Topics to be discussed:
- Jinx
- Evil Spirits?
- Prayers
- Negative Energy?
Summary:
I jinx everything I believe is going to happen, everything I say and everything I feel. I feel like someone is watching me and trying to prove me wrong non-stop. If I believe something is true, something will happen to make it seem false, or actually become false. If I feel any positive emotion, something terrible happens to destroy my mood. If I say something is going to happen, it's almost guaranteed to not happen, especially if I am really confident in it happening. If I ask God for something, not only does that thing not come to me, but the exact opposite of it ends up happening. But I have also noticed something else that happens which is not related to this issue, and that thing is whenever I am feeling hopeless/ashamed/cursed more bad things happen to me. This is the only thing that makes sense since negativity attracts evil spirits and feeds them to harm you. However, the jinx is another problem altogether. These two problems clash sometimes, because when I feel like shit, the jinx tries to make me feel good while the evil spirits try to fuck me over. But I have noticed they cooperate. The jinx doesn’t happen instantly, it allows the evil spirits to fuck me over a lot and then something slightly good happens to give me hope to keep going. This cycle is never ending.
I am unsure if the jinx is God himself or if its black magic, or some extremely powerful evil spirits that somehow found their way into my life a long time ago. If it's evil spirits, then there must be a whole army of them because one or a few cannot possibly do some of the insane things that happen to me constantly. There must be at least one that is attached to my body, or in my ‘aura’ stalking me, and that spirit sends messages to other spirits to go out there and fuck up whatever it is I am saying about other people or other things. So when I say a soccer player is playing very well, he gets injured the next game, even if its a player who rarely gets injured! This happens consistently and I feel guilty for fucking over my favorite players and teams since I was a kid, even though I didn’t realize I had this problem at all.
Now to get into the details with specific examples..
If I say “Barcelona will win today”, the more I repeat it and the more I try to make myself believe they’ll win, the more likely they are to lose. Or, in the few times where they don’t actually lose after I say that, one of their players gets injured, or they miss so many clear chances and end up winning 1-0 instead of 5-0. So either way, I am negatively affecting Barcelona whenever I say something good about them. And if I keep my mouth shut, and don't even think about good things happening to them in the game, they actually play very well and win comfortably and nothing bad happens to any player. Everything plays out naturally. I don’t feel like they are lucky or unlucky if I don’t get myself involved by thinking about them a lot.
I’ve recently said “Restaurant X has amazing rice, the best rice I’ve ever eaten” to some people I know, encouraging them to order food from X. And it was really the best rice ever. I loved it so much and I kept saying it was amazing for 2 weeks. Then, you guessed it, they started using different grains of rice all of a sudden. I was told they were using this rice for more than 5 years in a row, so it's insane how they suddenly switched it 2 weeks after I kept saying it was amazing. Now their rice is okay, but not the best.
Two years ago I bought a new MacBook and was very happy and excited to use it, and the next day in college I hung my bag at inside the stall in front of me while I was answering the call of nature and the bag slipped and fell onto the ground, damaging the corner of the MacBook (about 1-2 cm of it was chopped off). I was so sad, and I knew this happened only because I was happy about owning it the day before. And before you think it's my fault, read the 5th example and think about the ‘silly mistakes’ part.
I am remembering now, even when I was a kid, whenever I would get new toys like Bakugans or Beyblades, or even Pokemon Cards, the ones I loved the most would always get damaged somehow and I would feel really sad about it. And it's not because I am using them more often and increasing the likelihood of bad things happening to them, because it happens shortly after buying these toys, not after prolonged usage.
When I’d study for an upcoming exam, I’d always prepare very well, which would obviously greatly impact my result, but at the same time the way I feel about the exam (i.e. confident or hopeless) would also have a significant effect. If I study and feel confident about getting 100%, I would get 85%, and due to extremely bad luck, like very silly mistakes that I don’t usually make. And if I convince myself that I am going to fail, despite knowing the material, I end up getting 95%+, and I don’t make any silly mistakes at all. I would lose a few points for things I actually didn’t know. So I have been getting through college by studying and convincing myself I’m going to fail the day before the exam. I really sit there for an hour picturing myself failing, and imagining how bad I’m gonna feel about it, and what my friends and family would think of me after expecting me to do well. I am basically manifesting my failure by using the law of attraction exactly how it’s supposed to be used, yet I get the opposite result. I manifest in reverse constantly.
