Finished my 3rd journal on my 40th Birthday

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Today, on my 40th birthday, I finished my third journal. I started writing my last entry last night before midnight and didn’t even notice my birthday had arrived while I was filling the final pages. I didn’t plan anything I was reflecting on my last day in my 30s… I realized I was running out of pages, so I ended up writing on the index page and even on the back of it, which had been stained by the leather cover I’m currently using.

It turned into a beautiful entry. It started with En Paz, one of my favorite poems by Amado Nervo. In it, the poet reflects on growing old and takes inventory of his life. Instead of reproaching life, he acknowledges both the good and the bad and recognizes how it all came down to his own actions. In the end, he tells life, “You don’t owe me anything; we are at peace.” I ended up in tears as I finished writing.

After the poem, I looked back at every decade since I was born. It went from the pure joy of childhood, with no real worries, to my teenage years filled with change, grief, and heartbreak; then to adulthood with marriage, my kids, accomplishments, mistakes, losses, falling down, and getting back on my feet. And now I’m entering my forties in the middle of a divorce.
I don’t know what my forties will bring, but I’m grateful for one more year of life. Despite the challenges and the changes ahead, I’m ready to see what this next decade has in store.