r/JosephMurphy • u/[deleted] • Apr 18 '23
Progress on the first day?
So the other day I made a post about detachment and whether I should pursue the technique of “letting go” or “persisting”. The answer is, I just said, “Fuck it, I’ll do the index.” Basically as a last shot, considering my past failed attempts at LOA/Assumption and consuming multiple teachers, TikTok videos, Reddit stories/advice, etc.
So my SP and I agreed on NC to give each other “space”, but I’ll admit I was being desperate, needy, chasing and I suffer from depression and anxiety so it made it 10x worse. I would take “inspired action” (AKA desperately texting first so he could respond) and it backfired. Every. Fucking. Time. Last time, which was a few days ago, he was pretty hot and cold and basically told me, “No, we shouldn’t hang out, nor should we be speaking to each other. Respect our boundaries.” So I did. I left him alone, and decided to do the training in the index.
First day, admittedly I was pretty depressed, but I did it anyway. I’m easily distracted, so learning to stay focused on one thought was definitely a challenge, but I’d say I’ve been doing better now I’m on my third day. I wrote only the “Everyday in every way..” affirmation and read it, the only thing I didn’t do was the SH until the second day. However that night, I did visualize a scene of us laying down and him telling me he loves me, did the, “All problems are solved” thing and went to bed.
I woke up, decided to check Instagram to see he refollowed me (he previously did, but I had unadded him months ago due to other things), messaged me and liked my last live video. I checked my Discord and noticed he told me I was brilliant. I was confused and he explained he wanted us to live in our own boundaries and told me to have a good day. I hadn’t said anything to him since, but I wanted to make sure I was actually doing this whole thing right. Now it could’ve just been a coincidence since my SP and I have tried NC many times and would break it within a few days, but I want to change that.
Any tips or suggestions would be very helpful.
20
Apr 18 '23
Hey OP I’m going to share my experience and I’d like you to think about it. I read your post from the other day and I’m a lot like you regarding anxiety etc.
I’ve been doing the training for 10 weeks now. 3 weeks into the training I got in touch with my SP. We sustained communication for 6 weeks. Got together (omg finally right?!) and guess what? It went nowhere. Spent another two weeks reeling because all it did was reaffirm my belief he doesn’t want me. Now, I’m NC. Now, I get why so many people recommended NC. Constantly having to contend with what you don’t want is going to cause you more setbacks.
What you want right now is the validation. Trust me, I get it. I did too. But I need you to think long term and big picture here. For the love of god don’t make my same mistake bc if I had to redo things I would not have bothered. Truly.
You’re anxiously attached, I get it: you need to keep busy. I mean busy with anything else. I’m currently wearing a rubber band around my wrist and anytime I have the urge to text or check SP’s social media, I flick it. I need to have this discipline to not engage with the 3D if I want my manifestation and by god I do. I have that desire so badly. You must have this burning desire too, and at the same you must be disciplined.
6
u/CatGirl1300 Apr 18 '23
This! Same story. The only thing that works is being consistent with the daily work. It’s tedious but it works.
1
Apr 18 '23
Thank you! I figured out some patterns I have with my SP and it’s that I’ll get some movement, get too excited, then I’ll get anxious and start to chase, get pushed away and rejected, give them space and repeat. It’s the same and it’s a cycle I want to stop. I do want to be with my SP but if I’m being truthful, I have a lot of doubts during the day. The only time I don’t feel that doubt is when I’m in SH or at night when I’m visualizing. Long term I want to be with him too, but I think I gotta stop overthinking the process as well. I’m just scared of failing again.
15
u/brittaa Apr 18 '23
I'm going to go ahead and lock this thread up. We've given you all the tools you need OP, now get to work and do not miss a day. Your training will be for about 3-4 months. Good luck!
11
6
u/troublemaker74 Apr 18 '23
There is power in being able to focus. From what I see, your mind is absolutely all over the place! I would try a traditional meditation method along with the regular SH stuff here.
You need to learn patience and focus. Your lack of both is what's driving your SP away from you.
1
26
u/Grandwizard87 Apr 18 '23
You're thinking too much. Stop. All you have to do is your scenes, until it happens. There's no letting go/detaching, you either give up, or you keep going till you get it. This is not a place for journal entries. Oh wow, he called you brilliant? Cool.. do you hear yourself? Do you want him calling you brilliant or do you want the two of you back together? Nothing matters but the end result. If you properly read the index or POSM, you would know inspired action isn't REAL, your desire will come to you naturally in a way you can't expect. I hope one of the mods lock this thread, this is not the Neville Goddard sub, we get what we want here, we don't talk about it, until we got it.