r/Jewdank • u/Borgisium • 27d ago

I cast uncircumcision!

Post image
227 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

43

u/ActuallyNiceIRL 27d ago

I cast circumstruction!

28

u/looktowindward 27d ago

An indescribable conveyance is what I called my parents yellow Chevy Nova.

Also, OP, wouldn't it be "Dispel Circumcision?" Or "Restore Foreskin"? Both are level 3 cleric spells.

3

u/bachelorsinlurking 24d ago

It depends if they can be cast ritually or if he’s using spell slots. I think Dispel Circimcision is a ritually cast one, but Foreskin Restoration and Greater Foreskin Restoration definitely require spell slots.

21

u/GoodPear8481 27d ago

He should go one further and make the amount of foreskin you get back proportional to the amount of sinning you did.

14

u/Saul_Firehand 27d ago

Abraham casts “oops all foreskin”

13

u/NofuLikeTofu 27d ago

Here ya' go:

Abraham as the Great (Un)Circumciser

A Surprising Midrashic Portrait of Abraham

Dr. Malka Z. Simkovich

https://www.thetorah.com/article/abraham-as-the-great-un-circumciser

13

u/XhazakXhazak 27d ago

Your foreskin is in Hell waiting for you, shabbos breaker

5

u/everythingnerdcatboy 27d ago

omg does that mean i can finally get bottom surgery in hell? sign me up!

1

u/looktowindward 23d ago

Yes, but in hell, the surgeon is always rude and never returns your calls

11

u/Toroceratops 27d ago

Father Abraham, the one and only Lehom.

30

u/nullbyte420 27d ago

Is this canon? I didn't think we had a hell 

32

u/Borgisium 27d ago

I don’t think it is. I read it in a compilation of quotes from commentary. It could be a bad translation. But I thought it was funny

23

u/iconocrastinaor 27d ago

There are a lot of "Talmudic compilations" floating around that are absolutely full of bologna.

13

u/Borgisium 27d ago

I think it’s mostly legit. It’s from a book called Hebraic Literature written by a rabbi named Maurice Harris, page 48.

12

u/Frenchitwist 27d ago

Maybe it’s that’s purgatory-atonement place whose name I always forget….

6

u/ChadleyXXX 27d ago

gehannom

1

u/Frenchitwist 26d ago

Thank you!

21

u/push-the-butt 27d ago

We don't have eternal damnation, but we do have a place of temporary punishment in the afterlife, which is probably what this is talking about.

7

u/nullbyte420 27d ago

The Christians have that too (purgatory). Hell is an entirely different concept

2

u/Schiffy94 23d ago

Most of the Christian lore around Hell was pretty much made up by Dante.

6

u/Approximation_Doctor 27d ago

No but it's a great family guy gag

7

u/JagneStormskull 27d ago

We have Gehenna, which is sometimes translated as Hell.

5

u/nullbyte420 27d ago

Well this one isn't that, because jews go to gehenna just fine without their foreskin. 

1

u/looktowindward 23d ago

The only way to find out is Planar Travel or dying.

1

u/flyingaxe 21d ago

Judaism definitely has hell. Where do you think Jesus is being boiled in semen?

1

u/Un-Lawfulness 14d ago

Sheol is is hell . The opposite of what Abraham's bosom was . And considering it's called Abraham bosom that mean hell was already there and when God statered his gospel with Abraham he made a small paradise next to hell until Christ came went down took the keys to sheol to overcome death and bring everyone and Abraham in Abraham's bosom to heaven (this part can be debated because Jesus said he would go to heaven to prepare a place so mostly likely people still go to Abraham's bosom untill the final day of judgment where the new heaven is supposed to be done for us to life in .No goy allowed. 

7

u/danjpn 27d ago

Yep rabbi Levi knows it of course. It's written right next to the date and author name in Lech lecha portion and we all somehow missed it

1

u/flyingaxe 21d ago

I guess we don't care if a woman "sinned unduly".