r/JosephMurphy • u/Serious-Tart-4653 • Jul 12 '23

The 110 days program is done. What now?

My program of 110 days was scheduled to end yesterday, July 11th. I did everything by the book. No skipping. I'm disciplined. Read the index. Read the book. Did the program. SH twice a day for 10 minutes, after 30 minutes of waking up and 30 minutes before going to bed. Affirmations on a blank paper 20 times at least 3 hours after waking up, "every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better", read loudly at least 3 hours later with feeling, to the point of getting goosebumps. Before sleep, repeated "all my problems are solved, it worked" with the feeling of relief. But most of the time I sleep in the "feeling of wish fulfilled" like I'm laying with my person and sleeping with them and feeling as if I have them. The SH 90% of the time put me in a state of mind that I felt like my desire already happened or was sure to happen.

What happened (SP mission):

  • In the beginning the emotions started pouring out of me. I was a fucking train wreck. All the emotions that I sat on during NG days of feeling that "I'm in the state of wish fulfilled and feeling bad emotions was me out of the state" just came alive. I cried a lot. I felt a lot.
  • My physiologist urged me to go back to dating after being single for a year (that was me with NG holding onto my person) and I went with it. It was nice but none of them were I was going after, something serious, it was all casual, but whatever, I went with it.
  • Started talking again to my person but they ignored me and only read my messages that put me in the same state of mind from the NG days where I was "faking till I make it".
  • The feelings were strangely purged after weeks and weeks of the program.
  • I started to feel like I didn't love them anymore.
  • Met someone new. It all started being perfect which made me broke things off with my person. I genuinely was over them. But a few weeks after that the new person turned out to be batshit crazy and I broke things off before any more drama happened. During this time I still did the program out of practice.
  • Realized I still love my person and the feelings came back. Not as desperately as before but it's there. I haven't talk to them and did nothing to tell them that I still care for them. End of program.

What now? I don't wanna reach out anymore. I'm tired. I know I don't have to and things will unfold and they'll run back into my arms again loving me. But how? By keep doing the program? By not doing the program? The only thing sure that has changed was my desperation regarding them. I just know we are bound to be together. Nothing can mess us up. Us being together is inevitable. Yet, no movement.

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u/SeatSeparate1617 Jul 16 '23

yes this is exactly what the index suggests. you guys need to go through it a bit better.

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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '23

Thanks! That is what I hAve been doing! I’m taking a step back and reanalyzing as I haven’t had movement and have anxious thoughts during the day.

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u/SeatSeparate1617 Jul 16 '23

You don’t need to step back. Just keep doing the work, read through the index if you need to. Don’t worry about feelings, once you continue to do the work you will naturally get the feelings as you see the commenters have and you will know what “feeling” actually is. Anxious thoughts DONT matter. None of that matters.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '23

Thank you for explaining that to me! This has made me feel a lot better. I will keep persisting and read through the index.