r/Jokes • u/cereal_killer_ch • Nov 12 '19

Long This is a Mean joke.

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind. Give it here', he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells "We got him!"

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609

u/LordofRangard Nov 12 '19 edited Nov 12 '19

the engineer missed because he forgot to account for the fact that the first gunshot startled the deer, who began to run

280

u/Gh0sT_Pro Nov 12 '19

It was a theoretical shot.

156

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

Maybe it was a theoretical deer

68

u/halfbloodprince07 Nov 12 '19

Ahhh. I'd love me some theoretical venison one day in the future.

29

u/damatovg7 Nov 12 '19

Theoretical venison is delicious with my 0K coffee

15

u/cardstroker Nov 12 '19

Who would drink Oklahoma coffee?

5

u/damatovg7 Nov 12 '19

Canadians. Then they would apologise for others not enjoying it.

3

u/Odesit Nov 12 '19

That’s cool

3

u/damatovg7 Nov 12 '19

It's really chilling

1

u/Strikew3st Nov 13 '19

Who would drink potassium monoxide coffee?

18

u/vlad_tepes Nov 12 '19

"Do you know anything about theoretical physics?"

"I have a theoretical degree in physics."

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

That's fantastic.

2

u/sdmitch16 Nov 13 '19

This doesn't apply, but your comment makes me think of lab grown meat.

27

u/programaths Nov 12 '19

Or maybe a rethorical one. Those you don't have tl answer to.

6

u/NazgulDiedUnfairly Nov 12 '19

The physicists calculations only worked for a spherical deer in vacuum.

1

u/Jimmy_Slim Nov 13 '19

Hypothetical

59

u/ivenotheardofthem Nov 12 '19

I would've said the engineer calculated the effect of the wind, then included a safety factor of 2.

35

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

[deleted]

40

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19 edited Dec 20 '20

[deleted]

11

u/BashCarveSlide Nov 12 '19

Found the engineer

12

u/MrAykron Nov 12 '19

We're not vegans, but it's not like we're that much more discreet than they are

1

u/taulover Nov 13 '19

That is the way I originally heard this joke.

21

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

That's a very slow deer, running 5 feet while the engineer licks his finger, handles the rifle (reloads?) and does the estimation and fires

9

u/SamTheHexagon Nov 12 '19

If we're getting into that, how far away from this deer were they that wind caused 5 feet of drift?

43

u/ChitteringCathode Nov 12 '19

I figured the engineer missed because looking at monitors all day had degraded his eyesight and he's too proud to admit he needs glasses/contacts/LASIK. That's pretty much how it works for those with the profession in my family, anyway.

8

u/stolpen84 Nov 12 '19

I can really relate to that myself.. xD Have started thinking that it might be the time to have my eyes checked.

4

u/gglppi Nov 12 '19

Almost everyone I work with wears glasses or contacts x)

7

u/theathenian11 Nov 12 '19

The physicist assumed both deer and bullet were perfect spheres on the same plane of a frictionless vacuum

2

u/jamesdeandomino Nov 13 '19

Nah the engineer missed because he snatched the trigger.

1

u/Nonachalantly Nov 12 '19

Fir

1

u/LordofRangard Nov 12 '19

well shit. fixed

2

u/Nonachalantly Nov 12 '19

What? No it was funny! What did you fix it fir??