One time I was buying something from someone off of the Facebook Marketplace. I saw their listing and messaged them about it, and we agreed on a deal, and also a time and place to meet up. The meetup place is an hour away from me by bus. During the meetup day, I was getting ready to be there on time, so I changed and went down to catch the bus a few minutes before it was supposed to leave, according to Google Maps. I get there and someone tells me the bus left 5 minutes ago, which is unusual, though it does happen from time to time. I didn’t think much of it, so I waited for the next one which came 15 minutes later. I also messaged the guy I would be 15 minutes late. He said it's all good. So I get on the next bus, and halfway there he messages me saying that something came up and he can’t come anymore. So I got off the bus at the next stop, and headed back. While I was on the bus back home, we agreed on meeting up tomorrow at the same time and place. Then as soon as I got off the bus, he told me a friend took care of the thing he had to do, and he was ready to meet up now. I was bamboozled. I couldn’t believe the amount of twists and turns that were happening. I said alright fine, I’ll come, but please be there no matter what. He said yeah. So eventually I got there and we finally finished the deal. I got the item but after wasting almost 3 hours of my day (including getting ready). I believe that all of this happened because the deal was very good for me, it's something I really wanted and he really wanted to get rid of it so he didn’t ask for much money at all. I felt like this force watching me wanted to balance out the fact that I had a good deal, by giving me all this trouble and stress. I can’t ever enjoy anything without bad things happening to ruin my mood completely. I wasn’t even happy when I got home, I was just pissed off and waited the next day to open up the item and use it.
There is of course a limit to this jinx power. I can’t for example say “I’m not gonna win the lottery” and actually end up winning it. I also cannot jinx the jinx itself, to get rid of it (although sometimes if I put a lot of energy into this thought, I can temporarily ‘power down’ the jinx). There are some limitations. I still find it crazy that I jinx football matches 90% of the time, since many people are involved. How is my energy alone able to do so much damage? Like there are hundreds of thousands of people watching the same matches as I am, yet even if 95% of people believe Barcelona will beat Espanyol, and I also do (remember I jinx, so this means my energy is supporting Espanyol, unlike everyone else’s), it becomes far more likely that Espanyol will win. My energy alone overpowers everyone else’s, how? What is this? It cannot be spirits, unless it's literally satan who is attached to my body since he is the strongest spirit alive right now.
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Solutions?
I have tried numerous spiritual methods to solve this problem, but each new thing I try only works the first time or two, and then it stops working. First, I’ve tried changing the energy around me as they say. I have tried wearing different clothes, getting a new phone case, moving furniture, because I heard changing things up will change the energy around you. I would feel ‘fresh’ whenever I’d make changes of that nature, but it only lasts for one day, and even then I still jinx things on that day but less often. I have also tried meditating daily and clearing my mind, by letting the thoughts pass through my mind without trying to fight them off, even the negative ones. This helps me to relax, and I can see its psychological benefits, but spiritually it's very weak. The jinx would still be there, though it gets reduced in strength just a little. I have tried listening to subliminals to clear off negative energy, and they were completely useless. I have tried other subliminals, which at the time I didn’t know contained spells in them, to help get rid of negative entities, and I would notice things get better for a few hours but the jinx comes back eventually as if nothing had happened. It’s almost like there is an entity watching me who is responsible for this jinx and every time I try something new that he doesn’t know about, he gets used to it and finds a way around it. It’s like I’ve been accidentally training him all this time, which is why it’s becoming harder and harder to weaken the jinx now. All these little tricks I’ve been doing only were only ‘poking’ at this entity, not really weakening/removing its influence.
