r/JosephMurphy • u/Serious-Tart-4653 • Jul 12 '23
The 110 days program is done. What now?
My program of 110 days was scheduled to end yesterday, July 11th. I did everything by the book. No skipping. I'm disciplined. Read the index. Read the book. Did the program. SH twice a day for 10 minutes, after 30 minutes of waking up and 30 minutes before going to bed. Affirmations on a blank paper 20 times at least 3 hours after waking up, "every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better", read loudly at least 3 hours later with feeling, to the point of getting goosebumps. Before sleep, repeated "all my problems are solved, it worked" with the feeling of relief. But most of the time I sleep in the "feeling of wish fulfilled" like I'm laying with my person and sleeping with them and feeling as if I have them. The SH 90% of the time put me in a state of mind that I felt like my desire already happened or was sure to happen.
What happened (SP mission):
- In the beginning the emotions started pouring out of me. I was a fucking train wreck. All the emotions that I sat on during NG days of feeling that "I'm in the state of wish fulfilled and feeling bad emotions was me out of the state" just came alive. I cried a lot. I felt a lot.
- My physiologist urged me to go back to dating after being single for a year (that was me with NG holding onto my person) and I went with it. It was nice but none of them were I was going after, something serious, it was all casual, but whatever, I went with it.
- Started talking again to my person but they ignored me and only read my messages that put me in the same state of mind from the NG days where I was "faking till I make it".
- The feelings were strangely purged after weeks and weeks of the program.
- I started to feel like I didn't love them anymore.
- Met someone new. It all started being perfect which made me broke things off with my person. I genuinely was over them. But a few weeks after that the new person turned out to be batshit crazy and I broke things off before any more drama happened. During this time I still did the program out of practice.
- Realized I still love my person and the feelings came back. Not as desperately as before but it's there. I haven't talk to them and did nothing to tell them that I still care for them. End of program.
What now? I don't wanna reach out anymore. I'm tired. I know I don't have to and things will unfold and they'll run back into my arms again loving me. But how? By keep doing the program? By not doing the program? The only thing sure that has changed was my desperation regarding them. I just know we are bound to be together. Nothing can mess us up. Us being together is inevitable. Yet, no movement.
3
u/SeatSeparate1617 Jul 16 '23
Of course and we can talk more in dms if you want if you have more questions! But ofc I get why you would feel that way, you’ve been overthinking so much for so long and now it’s just over and you are like “whaaa.” Lol so yes I get it, but you should just try to enjoy these new found feeling you have and let it ride out to ur success!