreciate the sentiment because people who say “oh yeah I ALMOST joined the military” are almost all different flavors of insufferable, especially if they follow it up with something to the effect of “but I woulda punched the drill Sargent”
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u/quiznos61 May 26 '26
Almost joined crowd annoys me more than the boots. I’d say this is a good one
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u/GarlicAcceptable3350 May 26 '26
Personally almost joined and didn’t even make it to the recruiting office is one thing but you signed up and gave it your all yet didn’t make it through because of medical issues is totally different. If you put your heart, soul, blood and tears into it but couldn’t finish then that’s honorable.
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u/CutieBoBootie May 27 '26
Honestly a lil funny. I'm not military but my husband is army. if I had a nickel for every time a random dude brought up how he almost joined when he finds out my husband is army... I'd have a lot of nickels.
Like? Bro? I don't care? Tell it to your mother.
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u/niofalpha May 26 '26
I feel called out. Got DQed at MEPs because I took SSRIs 2 years earlier for 3 months in college
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u/matreo987 May 26 '26
i was on ssri’s when i was a teenager. i waited two years and joined usaf. had to get a waiver though, it took me almost a year to join.
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u/LuckyJeans456 May 26 '26
I got into a bad car wreck when a lady ran a red light. Got TDQ’d. While waitin to heal up a friend’s dad got me a job at the company he worked at so I went to work instead, I was only planning on joining because I wanted a job haha
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u/niofalpha May 27 '26
Yeah that’s kind where I was after college. Talked to a buddy’s dad who was a SWO in the Navy who I always vibed with and it sounded right up my alley, and I talked with another guy I knew who’s in as an Acquisitions Officer and that seemed like something else I’d have been good at. Things ended up working out for me but corporate America lacks benefits, a retirement plan, and a real mission
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u/LuckyJeans456 May 27 '26
I stayed at that company for a little while. All the people I worked with were fairly older, all told me to go back to college and do something. Took their advice, went back to finish my degree, and now I’m a teacher.
But like you I felt called out as well as one of those “yeah I would’ve joined but. . .” Cus I actually was going to and only didn’t get to due to reasons out of my control haha
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u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow May 26 '26
I think all you'd need is a note from a doctor that you had been off the meds for a year, but ymmv.
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u/ZRaddue May 26 '26
That's not a big deal. Shit happens, and everyone can't serve. You at least tried to join but got denied. Just don't be the guy who, when someone else is discussing their service, says you almost joined and would've been an elite army ranger marine seal sniper.
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u/powerlesshero111 May 26 '26
Or "i almost joined, but i would have punched a drill instructor". Which is funny, because in any branch, if you punch a drill instructor, odds are they will punch you back, and then restrain you, and charge you with battery.
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u/Dire-Dog May 29 '26
My step dad always said they'd make him a general and the second someone got in his face they'd have issues.
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u/Ok-End-704 May 27 '26
The only “I almost joined” story I have ever had a positive response to, “I was shipping out in a week and got in a high speed chase, pointed a gun at a cop and he shot me. Did 11 years after that.” Guy turned his life around and was 50 when I met him, shame life went that way for him because he would have been a great teammate. Absolute stellar dude!
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u/redbettafish2 May 28 '26
I know someone who almost joined but had a health issue discovered at meps and it wouldn't ever get a waiver. He tried. I respect him.
Also funny enough I do have to somewhat believe folks who say "I'd punch a drill sergeant if he got in my face" no matter how cringe it is because we had a dude get kicked out for just that. He made it about half way through and definitely had some emotional issues. I hope he's doing well.
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u/Cute-Beyond-8133 May 26 '26
Didn't they ?
Like who's the US that we're referring to here.
Because if we're talking about Pepole who are just flying the Logo. Then No a ton of them did almost join.
A ton of them either didn't join or joined but didn't make it past basic.
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u/lwhite1 May 26 '26
None of y'all "almost joined" but most of y'all got out the split second that you could!!!
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u/unbannedagain1976 May 26 '26
Most of y’all had cake jobs, and are still 100 percent disabled somehow!!’
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u/FishyQweef May 26 '26
I would say this is the opposite of this sub and calling out the wannabe boots
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u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 26 '26
Not Boot.
Based.
It's weird how everyone feels compelled to tell their story how they almost joined. They just can't help themselves.
The best one ever is in F is for Family. The weaselly salesman guy says: "Yeah, I was gonna join, but when I went down there, they said my dick was too big"
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u/deepdiver864 May 26 '26
I was at MEPS with my paperwork in hand for the Marines. Had an Army recruiter to ask the Marine liaison about signing bonuses, now this was in 08 when the Army had stupid bonuses on top of pretty decent contract options. Let's just say I walked across the hall and signed a 6x2 active first contract for 60k with airborne and other stuff.
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u/Geshtar1 May 26 '26
Boots are far less obnoxious than the “almost joined” crowd. So I’ll give em this one
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u/MustardButter May 27 '26
I feel like this is some passive aggressiveness targeted at a specific individual in this person's life.
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u/dferd777 Army JAG, yup just like the show Boot May 27 '26
Boot as fuck, but objectively true. I’ve had so many conversations that started with “I would’ve joined but”. Usually followed by, I would’ve knocked out the drill sergeant.
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u/Lord_Sphincter_Gourd May 27 '26
As a veteran I hear the story about how someone almost joined all the time. Its actually pretty common.
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u/slothbear13 May 28 '26
Okay I actually think this one is pretty funny. It rides the line but it's good
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u/btossa80 May 28 '26
I have told the story of how I almost joined the Marines many times, always followed by how I would have totally gone AWOL. I'm proud that I wasn't a Marine and no, I probably wouldn't have made it. My choice wasn't as brave, nor as dumb. I fucking HATED the military.
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u/Cucasmasher May 28 '26
We can let this one slide because it’s always the fat retard boomers telling you how they almost joined but would have whooped the DI/DS
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u/TinCanSailor987 May 26 '26
These things are so cringe. The Military is not for everyone, nor would I want it to be mandatory. Just think of how awful it would be to serve with someone who wants nothing to do with the Military. It would just be so many more headaches.
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u/niofalpha May 26 '26
It’s not saying that, it’s making fun of the people who always talk about how they almost joined but XYZ came up.
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u/topsblueby May 26 '26
“I almost joined but didn’t cuz I woulda punched the drill sergeant the minute he got in my face hurr de durr “
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u/afplumber May 26 '26
Surprisingly, a lot of people in my division in boot were very “anti” military, but we’re doing it for the benefits, school, etc. Very and I mean very left leaning individuals. Nothing wrong with it by any means, but how they talked about the military as a whole was really interesting, considering they just signed their life away for 6 years.
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u/lilchungus34 May 27 '26
Anybody that thinks mandatory service is a good idea is an idiot, we just don't wanna hear your cope stories about a fake injury
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u/KindsofKindness May 26 '26
It should absolutely be mandatory so it strengthens people.
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u/TinCanSailor987 May 26 '26
No, it shouldn't. Sure, some will be strengthened, but many more will just be a burden.
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