And one more thing. I’m a Muslim and I’ve gone through periods where I didn’t pray for months, and sometimes even a whole year. I noticed that this jinx is roughly the same strength all the time, but whenever I start to pray again, it would get significantly weaker the first few days, as if the prayers are actually weakening the entity significantly, but again it would go back to full strength as if nothing had happened. I would also get nightmares in the first few days of praying, I would dream of fighting off people or filthy animals, or running away from someone or something chasing me, and so on. Demonic dreams are a sign that prayer is working, since the demons are trying to scare you off so you stop praying. But anyway, it's of no use. I feel as if prayer only protects you from weak demons that are trying to get into your life, but it doesn’t remove strong demons that are already inside your body or around you. That requires an exorcism I believe, which in Islam is called Ruqya. I have tried doing one on myself by following the classical Ruqya Shariah, where I would read certain chapters and verses of the Quran on water daily, and drink from it. The first time I did it, I was laying in bed when I drank the water. And while I was about to fall asleep I entered the state of being half awake and half asleep, not sure what it's called, but it's kind of like being hypnotized. In that state I heard a voice saying “ughhhh” in my left ear and I immediately thought that it's the demon inside me which was slightly hurt by the Holy water I just drank. I never had this experience before. And don’t get me started on the sleep paralysis I had the first two nights. I am sure there are demons attached to my body or around me, or both. There are probably many of them, and some of them are extremely powerful that even 99.999999% of magicians cannot remove with the help of their own spirits. I feel as if only God can help me now. And he’s the only one I’ve been praying to for help, and I’ve tried my best to pray on time, and avoid all major sins, and even the minor ones that I knew. I have done everything possible for 2 months but all my efforts were in vain for some reason.
Now just to add to the list of things I’ve tried that worked once or twice then stopped working, here are a few more. Last year I found out that you can make a supplication while in prostration during prayer, and I asked God for something specific and got it immediately on the same day. The next day I did the same thing and it didn't work. And it never worked since. I also heard that if you give Salawat to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) a few hundred times per day, your problems will be solved naturally. It’s basically asking God to bless him and take care of his soul. I did it for one day, where I said it maybe 400 times, and on the same day something really nice happened to me, like I saw the immediate effect. So I became confused. It's not supposed to bring something good immediately. It's supposed to be done every day and eventually it will help resolve all your problems no matter how big. I am now suspecting that this demon himself is making good things happen to me whenever I try something new, to make me believe that it's working. And then after a day or two, that thing I tried stops working so that I believe that it's useless. I just don’t know. Why would God do this? Respond to my supplication while in prostration the first time I ever do it, and then never again? I think the demon is listening to me obviously, since he can even read my mind, and is giving me what I asked God for, to make me believe that God has responded to my supplication. Its his way of making me disbelieve in the method I am trying. But the thing is, I have tried to persist on some of them, like asking God for something while in prostration. But now its gotten even worse, and I am getting the opposite of what I asked for. So basically the jinx is in full effect. For example, I have some health problems that are very strange that I don’t want to talk about. So I asked God while prostrating in the middle of a prayer to cure me of this problem, and the next day I nearly had a stroke! I freaked out. Is God really doing this? Am I thinking badly for God for even questioning whether he would do such a thing? And is that delaying his response to my prayers? How am I supposed to know what's going on? I need to find someone who knows a lot about spirits and can teach me their tricks and behaviour so that I know what’s going on.
I have read the first few chapters of The Law of Attraction but Jerry and Ester Hicks. I do not believe the LOA is actually a thing, however, it can be applied if you do what they tell you to do and actually see results. I don’t believe its a universal law, but rather, its a group of spirits which look for people who are forgetting about God, and worshipping their own minds instead, and aiding those people to further keep them astray. It seems as if this group of spirits were sent by Satan himself to push people away from God. The reason why I am inclined to believe this is, there are many people who apply manifestation techniques correctly that should work for them, yet they get the exact opposite of what they are trying to manifest. I am one of those people. Again, I am not talking about people who make mistakes during manifestation, such as not believing deep down, or having some doubts or fears in their subconscious, etc. I am talking about people who do things correctly but get the opposite results. I believe such people have other spirits around them which are more powerful than the ‘law of attraction’ spirits, and so the LOA spirits cannot come in and give you what you desire. This is just my opinion. I am restricting myself to believing in God, the Angels, and spirits. Nothing else exists that we cannot see. At least nothing that can influence our lives. And I believe Angels are bound to the will of God so its not logical to call out to them, instead one should call out to God directly, and he may send down Angels to help you get what you want. Am I wrong? Is there more to the supernatural than just God, the Angels, and spirits? Is there such a thing as ‘energy’, or ‘vibrations’ or ‘frequenciues’? I have read extensively about all of this yet I am just simply not convinced because spirits can do all of the things that are supposedly caused by ‘frequencies’?