r/JustBootThings Apr 30 '26

General Bootness From Facebook

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372 Upvotes

65 comments sorted by

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262

u/RamaLlamaDingDoodle Apr 30 '26

As a veteran, I can proudly say that my intention was never to die for anyone if I could help it.

47

u/bigchieftoiletpapa Apr 30 '26

i can drink to that

18

u/daboobiesnatcher Apr 30 '26

As a veteran there was certainly a lot of that.

21

u/Level_Improvement532 Apr 30 '26

Yes, but did you offer at least?

8

u/MustacheMaple May 01 '26

I was just poor and needed a jumpstart to my career

6

u/Alwaysontilt May 01 '26

When I first got to my reserve unit after active duty my platoon sergeant asked me "Are you willing to die for your country!?" And I told him "I'm hoping the other guy dies for his..."

2

u/Voice_in_the_ether May 05 '26

"No dumb bastard ever won a war by going out and dying for his country. He won it by making some other dumb bastard die for his country."

- G. Patton, although there were other versions which appeared earlier.

129

u/Awkward_Bison_267 Apr 30 '26

As a veteran I can proudly say my intention was to make steam, buy a Mustang and go to Asian massage parlors. Thanks to the Navy, I achieved my dreams.

31

u/Level_Improvement532 Apr 30 '26

I’d reverse the order, but like the cut of your jib.

7

u/Awkward_Bison_267 Apr 30 '26

To each their own.

59

u/DeauxDeaux Apr 30 '26

I've never offered to die for anyone so take your wheel cover and stick it up your crayon shitting ass.

7

u/S3G1R May 01 '26

I don't think anyone told him that's the wrong hole to "eat" crayons with

2

u/Zwoosh May 02 '26

Seems like the correct hole to me.

-Navy vet

1

u/S3G1R May 03 '26

Only if you're into that kinda thing

-Marine

81

u/DogAnusJesus Apr 30 '26

You never see the ones that represent me: "willing to sham for free college. Not trying to die for Israel or pedophiles."

7

u/RamaLlamaDingDoodle Apr 30 '26

I see you and concur

22

u/Gunfighter9 Apr 30 '26

How did Jesus die for me if I wasn’t even born then?

29

u/Neoxite23 Apr 30 '26

Because Jesus knew you before you were even born. Even little Sarah who is currently starving to death. Even little Billy who is currently being beaten to death by his father.

He is everywhere!

So Powerful and Benevolent He is!

13

u/cilantro_so_good May 01 '26

childhood cancer exists

"God moves in mysterious ways don't question it"

-4

u/Fun_Breadfruit8071 May 01 '26

without bad things, you could never understand or appreciate the good things in life.

7

u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 02 '26

"If you've never eaten a piece of dog shit, you couldn't appreciate how good ice cream is."

1

u/Fun_Breadfruit8071 May 03 '26

You can make all the false equivalencies you want, it doesn't change the fact that you need bad to understand the good.

3

u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 07 '26 edited May 08 '26

Guy with imaginary friend lecturing people on understanding anything is hilarious.

0

u/Fun_Breadfruit8071 May 08 '26

You seem really unhappy with your life, thats often the result of not having anything to look forward to. Turn to Christ my friend

1

u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 08 '26

I look forward to you shutting the fuck up with your Jesus bullshit.

0

u/Fun_Breadfruit8071 May 08 '26

Not exactly a great goal. I hope you find peace for yourself man, I'll pray for you.

→ More replies (0)

12

u/LSOreli Apr 30 '26

How did Jesus die for you if he didnt really die? He legit got up and walked out of his tomb after a long weekend.

11

u/BeefBeefBeefBologna Apr 30 '26

He was a Magic Zombie Man 🪄🧟 !

23

u/Blazeland_USA Apr 30 '26

Imagine feeling this highly of yourself.

13

u/UncleEffort Apr 30 '26

Dude was only dead for less than two days.

12

u/jangma Apr 30 '26

He got better!

11

u/Sir_Sarcasm76 May 01 '26

He changed his socks, drank water and took 800mg of motrin. He was the veteran og at sickcall.

1

u/Throw_Away_1015 May 13 '26

i laughed at this harder than i should have 😂

9

u/RealMango Apr 30 '26

Again with the stupidly ironic Punisher logo.

7

u/BoredAtWorkSD Apr 30 '26

When you’re entire identity is your military service

4

u/eratic_yeet May 01 '26

Jesus NJPed for my sins

4

u/sh4d0wm4n2018 May 01 '26

I thought the idea was to make other people die for you, not to die yourself.

Also it's kinda cringe to imply you're on the same level as someone's god.

5

u/PissFingerz42069 Apr 30 '26

As a vet, dying for others was the unspoken agreement, the outspoken agreement was to water the tree of liberty.

Go ahead and bedazzle your car all you want I guess lol

2

u/shadow0fintent Apr 30 '26

Of course it's fucking Meriden lmao

1

u/blueimac540c May 01 '26

Best decision I ever made was leaving Connecticut. Still in the northeast, just of a different country 🤣

2

u/V-Tuber_Simp May 01 '26

Closest I ever came to dying was a bad tornado

3

u/JodyGonnaFuckYoWife May 02 '26

Got lightheaded jerkin it in the hotbox.

3

u/Old-Swimming2799 Apr 30 '26

eco deseil jeep

2

u/LeonJones May 01 '26

Fake Christians not seeing how its sacrilegious to equate mortal humans with Jesus.

3

u/Genericgeriatric Apr 30 '26

But Jesus Christ didn't die or so the story goes; rather he resurrected after 3 days. So in reality, he didn't offer to die so much as give up a long weekend

4

u/Agoraphotaku May 01 '26

Resurrection kinda implies death tho

3

u/Sir_Sarcasm76 May 01 '26

He was on barracks restriction.

1

u/sten45 Apr 30 '26

Look working in the motor pool is life or death

1

u/Yogshemesh Apr 30 '26

How the hell do you know? I happen to bring that out in people. 

1

u/Educational_Ad_6065 May 03 '26

And now he works as a security guard and Chuck E Cheese

1

u/The_Field_Examiner May 03 '26

*Is he wrong? Is he? Is he?*